Until Forever
by bbcherrytomato2
Summary: Based on the Korean TV Drama Series Queen Seon Deok which aired on GMA7-TV in 2010. It tells of the ill-fated romance between the Queen of Silla and her closest vassal, Lord Bidam.
1. PROLOGUE

**PROLOGUE**

Midnight. Only the soft twitter of crickets breaks the silence of the slumbering forest. The lone figure of a man sat motionless behind the trees, watching the deserted road. His dark clothes, together with the wide-brimmed hat that covered his face helped him blend with the surrounding forest, rendering him invisible to the untrained eye. Silent and unmoving, like a predator stalking its unsuspecting victim, he lay quietly in wait. He knew that his mark would not risk travelling through the main road to the capital.

After the incident at Chuwha County all roads leading to Seorabol would surely be heavily-guarded, if not barricaded by now. His target's only chance of evading the authorities would be the back roads that traversed the forest, and this same road, being the shortest route between the mines and the capital, would be the most logical one he would take. He also knew that the mines would be his target's only refuge now that their rebellious plot had been exposed.

For the past few days he had been observing his target's movements and he was not happy with what he had learned. The weapons and other troop provisions he saw being systematically stored within the abandoned mines near the border of Seorabol confirmed his suspicion. His target, together with his co-conspirators, were actively preparing for an uprising. It was time that he put a stop to their delusions. He had reached the limit of his patience and he could no longer tolerate their sly manipulations, their illusions of grandeur, their unquenchable thirst for power. It was also about time that he honored his promise to Her Majesty.

At last, the distinct sound of shuffling feet was heard. His prey had arrived. Silently, he left his hiding place and moved towards the road. Approaching was a group of men, casting nervous glances as they walked into the darkened forest, their torches forming eerie shadows against the trees. Slowly he advanced towards them, unaware of another dark shape shadowing his every step.

The men halted when his tall frame, clad in a non-descript attire, blocked their path. The large straw hat which he wore low on his brow obscured his face and a long sword was held loosely in his hand. They were startled when, in an imposing tone, he called out to their leader.

"Yeomjong! Show yourself, you coward! Stop hiding behind your men and face me!" he shouted.

"Who are you to address me that way, you miserable wretch!" a voice from behind the men answered.

The man removed the straw hat concealing his face and flung it towards Yeomjong. He slowly lifted his head. His eyes were blazing with unmistakable fury as he greeted Yeomjong with a mocking smile.

"Bidam!" Yeomjong exclaimed. He tentatively stepped back, genuinely fearing for his life. Yeomjong knew Bidam well and he immediately recognized the bloodlust in his opponent' s unwavering stare.

"My Lord! Where have you been? We've been searching all over for you!" Yeomjong cried after regaining a little of his composure.

"It's over, Yeomjong. I'm sick and tired of your despicable conspiracies. So, stop wasting my time and let's get this over with quickly! You're not the only one on my list, afterall!" Bidam replied, sneering.

Yeomjong knew in his heart that Bidam was not to be fooled and was bent on killing him. There was no forgiveness to be found in his superior this time. Yeomjong made to run as he screamed for his men to attack the hostile new arrival.

"What are you waiting for, you fools? Kill him! Kill him!" he shrieked.

Yeomjong's men ran towards Bidam, their drawn swords pointing menacingly at him. Bidam smiled and slowly unsheathed his own sword. He flexed his neck, as if loosening the tense muscles there and with his feet postured apart, braced for the onslaught, the silver blade of his sword glinting maliciously in the firelight.

"Twelve to one..hmm..seems like an even fight," he said, taunting his opponents, a lopsided grin etched on his handsome face. With his free hand, he gestured for them to come forward. Yeomjong's men charged and commenced their assault. Bidam swung his sword and parried each deadly blow, slashing left and right, cutting down everything in its path like a scythe. One by one, the men fell to the ground, dead.

The last three survivors circled him as they prepared to launch a concerted attack. With astonishing speed and grace, Bidam leaped from the ground and pirouetted in midflight, his sword cruelly hacking into his opponents' bodies with deadly precision as he came down at them. In the blink of an eye, the battle was over and Bidam was left standing amongst Yeomjong's fallen men. Breathing heavily, more out of exhilaration than exhaustion, he looked up at Yeomjong and smiled triumphantly.

Yeomjong, choking with rising panic, slowly backed away from Bidam's approaching form. He stopped short when his back hit the trunk of a tree. He turned to flee but Bidam adeptly leapt to his feet and landed directly in front of him, his sword poised at Yeomjong's throat.

"I should have killed you a long time ago, you scum!" Bidam said, a cynical smile curving his lips.

"I can see that you haven't lost your touch, my lord. You are still the best swordsman I've ever seen! Truly, you're a master, a master, indeed!" Yeomjong said, chortling nervously, his eyes darting from left to right, frantically searching for an escape.

"Ah, I remember now. I also wondered then if you could still laugh with your head rolling in the dirt. Perhaps it's time that I satisfy my curiosity," Bidam said. He raised his sword, the metal glinting with evil purpose, prepared to deliver the death blow.

The gleaming sword stopped midway its deadly track when, out of the corner of his eye, Bidam saw a dim figure emerge from behind the trees. In the silence of the forest he heard the soft hiss of the poisoned projectile as it flew towards him. He twisted his body to the left, just in time to avoid the deadly dart that was the meant to end his life. His eyes followed its path as it harmlessly hit the trunk of the tree behind him. The assassin adjusted his aim and let loose a second dart but Bidam easily deflected it with the blade of his sword. Hastily, he turned away from Yeomjong and pursued his would-be killer.

The assassin swiftly ran towards the forest but Bidam was able to overtake him with ease. The black-clad figure turned and drew his sword, forced to face his pursuer. His sword clashed with his chaser's blood-stained weapon as he tried to strike, left then right, desperately trying to cut his adversary down but skilled as he was, he still was no match for the other man's expertise. The assassin was quickly overpowered and disarmed in just a few seconds.

"Who ordered you to kill me?" Bidam asked the assassin, his sword poised threateningly at the other man's throat. The man, however, remained silent, his eyes flashing in defiant hatred at his executioner.

Unable to receive any response, Bidam impatiently pulled off the assassin's mask and was stunned when he immediately recognised the man to be Heuk San, one of Her Majesty's household guards, the same man who had denied him access to the Queen just a couple of days ago.

A cold sweat broke out on his forehead as a dreadful thought hit him. _It can't be! It's impossible!_ A thousand possibilities swam inside his head and he dreaded the man's answer. Yet his desire to know the truth overpowered his fear.

"Tell me the truth! Who sent you here?" he screamed – icy panic slowly creeping into his heart. "Tell me or I swear I'll cut you down, right here, right now!" he furiously asked, his bloodied sword now pressing against the assassin's exposed neck.

The guard called Heuk-San, still fearless and defiant, just stared at him and said nothing.

"Answer me, you bastard! Who sent you to kill me?" Bidam hissed, pressing his sword closer to the man's neck.

"Kill all enemies of our kingdom! Kill all traitors! Long live Her Majesty!" Heuk San cried insolently and with surprising strength, grabbed Bidam's arm and pressed it closer to his neck, the sword slicing lethally against his throat.

Bidam stared as the dying man slowly slid to the ground, dumbfounded by the unexpected suicide of his ill-fated assassin, the deadly sword falling from his numbed fingers.

Dazed by the dying man's final words, Bidam slowly turned and walked away from the ghastly scene. Heuk-san's dying words kept ringing inside his head, the message clear yet too staggering to believe.

Yeomjong came running beside the dead man's body and shrieked when he also recognised the black-clad figure.

"My lord! This man was a Palace Guard! He's one of Her Majesty's personal household guards. How could he..." he stopped short when he saw the same conclusion etched in Bidam's anguished expression. When he looked back, he saw Bidam walking aimlessly down the dirt road.

 _It can't be! She wouldn't!_ Bidam kept on repeating to himself. _It's impossible!_

Yeomjong ran after Bidam and grabbed his arm. Slowly, he guided his confused leader to the side of the road and made him sit on a small rock. As if in a trance, glazed eyes staring out into the dark, his lips moving wordlessly, Bidam followed without resistance. Yeomjong knew that he had to bring the valiant warrior back to his senses.

"Master, this treachery cannot be forgiven! You must take action now. The Palace guard was obviously sent by Her Majesty to kill you!" he paused, waiting for any reaction from his befuddled leader. Emboldened by the other's silence, Yeomjong plunged on.

"Look at what she's done to you! You devoted your life in service to her, you almost abandoned us for her sake and this is how she rewards you?" Yeomjong cried.

As if awoken from a deep sleep, Bidam slowly turned his gaze towards Yeomjong and grabbed him by the throat.

"If you don't shut your mouth, I will slice it off your face," he said, the crazed look on his eyes almost dissolving Yeomjong's determination. Yeomjong knew, however, that he had to break through the other's chaotic mind so he steeled himself and mustered what little courage he had left.

"Go ahead! Kill me, then! But will it change anything? Will it change the fact that Her Majesty had finally turned against you?" he screamed.

Bidam felt like a thousand knives were suddenly thrust into his heart. He pushed Yeomjong away and slowly rose on trembling legs, his whole being assaulted by a piercing feeling of defeat and revulsion.

Yeomjong started to rise too; intent on following his leader but Bidam raised his hand and signalled for him to stop.

"Let me be," he said quietly and slowly walked towards the eerily silent forest.

Yeomjong knew that his master was in a very dangerous state of mind and must not be provoked any further so he sat back down and contended himself with watching the tormented man stagger away. He could almost touch the waves of conflicting emotions that emanated from Bidam's plagued soul.

Silently, he looked at the retreating figure of Bidam and thought, _Go and confront your demons, Bidam. I will be here, waiting..._


	2. I - Ch 1 The Seeds of Doubt

**PART I**

 **Chapter 1. The Seeds of Doubt**

Bidam hurriedly walked towards Ingang Palace after receiving an urgent summons from Her Majesty, the Queen. He suspected that it pertained to the contingency plan he had presented earlier in court. He also hoped against hope that she had finally changed her mind. Silla was now officially at war with Baekje and Bidam, as head of the Royal Inspectorate, charged not only with the internal affairs of the state but national security as well, had designed emergency plans to address this new crisis. Based on the recent intelligence reports, the Baekje armies were already marching towards Amnyangju, obviously emboldened by their continuous victory against the Silla defense lines. News of Lord Jujin's forced retreat to Nam Cheon due to heavy casualty was received with trepidation by the entire royal court.

Silla's capital, Seorabol, was just a day's ride from Amnyangju, and would surely be breached in no time if the Yushin army, known as such because of its famed leader, Lord Kim Yushin, also failed in routing the invading forces. Her Majesty had sent them as reinforcement to Lord Jujin and was just now engaging the enemy. These recent developments at the war front plus the knowledge that it was his sworn duty to protect not only the kingdom but Her Majesty herself, had prompted Bidam to present to the court the boldest plan he had ever come up with –the immediate evacuation of the entire royal entourage to a safe location in Yul Po Heon. Although it ensured the safety of the entire royal family, it also meant forcing the Queen to abandon the capital itself. Bidam had assured Her Majesty that he, together with his troops in the Royal Inspectorate, would remain in Seorabol and defend the capital to the last man.

Conflicting reactions to this bold plan were voiced by the ministers. Lords Seo Hyeon and Yong Chun, staunch supporters of the Queen, advised Her Majesty against it. They insisted that such a move would be tantamount to defeat since it would surely deflate the armies' morale. The two insisted that the Queen's abandonment of the capital would mean virtual surrender, with the capital handed over to the invaders on a silver platter. On the other hand, Lords Mi Saeng and Ha Jong, both members of the Royal Inspectorate and loyal supporters of Lord Bidam, urged Her Majesty to evacuate the capital as soon as possible. Their argument was that evacuating the Queen would secure her from immediate capture should the capital be inevitably penetrated by enemy forces. The Queen patiently listened to the suggestions put forth by the two camps but in the end, her dedication to her troops won out making her refuse Bidam's proposal entirely. She declared that it was a cowardly move and would do nothing but dishearten the people. And so, Bidam was left with the dilemma of convincing Her Majesty to accede to his proposal.

When Bidam arrived at the Palace, he was immediately escorted to the Queen's receiving room where he found her sitting at her desk, going over several documents. Although he knew that she was already aware of his presence, she refused to look up from her papers. Her cold gesture told him that she was not in a very congenial mood. Yet he could feel no animosity towards her for he saw the tell-tale signs of the strain of the war with Baekje. The dark circles under her eyes also told him that the war was beginning to take its toll on her and that she had not been sleeping well lately either. A sudden desire to protect her welled up within his breast and he became even more determined to make her see the wisdom of his plan.

"Your Majesty, shall I go over my contingency plan again?" he asked after taking a seat directly before her.

"I will not leave Seorabol," the Queen said, her voice betraying the irritation she felt at Bidam's insistence. Turning from her papers, she looked up sharply at him and said, "However, I would like you to escort Lord Chun Chu to Yul Po Heon so that if worse comes to worst and the capital indeed falls into enemy hands he would still be able to lead our remaining forces in our campaign to regain it."

Her words, though logical and filled with good intention, frustrated Bidam. It also gave him the impression that what the Queen really feared was the possibility that he would seize control of the capital once she and Lord Chun Chu had been whisked away to a safe location. He felt that the real reason for the Queen's reluctance to leave the capital was her suspicion of his real motives. Her reaction to his proposal implied that she did not believe that what he was doing was really for her own protection but rather borne out of a desire to be hailed as a hero.

"Are you afraid that I will seize control of Silla? Don't you really trust me anymore?" he quietly asked, his voice cracking with emotion.

"It's not that," the Queen answered, averting her eyes.

"Then why can't you look at me when you say it? Have you forgotten that I am the person who brought about Mishil's death? Have you forgotten that I drove my own mother to her death? For your sake!" he cried.

The Queen quickly turned to him, clearly hurt and upset by his words, her eyes flashing venom and boring into his very soul.

"Are you now blaming me for that? Are you beginning to resent me for what you've done?" she replied.

Bidam was taken aback by her answer. Her words stung him and painfully he realized that he was no longer speaking with the Deokman he once knew.

"You have changed. When I first met you I had tried to turn you over to your enemies in exchange for medicine. Instead of hating me for such a deed you even thanked me. I was not aware of your reasons, then, but it did not matter for that was the first time that anyone had ever thanked me. That was the first time that someone had not reprimanded or blamed me for my actions," he paused and took a deep breath, dying slowly inside.

He could never forget the first time that he met the young princess and for him, it did not seem that long ago; in fact, it still felt like it happened only yesterday.

It all began fourteen years ago when a mysterious plague had been ravaging several of the remote villages just north of the capital. Medication was scarce and most of the seriously ill were either abandoned by their families or were already the last living member of theirs. He and his master, Geokson Munno, were just passing through the village but since the Geokson was quite knowledgeable in rare diseases, he took it upon himself to care for the neglected sick and the dying. Several days after their arrival at the village, Munno instructed Bidam to gather as much wild ginger root as he could from the surrounding forest. He was told that it was the primary ingredient in the concoction needed to cure the rare disease. Bidam searched the surrounding forests and gathered as much as he could find. It turned out, however, that the much sought-after herb had already been harvested by the local apothecaries. After failing to gather the required quantity he had no choice but to seek the village merchants who were apparently hoarding the highly in-demand ingredient.

And so it was that while he was pleading with an extremely difficult merchant for the medicinal herbs that he was forcibly taken by a group of men, whose leader, he later learned, was no other than the much-feared Lord Seolwon, Silla's Minister of Defence and Lady Mishil's[1] right-hand man. Upon reaching the Minister's temporary headquarters, Lord Seolwon's aide told the Minister that he had heard Bidam say to the merchant that he was one of the last remaining residents of the ill-fated village and so he surmised that Bidam might know of the presence of the persons they were pursuing. The Minister, after learning of his predicament with the herbs then promised to give him whatever he needed if he helped in getting hold of two fugitives, a young man dressed in a Nangdo[2] or Army Trainee outfit and his companion, a runaway officer of the King's army.

From the Minister's description of the wanted men, Bidam concluded that the men they were seeking were the same ones he had helped escape from a group of armed men the day before. Little did he know that the young man was actually the long-lost princess of Silla, disguised as a man. But because of his desire to get hold of the herbs, he decided to help the Minister. He surmised that the lives of two hundred people who would be saved by the medicinal herbs the Minister promised to give him for his services far outweighed the fate of the condemned men. After striking a bargain with Lord Seolwon, and after being told that the Minister was really only after the young man, he immediately went back to the village to look for them. In order to get the young man alone, he tricked and incarcerated Yushin, Deokman's companion, and self-appointed protector, in an old cell inside an abandoned prison camp. He then tied Deokman, whom he only saw as an unfortunate "young man", to an ancient Yew tree inside the camp. He expected the young man to fight him nail and tooth but was bewildered when Deokman, instead of getting angry at him, calmly accepted "his" fate and even thanked him for his kindness when he brought them their food.

Deokman's demeanor disturbed him and caused him to have second thoughts about his deal with Seolwon. However, his need for the herbs was more urgent and so he brushed aside his apprehensions and escorted the young man to Minister Seolwon the very next day. After surrendering his prisoner to the minister, he went back to Munno and presented him with the herbs that he received as payment for the capture of Deokman. His doubts, however, would not leave him in peace and so he confessed to his Master what he had done to get hold of the herbs. The older man rebuked him for his callousness, telling him that he did not have the right to sacrifice the life of one man even if his intentions were noble. And so, with a palpable sense of dread aggravating his guilt, he went after the Minister's entourage and risked his own life in rescuing the young princess whom he had inadvertently betrayed. He had no idea that that single decision would change his life forever. He never even imagined that from that moment on, he would never be the same again.

Pulling his thoughts away from his sordid past, he turned back to the young Queen before him as, with a voice barely hiding his pain, he continued, "You were the only one who looked at me differently. What other people called insolence, you called confidence. What the world saw as cruelty, you called courage. What everyone saw as vile underhanded tricks, you called brilliant strategy and on the day that Lady Mishil killed herself[3] and I had admitted to you that she was the mother who had abandoned me as a baby; the mother who never even acknowledged me as her son, you did not condemn me but instead embraced me and comforted me."

"Stop it! I don't want to listen to this anymore!" the Queen said, turning away from Bidam. Bidam, however, could not help but voice his despair.

"So, why do you question my motives now? Why then is my sincerity suddenly regarded as just a ruse to take control of Silla? Why is my genuine desire to protect you so unbelievable? Are you now so oblivious to my true feelings? Have you really changed that much?" he cried, the agony of his soul overpowering the last vestiges of his self-control.

Unable to take the pain that was gripping his heart Bidam did not wait for the Queen to answer but instead hastily stood up and fled the room.

The Queen, startled by the intensity of Bidam's words, remained seated at her desk, feeling more confused than ever. Strangely, she understood the anguish that plagued the man. She and Bidam, both having been raised outside Seorabol and unaccustomed to palace life naturally gravitated towards each other. They were both strangers to the politics of the palace and they found comfort in each other's company. She recalled the countless times that Bidam had been at her side. She remembered how he had been there to unquestioningly support her in her bid to reclaim her place as the long-lost daughter of the King after her twin sister Chong Myeong had been assassinated. She remembered how he had risked his life countless times in her arduous journey to re-establish the political clout of the Royal Family and gain the throne. She remembered how after she had been finally recognized as Princess and had returned to the Palace, he brought her wildflowers that he had picked along the way only because he thought it was her birthday.

Having lived most of her life disguised as a man, she never had much chance to act like a girl and it was the first time she had ever received flowers from anyone. Even Yushin, after confessing his deep feelings for her, never did that. It was a simple gesture that had made such a deep impression in her heart.

She remembered how Bidam came to rescue her when she bravely went back to the Palace to face the false charges that Lady Mishil had fabricated to discredit her, how he held her trembling hands after she had, as a young princess struggling to impose her authority, unwillingly executed the rebellious farmers she had entrusted with their own farmlands, how he had always come running to her side to comfort her whenever she felt like crumbling from the pressures of her position, how he would crack jokes and act silly just to make her laugh and forget all her worries, how he had always been there to sit quietly beside her and make her feel human again.

All of a sudden, the Queen felt a deep longing for the Bidam she once knew; and just right then she realized just how much she really needed him. Slowly, she picked up the contingency plan Bidam had drawn up and slowly read it with new eyes.

* * *

[1]Lady Mishil was the leader of the Royal Family's strongest opposing clan. She was the Keeper of the Royal Seal and had used her influence to manipulate the royal courtiers. Her ultimate goal had been to wrest the Crown from the King and proclaim herself as Supreme Ruler of Silla.

[2] Hwarang (officer of the Royal Army) trainee

[3]Lady Mishil, in a desperate last-ditch effort to wrest the throne from the King, instigated a coup d'etat and captured the fortress outside Seorabol. When the coup failed, she sequestered herself inside the fortress and killed herself by taking poison. It was rumored that it was actually Bidam's threat to reveal Lady Mishil's secret that actually pushed her to commit the fatal act.


	3. I - Ch 2 Realization

**PART I**

 **Chapter 2. Realization**

Although still dismayed by their earlier conversation, Bidam knew he must not just let the matter of Her Majesty's evacuation remain as it is, so when evening came, he went back to the Palace and sought an audience with the Queen. Her household guard told him that she was outside taking a walk. Instinctively, he knew where to find her.

The Queen had always loved looking at the Lake at night, especially when she needed to think. She said that the calmness of the still waters helped her to see things more clearly. And just as he expected, he found Her Majesty walking along its banks, looking out at the water, lost in thought. He could still feel the burning pain in his heart brought by her utter rejection but protect her, he must, and he needed her to change her mind – now – while there's still time to put his plan into action. Quietly, he approached her.

When the Queen saw him approaching, she quickly wiped away the tears that streaked down her cheeks, unaware that he had already seen them.

"Have you finally decided?" Bidam quietly asked. He wanted so much to comfort her but he was afraid that she would reject his touch and so he restrained himself and looked down at the placid waters instead, quietly waiting for her answer.

The Queen remained silent, her pale face, shrouded by the shadows cast by the torches, turned towards the darkened Lake. The agony in her heart was evident when she finally spoke.

"There was a time when everything in my life was simple. I did not worry much about the past nor about the future. Then one day,my world was turned upside down. I met Chilsuk, a traveler who turned out to be the very man who had been hunting me for the last fifteen years. He sought us out even in the desert and tried to kill me. In the desert, I saw the mother I had known all my life die before my eyes protecting me. From then on, I swore that I must find out who I truly was.

And so, I traveled to Gyerim, on my own, to search for Munno, the man whom I thought held the key to my identity. To protect myself, I disguised myself as a man and due to some strange turn of events became an Army Trainee, a Nangdo. Then, just as I was ready to give up on my search for my past I found out that I was a twin, the princess that His Majesty had sent away to protect the Royal family. Those who were loyal to the King wanted to kill me to belie the prophecy[1] that declared the fall of the Royal House in the event of a twin birth, Lady Mishil tried to capture me to oust the Queen; my sister, Princess Cheonmyeong, died protecting me and Yushin risked everything to do the same. The rest of the people who learned about my real status bowed down before me and revered me, telling me of the great feats that I must accomplish. Since then, nothing had been the same and I suddenly felt that I had ceased to be me.

Then, out of nowhere, you came into my life. You intended to sell me to my enemies but instead ended up saving my life. Even when you learned about my real identity, you did not care that I was a princess and treated me like you would an ordinary person. I did not mind and I even asked you to keep on treating me that way because, with you at least, I felt like my old self again. Even when I regained my title and had returned to the Palace, you did not change and even brought me flowers. You were not afraid to show me your concern and had no qualms in touching me or holding my hands to comfort me when everyone else distanced themselves and put me on a pedestal. Even when other people warned me about your motives, I did not care because with you I could be myself and that made me happy. And that's also why our relationship never really changed that much," she paused and turned to look at him.

"So what happened? Why do you seem so different now?" he asked, longingly looking into her eyes.

The Queen turned away from him, afraid of the emotions that he might see in her eyes.

"I changed the day that I lost my name. I became the Queen and therefore had become nothing more than 'Her Majesty' to everyone. Princes and Princesses have names, even the lowliest peasant has his own name but a ruler does not. A ruler ceases to be a person and no one can ever call me by my name again," she replied.

"Then I will do it for you. I will continue to call you by your name, if that's your wish!" he quickly answered.

"Then you will be charged with treason[2]. Even if you do it out of love for me, the world will still call it treason. So now you ask me, why did I change? Because I had to! Because the moment that I became the Queen, I became Silla and you ceased to be who you were to me! You became nothing more than an influential vassal. And I, as your ruler, must constantly assess your motives and actions. I must always be suspicious of you, because I must always wonder if you would be just another Mishil!" When she turned to face him, her cheeks were drenched with unheeded tears. Her eyes were tender and sad when she spoke again.

"But, Bidam, do you have any idea how hard that is for me? Do you know how painful that is? Do you even realize how much I want to trust you, how much I want to depend on you, how much I long for you to comfort me?"

He felt the pain in her voice and had started to reach for her but his own emotions were in such turmoil that he did not know what to say or how to respond to her of what to do, he abruptly turned and walked away from her. He walked away not because he wanted to but because he could not do anything for her now. Not until he found refuge for his own troubled soul.

The Queen sadly followed Bidam's retreating frame, her heart torn between disappointment and another, more powerful emotion that she refused to name. Reluctantly, she turned away from the now empty lane leading away from the palace and sought solace in the scenery before her.

A gentle breeze caressed the smooth surface of the lake, the soft current slowly twirling the floating lilies in a gentle dance. The Queen looked sadly at this simple spectacle, silently wishing that her life could be as easy, that she could just go along with the ripples of history. But then, she had chosen this life, hadn't she? She had chosen to give up the simple life and become the ruler of Silla. Once, there was someone who was willing to give up everything he had, everything he was, just to be with her, to live an ordinary life with her. But she had refused and had chosen to serve her country instead. So now that she had achieved that, why was she feeling so conflicted?

 _Yushin, was I wrong in refusing you?_ She asked herself. _Was I wrong in choosing Silla over the life you had offered me? Was I really ready for this?_

She had refused to leave Seorabol in order to wrest Silla away from the clutches of Lady Mishil. It was a long and difficult road but she had been able to triumph in the end. She had done everything in her power to regain the political influence that the royal family had lost and she had sacrificed her own happiness, her right to her own life, in the pursuit of such lofty ideals. And so now, must she make the same sacrifice again?

It seemed ironic that the only person who can grant her what she now desperately needed was Mishil's own son, the son she had abandoned as a baby, the son who grew up under Geokseun Munno's strict rules, not knowing who he really was, the son who eventually chose to love and devote himself to his mother's nemesis.

 _Bidam, I will always be grateful for your devotion but I cannot give you what you want. Just like Yushin, you must remain by my side because the kingdom needs you, nothing more._ The Queen sighed, the burden inside her heart feeling heavier by the minute. _But if that was the only reason, then why do I feel so miserable?_

The Queen ignored the hot tears flowing down her cheeks. She had kept her emotions locked inside for so long that she felt relieved at letting go of them at last. Then she remembered how she had never been afraid to show her emotions to Bidam. With him, she never had to hide her tears, never had to suppress her laughter, never had to act like a princess. With him, she never had to pretend to be strong, never had to hide from the truth. With him, she could always be herself.

And just like that, she knew. She knew and she had always known the real reason for her attachment to Bidam. She was just too stubborn, too afraid to admit it to herself. Politics had nothing to do with her desire to keep him close! All through the years she had convinced herself that the reason she had refused to send him to the battlefront, in spite of his being the best swordsman and the most cunning strategist in the land, was that she needed his brilliant mind, his exceptional tactics, and his unparalleled dedication to aiding her in her everyday decisions. But what she really needed from him was the emotional contentment that only he could give. She could not send him away because she could not bear to be apart from him even for a day. And now she knew why.

 _I love him! I've always loved him!_

* * *

[1] It was prophesied that all Seongeoll (sacred bone) male seeds would dry up, ending the royal lineage, if the King had twins.

[2] It was considered treason to call the King or Queen by their given names. They should be addressed only as His or Her Majesty. Sovereigns are given their temple names only after their death and upon internment.


	4. I - Ch 3 Love and Hate

**PART I**

 **Chapter 3. Love and Hate**

Dazed and confused, Bidam slowly walked towards his mother's shrine to seek solace. Upon entering the quiet structure he lit a few candles and sat down before Lady Mishil's painted image. He had long ago come to terms with her abandonment, had even forgiven her and understood her motives for doing so, and he had already made her peace with her. In fact, he felt closer to her now than when she was alive. The instructions she left for him with Gen. Seolwon, her second husband, was enough to heal the emotional wounds that she had inflicted on him. Strange as it may seem, considering how she never really acknowledged him publicly, that last message bound him to her and her legacy. His newfound bond with the mother he barely knew had given him the strength to deal with his disappointments and he would often come here when events became too unbearable for he always found peace in her presence. And so now when his emotions were warring with his intellect, he sat before her image and tried to search for the answers he could not find within himself.

He felt confused and bewildered by the words of Her Majesty. He did not know what to think or how to digest the Queen's revelation. _What does she really want from me? Is she telling me that I am too dangerous to keep around her, that unlike before I bring nothing but pain to her now? What must I do? What if she asks me to leave her?_

"Bidam."

The sound of the Queen's voice startled him. She had never entered his mother's shrine before and he felt that only a very urgent matter could have brought her into this place which he knew she abhorred. He quickly rose to greet her but he could not look directly at her, afraid that he would find the answers in her eyes.

"Your Majesty," he said, bowing before her in formal greeting.

The Queen did not move and remained rooted at the foot of the dais. Her heart was pounding inside her chest, unsure if she was doing the right thing.

"I want you to stay with me, be the one who's always at my side," she said.

Bidam suddenly looked up, surprised by the Queen's words. He did not want to think ahead of himself and unduly raise his hopes up for he could not work out what the Queen really meant; if it was personal or just political. He was still trying to unravel her meaning when he noticed that her hands were tightly clenched at her sides, an indication that she was desperately trying to control them from shaking. It was a clear sign of her distress and he felt his heart go out to her. This time, however, he did not hesitate and came immediately to her. He took her shaking hands and gently rubbed them the way that he used to. It always helped to calm and comfort her.

The Queen looked at their clasped hands and finally, she said what her heart had long wanted to say.

"I need someone who will not be like everyone else, not a mere subject who will make me more nervous and lonely. I need someone who will hold my hands when they're shaking, someone who will calm the demons inside me. And you must be the one to do it for me. I need the Bidam who used to wink at me whenever I'm nervous, the old Bidam who used to tease me and make me laugh whenever I'm sad. The Bidam I knew who constantly worried about me and brought me comfort. I need you, Bidam." _In more ways than you'll ever know._

Bidam looked up and saw her sad eyes, pleading for understanding.

"I tried so hard to stop it. I purposely suppressed my feelings because I thought that such frivolity does not suit a ruler. But the harder I tried, the more difficult it has become and now I can no longer deny it," she said, "You're the only one who continued to treat me like a human being and not just a symbol of this nation. You're the only one who loved me as a person, as a woman; and I love you for that. I just am not so sure if I should or if I am allowed to do that."

Bidam's heart pounded against his chest, bursting with ecstasy for these were the very words he so longed to hear from her. He looked into her eyes and saw the sincerity of her words. Slowly, tentatively, he pulled the Queen closer to him and held her tight. He was pleased when she did not push him away but instead returned his embrace with a fervour that allayed all his fears.

The following day, the Queen summoned all courtiers and ministers to a meeting. She informed them that she had several announcements to make. The war with Baekje was not progressing favourably. Their troops were still fighting to save the kingdom and, if possible, regain their stolen lands. It was imperative, therefore, to strengthen their military presence at the front.

After greeting the assembled men, she took the scroll placed before her and read,"By royal decree, I am replacing Lord Yong Chun as Sangdaedung[1] and appointing Lord Bidam to take his place. Since we are still at war, I also order the troops under Lords Jujin, Sueulbu, Ho Jae, Hwang Yun & Seon Yeol to be transferred to the Board of Military Affairs under the direct supervision of the Prime Minister."

The gathered Lords gasped collectively in surprise. Lord Yong Chun stood speechless while a shocked Lord Chun Chu stared at his aunt in disbelief.

The Queen put down the parchment and looked up at the gathered assembly.

"In light of our conflict with Baekje, I, together with His Excellency, Sangdaedung Bidam, will remain in Seorabol to give moral support to our troops and continue overseeing our war efforts."

Bidam solemnly bowed to the Queen and thanked her for her magnanimity and smiled inside. Although the Queen did not approve his contingency plan he was still satisfied, not really with his new appointment, but with the Queen's outright show of confidence in his ability to protect her even within the capital and the threat of invasion.

After the Queen dismissed the assembly, Lords Yong Chun and Chun Chu sought an audience with the Queen in her private chambers. Her Majesty knew that Lord Chun Chu was not happy with her recent decision and had anticipated his reaction. The stubborn set of his lips told her that he would not let this matter slide so easily. She let him sulk in silence and turned to Lord Yong Chun, her late sister's brother-in-law, instead. Although she felt guilty for deposing one of her long-standing supporters she felt certain that he, being an experienced politician, would see the logic of her actions.

"Lord Yong Chun, I apologise for removing you from your post as Sangdaedung."

"I understand, Your Majesty. We are at war and we need more men. There would be less resistance from the Lords by putting the private troops under Lord Bidam's command. Please do not worry about me. I will continue to support your every effort to end this war," Yong Chun said.

"I'm glad you see my point," the Queen replied, relieved that she had not been wrong in her assessment of the older man.

"Do you really trust Bidam?" Chun Chu blurted out, unable to restrain his irritation.

"Yes I do," she answered quietly.

Chun Chu turned away, his disgusted look betraying his vehement aversion for Bidam.

"And I do believe in Yushin, Bidam and you. I believe in all of you and in your abilities and I will not abandon either Yushin or Bidam. I will not give up on anyone, not even you. You should realise, Lord ChunChu, that the ruler must give as much consideration in gaining and retaining his people as much as he does in conquering entire nations."

Lord Chun Chu remained silent, but in his heart, his seething resentment for Bidam, son of Mishil, the woman who caused his mother's death, was growing magnificently by the minute.

* * *

[1] Prime Minister, 2nd highest political position in Silla, entitled to succeed the throne should there be no direct heir available


	5. I - Ch 4 The Queen's Decision

**PART I**

 **Chapter 4. The Queen's Decision**

An hour before midnight, as most lamps were quietly extinguished to give in to the quiet sleep provided by the last hour of eventide, a solitary figure can be seen slowly walking on the road towards the Royal Palace. Bidam looked at the two scrolls in his hand and smiled,

 _I am doing the right thing_. _This will put her mind at ease._

When he arrived at the Palace he was immediately admitted in spite of the late hour. He then asked the Royal Household Guard to announce him to the Queen. He found Her Majesty still seated at her desk, not even divested of her Royal vestments, poring over several books.

After greeting the Queen formally, he sat before her and presented the two rolls of parchment to her. The Queen slowly read the document and looked up at him, obviously dumbfounded by what she had read.

"Did you write this yourself?" she asked, her eyes betraying her amazement.

"Yes, Your Majesty. It is my covenant with you," Bidam said, smiling at her bewildered expression. "It simply states that should Her Majesty leave this world before I do, I, Bidam, will relinquish all my political offices and leave the secular world to devote my remaining days in tonsure, looking after your memorial," he replied, a soft smile etched on his handsome face.

"Bidam!" the Queen exclaimed, her heart pounding in her chest, desperately wanting to believe the truth of his words. _Is this true? Will he really give up everything when I'm gone? Is it possible?_

"We will each have a copy. Just in case you're unable to make its contents public then I will be able to present this to the courts in due time,"

The Queen,unsure on how to react, stared at Bidam, a slight frown creasing her brow. She wanted to put her arms around him and thank him for such a noble gesture yet her inability to fathom Bidam's intentions restrained her from doing so.

"Why are you doing this?" the Queen asked him instead.

"Well, this is what you've been worried about, isn't it? That I'm only seeking to gain more power through you? But, for someone like me, it's really not a hard thing to do. My devotion for you and this nation are one and the same and should you leave this world before me, then this whole kingdom will lose its meaning for me. What importance will any government position or political office have to me after you're gone?" he said. _You are my world, Deokman. Without you, I will cease to exist!_

"Bidam!" the Queen exclaimed, overwhelmed by Bidam's effusive declaration.

"I will do everything in my power to fulfill this oath. I will do this for Your Majesty's and this nation's sake. I, Bidam, swear this on my life." Bidam said.

The Queen looked at him, stunned speechless by his sworn oath.

Bidam then gave the Queen a copy and retained the other one for himself, unaware that such a well-meaning document will set off a deadly chain of events that will ultimately seal their fates.

A few days after Bidam's secret oath, while the Queen was in conference with Lords Yong Chun, Mi Saeng, Seo Hyeon and the newly-appointed Sangdaedung Bidam discussing the situation with Baekje, a breathless Lord Al Cheon, Her Majesty's personal aide and protector, came bursting through the Queen's chambers; his pleased expression a manifestation of the good news he was bringing.

"Your Majesty, the 'Yushin Army' led by Chief Marshall Kim Yushin had successfully subdued the advancing Baekje armies and had regained control of Iseo Gun and Chu Wa Gun," Chief Al Cheon said.

Yong Chun immediately congratulated the Queen on their troops' victory. "Your Majesty, it seems that with this victory the worst is over."

"Yes, it seems like it," the Queen replied, pleased with the news herself.

"What about Daeya fortress? Have we recovered it?" Bidam anxiously asked. He still hasn't gotten over the fact that his oversight in taking Yushin's intelligence report seriously had been instrumental in the fall of their once-impenetrable fortress.

"Our forces haven't reached Daeya fortress yet but they have already set-up camp at the eastern front and are presently preparing to lay siege on the Baekje defense line," Al Cheon replied.

Although Bidam quickly acknowledged the news the Queen had already seen the apprehension on his face. She knew that it would be the one mistake that he would always lament mainly because he had let his personal feelings cloud his otherwise keen and perceptive mind. The rivalry, both politically and personally, between Yushin and Bidam, had become one of her many predicaments and she knew that she had to put a stop to it before it escalated any further. She hoped that the announcement she intended to make during the welcome reception for the returning troops would settle that matter and give Bidam the assurance that she knew, he so desperately needed.

"Well, then, let us prepare to congratulate our victorious troops. Lord Alcheon, please instruct the Royal Kitchens to prepare a welcome feast for our men. It's time that we celebrate the end of this war" the Queen said, trying to lighten the tense atmosphere in the chambers.

"Yes, Your Majesty," a smiling Alcheon replied. He bowed and hurriedly left to carry out the Queen's instructions.

Three days later, after receiving word of the quick approach of the victorious troops, the whole of Seorabol was in a light and festive mood, feverishly preparing for the grand welcome arranged for them. News of the Yushin Army's triumph had spread and the people excitedly awaited the appearance of the returning victors. The marketplace and town square were strewn with flowers and ribbons everywhere in anticipation of the arrival of the Silla troops. Even the palace was not immune to the high spirits that permeated the entire city. The whole court was in attendance, literally buzzing with excitement, while the Queen silently sat on her throne, waiting patiently for the troops' arrival.

After a triumphant parade through the city Yushin and his men reached the palace and entered the assembly hall, battle-weary yet exhilarated by their success. The Queen rose to greet Chief Marshall Kim Yushin and his subordinate, the former Gaya prince and restoration movement leader, Lord Wolya.

"Your Majesty, Chief Marshal Kim Yushin, returns after fulfilling his mission," Yushin said. Both he and Wolya went down on one knee before the Queen to formally salute her.

"Chief Marshal, you have proven once again your unparalleled battle skills by rescuing our nation from the Baekje invaders. By Royal decree, you will be granted the territory of Eui Gok for your outstanding efforts." The Queen said, smiling benevolently at Lord Yushin.

"I am overwhelmed by Your Majesty's magnanimity," Yushin replied, bowing before Her Majesty.

"To your subordinate, Lord Wolya, whose efforts are also beyond reproach, I grant him a permanent position in the Board so that he will be able to assist Chief Marshal Kim Yushin in the strengthening of our armies."

"I am overwhelmed by Your Majesty's magnanimity," replied Lord Wolya, bowing before the Queen.

After giving Her Majesty a final formal bow, the two men rose and stood amongst the other court members to listen to the Queen speak.

"Ever since I came into power I have always believed that safeguarding our people's livelihood was the key to our dream of unification and that's why our efforts were mostly focused on increasing the number of farmers who owned lands. Because of this, the development of our military power had been marginalized. Baekje, on the other hand, had devoted all efforts to increasing their military power. I, therefore, acknowledge the fact that my oversight had been partly responsible for this war.

However, I stand by my belief that even in war it is the people who enjoy more stability and prosperity who will triumph in the end. And so, though we must still continue to support our people in gaining their own lands, from now on we will turn our attention to strengthening our military. The number of troops will be increased and we will reduce the manufacturing of farming implements and allocated a greater percentage of our steel in the production of weaponry. I am confident that we will easily overtake the military advancements of Baekje if we continue on this path," the Queen paused, silently preparing for her more important announcements.

"And since we are now on a constant war footing, I also decree that the troops under the command of the Sangdaedung be placed under the Military Board where they will be retained as reserve Special Forces."

The court suddenly broke into a violent babble of voices; murmurs of dissent and outright outrage were heard from different factions. Lord Jujin, unable to contain himself came forward and voiced his disagreement.

"But Your Majesty, those troops are currently training under the Sangdaedung's supervision!"

The other Lords nodded, voicing their agreement and some even suggested that the troops be retained under the Sangdaedung's command and be recalled by the Military Board only when a new emergency arose. Their arguments were cut short when Bidam stepped forward to address the court.

"Our Heavenly Kingdom is in a state of crisis! We must do whatever it takes to protect our beloved nation," he said, his irritation at their stubbornness barely contained. He gave them all a severe look and challenged them to refute his words. No one dared to defy him, however, and all protestations slowly died down. He then turned to address the Queen as the court looked on quietly.

"Your Majesty, I will immediately transfer all the troops under my command to the Board and will personally re-shuffle their ranks," Bidam said and after formally bowing to the Queen returned to his appointed place.

The Queen nodded in agreement, thankful that Bidam had stepped in to quell the objections of the Lords.

"Since that is all settled, I have one final announcement to make," she paused and looked at all the assembly before her. They all looked up to listen, apprehension now clearly written on their faces.

"I will be holding royal nuptials, soon," she said.

The whole court immediately went into another uproar. She saw the shocked expressions on Lords Chun Chu, Yong Chun, and Seo Hyeon. Yushin refused to look at her and remained staring at the floor but his pale face told her that he, too, was shaken by her announcement. It was Lord Yong Chun who posed the question that everyone in the court was dying to ask.

"Your Majesty, when you said royal nuptials…with..with whom?" Lord Yong Chun stammered.

The Queen looked out to all of them and with all the confidence she could muster said in a clear, determined voice:

"Sangdaedung Lord Bidam."


	6. I - Ch 5 Aftermath

**PART I**

 **Chapter 5. Aftermath**

News of the Queen's forthcoming marriage to Lord Bidam elicited different reactions from the power circles within the Palace. In Yushin's camp, his parents, Lord Seo Hyeon and Lady Mangmyeong conveyed to Lord Yong Chun their apprehension about the effect that Her Majesty's marriage would have on the line of succession to the throne. Lords Mi Saeng, Ha Jong, Jujin and Bo Jong at Bidam's camp were also quite ambivalent about the Queen's announcement. Lord Mi Saeng feared that, although Lord Bidam would have more political influence than Yushin after the wedding, he feared that the Queen had something up her sleeve; that she would somehow be gaining something more significant with her marriage to Bidam. He further went on to say that Her Majesty never gave out anything without getting something better in return. What she intended to gain with this union would, therefore, determine if Lord Bidam's marriage to Her Majesty would be beneficial or detrimental to their camp.

The one who was most affected by the Queen's decision was her nephew, Lord Chun Chu. He still couldn't believe the fact that the Queen had made such a monumental decision without even telling him. His personal assistant, Jukbang, immediately came to him after hearing the news.

"Lord Chun Chu! Is it true that the Queen announced to the court that she will be marrying Lord Bidam?" Jukbang asked, disbelief written on his lined face. Chun-chu did not answer.

"Lord Bidam? Aigoo! Why of all people did she choose Lord Bidam? Did she tell you about this?" Jukbang sighed and slumped on the nearest chair, still unable to believe the Queen's decision.

When Chun Chu remained silent in spite of his prodding, Jukbang concluded that Her Majesty's announcement had also caught the young royal by surprise. He understood the apprehension that the young lord was feeling. The royal wedding would upset the natural line of succession and would make Lord Bidam Chun Chu's prime rival to the throne.

"Do not concern yourself, My Lord. I'm sure that the Queen has her reasons for doing it," the older man tried to assure his young charge.

"Yes, and it's THAT reason that really concerns me," Chun Chu finally said.

"Why did you say that, my Lord? Actually, come to think of it, the Queen's decision was quite brilliant. She had taken away the other lords' private troops and placed them all under the Sovereign's command plus she was able to placate Lord Bidam, thereby eliminating two birds with one stone! You must admit, that wasn't an easy feat!"

"If her marriage was only made for political reasons, then I would not be worried. However, I feel that there is something more to it than that. I think that Her Majesty and Lord Bidam really are in love." Chun Chu answered, his brows knotted in deep thought.

"Well, we can't expect Her Majesty to devote her entire life to politics and the kingdom. She is still human, after all," Jukbang replied.

"But can a ruler really do that? Can a ruler really make decisions based on their feelings alone? Do you think the people around them will let them live happily ever after?" Chun Chu said, his dismay evident in his tone.

Jukbang saw the truth in the young man's words. Even if Lord Bidam and Her Majesty really did love each other, and were not doing this for political reasons it would be hard for them to extricate themselves from the political consequences of their marriage. They each have their own spheres of influence, which, unfortunately, are constantly pulling each other in opposite directions.

"I fear that Her Majesty and Bidam had entered into a very dangerous liaison." Chun Chu said, his clouded look striking an icy blow at Jukbang's heart.

As the Queen looked down at the quiet city below, hundreds of tiny lights flickered from the windows of the houses and buildings that lined the streets, like a sea of fireflies dancing in the dark night. Intermittent sounds of shuffling feet and muffled voices drifted with the cool night wind, the only sounds left as the normally bustling Capitol prepared to rest its weary soul. _The worst is over, my dear Silla. You can sleep peacefully tonight_ , she thought. The sound of familiar footsteps made her turn towards its approaching owner.

"I knew it was you," she said, smiling at Yushin.

"Your Majesty," Yushin said, smiling back at his long-time friend.

"What brings you here at this late hour?" she asked.

"I wanted to congratulate you."

The Queen smiled within herself and turned back to gaze at the peaceful city below as she pondered on her erstwhile ally, her most trusted friend from youth. She knew that he was not entirely telling the truth. She could always tell when he was hiding something from her.

"Aren't you disappointed?"

"I am disappointed," Yushin answered. _I am hurting._

The Queen looked up as she sensed a certain unspoken emotion in his words. She then turned to look at him. When she saw the blank expression on his face she knew that Yushin was desperately trying to hide his true sentiments.

"Are you not worried that Lord Bidam will be more influential than you after the wedding?" she asked.

"I am worried." He answered. _I am worried for you._

"And still you congratulate me? Why?"

"Yes, Your Majesty, I do congratulate you because finally, you will have someone who can give you refuge, someone who will give you comfort and support. You will finally have what I could not give you. Even when you risked your own life to rescue me from the Bogyahoe, still I was not able to give you what you really needed. I apologize, Your Majesty," he said _._

 _I apologize for not telling you how much I wanted to hold you in my arms, then, when you stood bravely defending me against my accusers. I apologize for not telling you how much I wanted to be with you then. And even now…after all these years, after everything that has happened…_

The Queen did not speak but her eyes betrayed the conflicting emotions that also plagued her. They looked at each other in silence, both remembering an almost forgotten night in the distant past that would have changed the course of their lives had things been done differently. Although they were just an arm's length apart, the silence between them felt like a widening chasm threatening to pull them farther apart.

"I really am happy for the both of you, Your Majesty," he said at last and bowed to bid her goodnight. He turned away from the Queen, from the woman who still held his heart captive, and walked out into the cold night, silently nursing his pain in his own way.

 _Soon, you too will belong to someone else, just as I do…but I will still be here for you, My Queen…for as long as my heart beats in my body, I will be your servant._

Just a short distance away, Bidam sat looking up at the night sky, still reeling from the day's events. Everything felt like a dream and he dreaded the moment that he would wake up and realize that none of it had really happened. It was only when people started to approach him and congratulate him that the reality of his situation had finally sunk in; he really was getting married to the Queen! She had finally made her choice and she chose him! Deokman would finally be his!

At this very moment, his heart felt like it would burst from the happiness and pride that he felt. Earlier that day, though, he was teetering between elation and skepticism for he was shocked by the Queen's announcement as his fellow courtiers were. The Queen never made her intentions plain and because of the conflict that they had gone through these past few weeks, he had almost given up on her real feelings for him. Yet now, as he thought about it, he understood Her Majesty's reasons for keeping her plans a secret up to the last minute. She wanted to reduce the chances of anyone influencing her decision and by publicly announcing the wedding to the whole court had ensured that no one would be able to challenge it. Bidam felt that it was time that he visited her and thanked her for giving him what he desired the most, her trust. And even if she did not really love him now, he was sure it would change in time for he would do everything in his power to woo her.

He was already on his way to the Queen's private quarters when he spotted Yushin, walking slowly towards him, completely lost in thought. Judging by the direction from which he came, Bidam assumed that he had also visited Her Majesty. He felt a slight stirring of jealousy but mostly he felt apprehension in meeting the man he once called a friend. Over the years, the cold war between them brought forth by their rivalry for the Queen's affection and trust as well as the viciousness of palace politics, had reached a rather uncomfortable point and he could only guess at how the General had taken the news. He was about to call out to him when Yushin looked up and saw him. Slowly, they approached each other. Both remained silent for a while, unsure of what to say; both trying to gauge one another, each one trying to read the other's thoughts.

"Lord Bidam," Yushin finally said.

"Her Majesty still has more confidence in you," Bidam said, smiling.

"In an official capacity, maybe; but now, you are the one who will be constantly by her side, the one who must console her, give her refuge," Yushin said. "You are the one who must embrace her and bring her comfort. Do your best to deserve her. You must never let your devotion to her cause her pain or sadness. Do you understand?" Yushin said, his eyes boring into Bidam's.

"Yes, I understand completely," Bidam replied. He noted the subtle but clear warning in the other man's tone, but surprisingly, he did not take offense. He actually understood the General's concern for the Queen. He, after all, knew the Queen since childhood and had probably nursed the same tender feelings for the Queen far longer than Bidam ever did.

 _Don't worry, Yushin. I intend to give her everything that you were unable to give her and even more. My life now belongs to her._

Yushin nodded, sure that the other man caught the gist of his intentions.

 _I will hold you to your word and should you fail to live up to it, I will never forgive you._

He started to walk away when he stopped in his tracks and turned back to Bidam. "By the way," he said. "Congratulations."

Bidam just smiled and nodded.


	7. I - Ch 6 Politics and Personal Desires

**PART I**

 **Chapter 6. Of Politics and Personal Desires**

Several days after the Queen's announcement of her wedding to Bidam, the Queen sent a personal summons to her nephew Lord Chun Chu. That night she went for a lengthened walk in the gardens to clear her mind before her meeting with the young man. When the Queen finally returned to her chambers she was pleased to find her nephew already waiting for her. Their relationship had been quite strange after her announcement and she was quite surprised when the young royal refrained from voicing his opinion. She had actually expected to be locked in debate with him for days over that matter. The only indication of his disapproval of the match was his unusually cold treatment of her. And that, plus the fact that her young nephew had the quickest and shrewdest mind she had ever seen in Silla, was the reason why she personally asked for his presence. She wanted to make things better between the two of them by revealing a secret that had been weighing down on her. She was glad that the young man immediately agreed to meet with her in spite of his bitterness at her approaching wedding.

The young man rose from his seat when she entered the room and formally bowed before her in greeting. As soon as they were seated, she showed him a copy of Bidam's covenant. Chun Chu slowly read the document, going over it a second and then a third time. Finally, he handed the scroll back to Her Majesty, satisfied that it was a legitimate document, free from any hidden artifice.

"Well, what do you think?" the Queen asked.

"I'm sure it was done in all sincerity. I think he really means to go through with this in due time. However," he paused, and looked at the Queen, trying to gauge her reaction.

"Yes?" the Queen asked evenly, trying hard to conceal the wild thumping of her heart.

"We must remember that he is now a very powerful political figure, with his own sphere of influence. And after the wedding, he would be the second most powerful person in the land, second only to you. Even if he wanted to fulfill his oath, will his followers let him do so? Will they allow him to give up his power?"

"So?" the Queen asked, her heart now beating a painful tattoo inside her chest.

"You must remember, Your Majesty, that personal desires and politics are not good bedfellows," Chun Chu said, his cynical smile belying his age.

The Queen nodded. It was for this reason that she had decided to show the document to Chun Chu. She had come to admire the cunning mind of his young nephew. He can, somehow, look beyond mere appearances and uncover the most concealed subterfuges. His quick wit and, sometimes, brutal frankness had been proven invaluable time and again. And now, he had just validated the doubts that had been troubling her mind ever since Bidam had given her that parchment. Chun Chu had just confirmed that she had done the most logical action she could take to protect the throne. She sighed, resigned to the painful games of fate, and slowly took out a red silk envelope, the envelope that contained a secret so deadly that it could only be entrusted to a member of the royal family. Chun Chu was surprised when she handed it to him; the red envelope was synonymous to a sentence of death.

"Please read it," the Queen instructed a confused Chun Chu. Reluctantly, he took out the parchment and silently read the Queen's order written in her own handwriting. When he finished reading it he could not help but look up at the Queen in shock and utter disbelief.

"What does this mean? Are you serious about this?" he asked.

"I was afraid that I would not be able to do it later, so I'm giving it to you now before I change my mind," the Queen said.

"But, why resort to this?" he asked, incredulous at the Queen's daring in issuing such a dangerous edict.

"Because I must protect the throne at all cost. No one, not Yushin nor Bidam, must ever take control of Silla. You are the only one who must continue our legacy. And so, please take this edict and make sure that you carry it out when the time comes," the Queen said, looking down at her slightly trembling hands.

Chun Chu found it hard to believe that the Queen would have the constitution to issue such an order but he understood her motivation just the same. This edict had proven that she was, first and foremost, a ruler who took her responsibilities seriously - capable of making the hardest decisions for her people, and most importantly, herself.

"In spite everything, I cannot give him up. And so, dear nephew, I seek not your opinion or even your judgment, all I ask from you is your understanding and forgiveness," the Queen said, her eyes brimming with unshed tears.

For the first time, Chun Chu felt pity for this strong and extraordinary woman whom he had come to respect and admire and, sometimes, even fear.

* * *

All was quiet within the Palace when a late night visitor of the Queen came knocking at the royal chambers the following night. The Palace guard immediately admitted Bidam to the Queen's quarters and he felt a quickening in his pulse as he lightly knocked on the royal bedchamber's door and announced his presence.

"Your Majesty, it is I," he said.

He quickly slid the door when he heard the Queen acknowledge him. He was not surprised when he found her sitting at her desk still at work, an assortment of scrolls and parchments scattered before her. She did not look up when he entered but continued writing her notes on her pad. She looked much younger with her long hair down, unmade and devoid of all trimmings save for a small pin that held it away from her face. Although she was already dressed in her nightclothes she did not seem ready for bed yet as she kept on scribbling and looking over the documents spread before her. Bidam couldn't help but smile at the tenacity of the woman he so deeply loved.

"I knew you would be doing this," he sighed.

"Doing what?" she answered, still bent over her writing.

"Working," he said, chuckling. This time she looked up and smiled sheepishly at him, like a child caught doing something mischievous.

"This won't do. Come on, Your Majesty, you need to get some rest" he said. He took her hand and led her to the bed. He fluffed up her pillow and turned down the bedcovers. He then gestured for Her Majesty to get into the bed.

"Please, Your Majesty," he said. The Queen smiled and obliged him. He sat beside her and tucked her in.

"Go to sleep. You also need to rest, you know," he said. The Queen sighed and sat back up, impatiently brushing a lock of hair that fell into her eyes.

"Actually, I can't sleep. Oh, by the way, do you mind my talking to you so casually? Would you rather that I use a more formal tone?" the Queen said, her impish grin giving evidence to the woman/child within as if challenging him to rebuke her. Bidam smiled, here was the young Deokman he remembered well, playful yet spirited, entirely unencumbered by the trappings of her high station.

"No, I don't mind at all. But tell me, why can't you sleep?" he asked.

"I don't know. It's just that when I lie down, my heart starts beating faster and I get restless and uneasy. I always feel like I'd forgotten something important or that I had made a mistake or overlooked something, and then the tears would come and my heart would suddenly feel constricted, making it hard to breathe," she said.

"Please lie down," Bidam said and waited for the Queen to settle herself on her pillows. He then pulled up the thick blankets over her and placed his palm on her chest, patting it softly, like a mother lulling her child to sleep.

"Is it still throbbing now?" Bidam asked.

"No," she said, smiling up at him. It amazed her how this man, her soon-to-be husband, could always calm her down with just a simple touch.

"I will stay here until you fall asleep. Please get some rest now." Bidam soothingly said as he looked down on Her Majesty with soft and gentle eyes.

"When I was young, my heart also raced whenever I went to bed,"

"Were you anxious even then?" he asked, encouraging her, wanting to know more about her childhood experiences.

"No. Back then, it was excitement that kept me up. I always wondered what adventures I would have the next day, what kind of people I would meet and what fantastic things the merchants would bring. I really should ask Cartan Ahyeosshi about DolGul…" she said, her eyes slowly closing of their own accord, her mind quietly drifting off to sleep.

Bidam looked down at the Queen's sleeping face and his heart swelled with affection for her.

 _I will always be here for you, My Queen. From now on, your heart will no longer be troubled. Sleep now, my Deokman, soon I will no longer have to leave your side._

He bent down and kissed her brow softly, not caring whether it was forbidden or not. _Thank you for accepting me and for trusting me._

Putting her hand on her chest he got up, leaving the sleeping Queen to her dreams. He still had something important to do – now – before he changed his mind.


	8. I - Ch 7 A Brewing Storm

**PART I**

 **Chapter 7. A Brewing Storm**

The torch lights on the street corners coupled with the thin fog that had come to kiss the ground gave the deserted road an almost surreal feel. It suited Bidam's mood very well for he felt like he was walking in dreamland at the moment, doing something he never even imagined he would do. He looked down at the box he was carrying and strangely, he did not feel any regret in parting with it.

 _It's time that I give you up; time to give up my aspirations for the glory that would last a thousand years for I have found something better than any have already caused me too much pain, as it is; it's time you met your true owner._

Upon reaching the gates of a large compound, he asked the guard to announce his presence. The guard promptly returned to escort him inside. Once inside, Bidam found the owner sitting at the receiving area already waiting for him.

"Bidam, what brings you here at this late hour? Has something happened at the Palace ?" Yushin asked, anxiety clearly etched on his face.

"No. I just came by to give you something," Bidam said. _Before I lose my resolve._

"What is it?" Yushin asked, still unsure about Bidam's purpose. Bidam unceremoniously handed over the large box to him.

"Open it," he said. Yushin removed the cloth wrapping around the box and opened its lid. He could not hide his astonishment as he took out the bound volumes of parchment. Quickly, he scanned each one, his excitement growing by each turn.

"This is amazing! The Geography of the Three Kingdoms! How did you come into possession of such treasure?" Yushin exclaimed.

"It's yours. My master wanted you to have it," Bidam said, smiling at Yushin's almost childlike enthusiasm. He felt relieved that he had finally made the right decision.

"Geokseon Munno? He wanted me to have these?" Yushin asked, unable to believe Bidam's declaration.

"The Master thought that your lifelong mission would be the unification of the three kingdoms, so, well, this would surely help you with that," Bidam said.

"But are you really giving this to me? Why?" asked Yushin, his voice betraying the tiny flicker of suspicion that he could not dismiss lightly.

Bidam hesitated."Well, actually, it's a bribe, to ensure your support when the time comes."

"Well, then, even if it's a bribe, I will still accept it with utmost gratitude," Yushin said, smiling, relieved to see a trace of the old friend he had in Bidam, always thinking two steps ahead of the adversary.

"Well, that's it then. I leave you to your reading. Learn from it and use it well." Bidam said.

"My thanks again, Bidam," Yushin said.

Bidam nodded and got up, leaving a thoroughly engrossed Yushin perusing the books again.

 _The Master knew. You really are like a knight on the chessboard of history, something I would never be and that's why he wanted you to have it. Funny how things finally find their rightful place in the end._

* * *

Yeomjong, unusually dressed for travel at such a time, frantically paced the floor, impatiently awaiting the arrival of the other lords to the emergency meeting he had called. He wouldn't have bothered them at such an unholy hour but the discovery he had made was so serious in nature that he could not risk delaying its revelation any further.

Earlier that day, he had come to the Prime Minister's quarters to speak with him about his trip the next day when he noticed that the box containing the Geography of the Three Kingdoms was not in its rightful place. Yeomjong had a sense of ownership on the compilation since it was he who funded the late Munno's endeavor. The great master would not have been able to realize his dream had it not been for Yeomjong's aid and support. So when he found out that Munno was about to turn it over to Yushin he arranged for the assassination of the Geokseon in order to wrest the Geography from him. He had been successful in killing Munno and sequestering the Geography as well, but Bidam found out and had gone on a killing spree to avenge his master and regain the Geography. It was during that time that the Sandaedung almost killed him had he not cut a deal by assuring the man that he would be a valuable asset to him and that he would gain more from him alive than dead.

They had formed a strange yet beneficial alliance since then but the Geography remained with Bidam. Yeomjong, however, still remained attached to the compilation. And so when he learned that Bidam had taken it without informing him he immediately went to the Sangdaedung's office to confront him. Upon learning that the Sangdaedung was not there and had left no instructions on his return, he decided to search for the books himself. What he found instead was a document that shocked him senseless. Fear, anger, and desperation drove him to seek out the other members of their faction even at this late hour. His reverie was interrupted when one of his servants informed him that the lords had already gathered in the receiving hall. Yeomjong left his room and hastily went out to meet them.

"Is everyone present?" he asked nervously, suddenly unsure of how to break the news to the men of higher stations before him.

The others, in different states of undress and wakefulness, looked up at him, not too happy about being summoned by this underling. Lord Mi Saeng was the first to voice his grievance.

"What's this all about, Yeomjong! Didn't you know that Her Majesty had instructed me to meet with the Tang envoys tomorrow at Dang Hang fortress? This better be important or, I swear, I'll have your hide!" Mi Saeng said, glaring at him.

"Oh, it is important alright. And it's only because I have to leave early tomorrow morning myself that I decided to call you all here tonight," Yeomjong explained.

"Well, what's this all about then?" Lord Jujin asked.

"Behind the royal wedding is a secret oath between Her Majesty and Lord Bidam," Yeomjong said.

His audience looked up in unison, the sleepy look on their faces instantly replaced by curiosity and suspicion.

"What? What secret oath?" Lord Ha Jong, Bidam's eldest half-brother asked.

Yeomjong took out the scroll and gave it to Lord Mi Saeng, Mishil's younger brother, and Bidam's cunning uncle. He unrolled the scroll and read its contents, his face getting redder with each word. Finally, he threw the scroll away in disgust. Lord Jujin, a former commander of the Northern troops who was once instrumental in the Queen's triumph over Lady Mishil, immediately picked it up and read it himself. He closed his eyes, unable to believe what he had just read and silently passed the scroll to Lord Seulbu.

"Well, what does it say?" Lord Ha Jong asked, unable to contain his curiosity.

"It states that Lord Bidam swears to give up all his political offices and court appointments in the event of Her Majesty's death," Yeomjong explained.

Gasps and muted curses were heard from amongst the other members. They all knew the implication of such an agreement - Bidam was abandoning them. Their disbelief turned into rage when they realized all their wasted efforts if Bidam went through with this agreement.

"He can't do this! What would happen to us?" an infuriated Lord Seulbu said.

"Poor Lord Bidam, once again, he had fallen for Her Majesty's brilliant scheme," Lord Mi Saeng said, shaking his head.

"Why did you say that?" Ha Jong asked.

"Isn't it obvious? She had this planned from the very start! She tricked him! Didn't I tell you that Her Majesty would never give anything so willingly without getting something in return?" Mi Saeng answered vehemently.

"Then, we must confront Lord Bidam immediately," Lord Seulbu said.

"And what good would that do?" Yeomjong asked.

"We should tell Lord Bidam that we cannot accept this! He must retract this oath!" Lord Jujin said.

"Ha! Do you think Lord Bidam would choose you over Her Majesty? Would he give her up? Would he give up the royal nuptials for us? You know how long he had had his eyes set on the Queen! The fact that he did this in secret only shows us where his loyalty truly lies!" Yeomjong said.

"Well, what should we do then?" Lord Bo Jong, son of Lady Mishil and Lord Seolwon, asked.

"We have to make him join our cause, see things our way," Lord Jujin said.

"It's time that we take matters into our own hands," Yeomjong said.

"Yes, and I think I have an idea how to do it," said Lord Mi Saeng, his lips twisting into a lopsided smile.

They all turned to him in tense-filled anticipation, every one of them praying that Lord Mi Saeng really had a foolproof way to save them all.


	9. I - Ch8 Dirty Tactics

**PART I**

 **Chapter 8. Dirty Tactics**

The Palace is in chaos. The emissary sent by the Tang Emperor to discuss trade with Silla had earlier blatantly insulted the Queen in front of the whole court. The envoy declared that the reason why Silla was being constantly attacked by the neighboring kingdoms was because they had a female ruler. Their Emperor, in his desire to help the tiny kingdom of Silla, was willing to send a male relative of his to be proclaimed king and would send thirty thousand troops to protect the kingdom. Outraged, the Queen immediately instructedChief Al Cheon to detain the envoys at JoWon Palace while they confirmed the veracity of their claims. The Queen said that should their claims be proven false, they would be immediately beheaded but if they were proven true then Silla would cease all trade with the Tang. After the Tang entourage was secured under heavy guard at Jo Won Palace Her Majesty called Yushin, Yong Chun, Seo Hyeon and Chun Chu to an emergency meeting at the Palace.

The air in the Queen's chambers is heavy with suppressed indignation and incredulity. The Queen's inner circle sat in silent foreboding, unable to voice their thoughts in fear of letting loose a barrage of crude expletives unsuitable to their station. Never in their lives have they witnessed such barefaced hostility against a Sovereign and they couldn't help but feel a deep sympathy for Her Majesty. The Queen sat quietly at the head of the table, her blank face masking the fury she felt.

"Lord Chun Chu, tell our emissary in Sui to verify the claims of the Tang envoys. If what they say is true, I want you to immediately stop all trade negotiations with them," the Queen said.

"Yes, Your Majesty," answered Chun Chu.

"What about our request for reinforcements from the Tang?" asked Yushin.

"We must still continue with it until we receive word from our Sui emissary," she answered.

"I still can't understand how they could have challenged Her Majesty in front of the whole court. Is that part of their negotiation tactics?" asked Yong Chun.

"There are three fundamental rules in negotiation: first is to act with a detachment to threats; second, is to never deny your opponent's accusations, and third is to always give your opponent the benefit of the doubt. In a diplomatic parley, one must never say more than what one actually means. In the case of the Tang envoys, however, they openly threatened and insulted the Queen in front of her subjects which leads me to believe that they have something else in mind," the Queen said.

The others looked at her thoughtfully, each one trying to grasp her meaning. The Queen looked up when Al Cheon entered.

"Your Majesty, the envoys are now confined in Jo Won Palace under heavy guard. I have instructed all my men to never let anyone in, regardless of rank," Al Cheon said. The Queen nodded and motioned Chief Al Cheon to take a seat.

"What should we do while we await the confirmation from our Sui emissary, Your Majesty?" Lord Seo Hyeon asked.

"We must wait for them to make the first move. I am sure that they are now confounded and afraid. They surely did not count on this happening to them," answered Yushin. Yong Chun and Chun Chu nodded in agreement.

"Lord Al Cheon, I want you to instruct your men to accept any bribes from the Tang envoys," the Queen said. Lord Al Cheon looked up in surprise, uncertain of the Queen's intention.

"I am sure that they will try to communicate with someone inside or outside the palace so tell your men to just bring to you whatever they want to be transmitted, then have them sent to me," the Queen continued.

"Yes, Your Majesty," said Al Cheon, finally understanding the Queen's intention. They had to catch the conspirators red-handed to circumvent any cries of denial from them.

"Yes, they would probably try to get in touch with the other Sui merchants in Silla. We must observe them and make sure that we learn of their intentions," said Chun Chu.

"How long should we detain them, Your Majesty?" Yong Chun asked.

"Until they make a move; I'm sure we won't have long to wait," the Queen replied.

* * *

A furious Bidam glowered at the gathered men before had summoned him to an urgent meeting the day after Her Majesty had sequestered the Tang envoys in Jo Won Palace. It was only then that he learned of their devious machinations. He could not believe their audacity in perpetuating their own plans behind his back and he would have remained ignorant of their latest scheme had the Queen reacted differently to the Tang envoys' threats.

Last night, due to the instigation of Lord Mi Saeng, they staged a desperate attempt to salvage their thwarted plan with the Tang envoys and had attempted to secretly meet with them. They eventually gave up when they realized that they had no chance of infiltrating the place as Jo Won Palace was heavily guarded by Chief Al Cheon himself and his loyal troops. As their brilliant plan slowly unraveled before their eyes they found no other alternative but to admit their dilemma to Bidam himself in the hopes that he would save them from the Queen's wrath. They had to admit that they had underestimated Her Majesty and had failed to anticipate her reaction. Although they knew that they had inadvertently put their leader in a compromising position they felt no remorse for no matter how disastrous their strategy turned out to be, in their minds they believed that it was Bidam who had pushed them to resort to such a desperate move.

"Are you telling me that the Tang envoys acted that way towards Her Majesty because of that secret agreement that you had made with them?" Bidam asked, turning a jaundiced eye towards each man quietly seated before him.

"Yes. We told them that we would support their campaign against Goguryeo if they discredit Her Majesty and insist that she step down from the throne," Jujin replied.

"And what made you do such a thing?" Bidam asked, glaring at them.

"You, My Lord," said Seulbu, his quiet voice belying the vehemence that he felt within.

"Me? I never told you that I wanted Her Majesty to step down!Have you all gone mad?" he said, incredulous.

"Yes. But we know of your secret oath to Her Majesty," Yeomjong said.

Bidam looked up, shocked and horrified by what Yeomjong had said. _How did he know about it?_ And all at once, he knew. _He had read the scroll! He was the one who opened the chest!_

Two nights ago, on the night that he went to see Yushin give him the Geography of the Three Kingdoms, he came back to his chambers to find his personal chest unlocked. Since nothing went missing, he dismissed the matter offhand, thinking that he had just forgotten to lock it before leaving. Yet he could not put it out of mind entirely since he had the nagging feeling that something was not right. And now he knew that his gut feeling was right.

"How can you do this to us, Lord Bidam? We entrusted you with everything!" a furious Lord Ho Jae said.

"We were instrumental in helping Her Majesty to the throne but look at where we are now. She deprived us of our own troops to strengthen the royal armies,"Jujin said. When Lady Mishil staged her coup against the Royal Family of Silla, Lord Jujin brought his troops to the capital to support the King and the then Princess Deokman. It became the turning point of that coup and prevented war from erupting as the other lords then turned their backs on Lady Mishil and followed Lord Jujin in support of the Royal Family. When the conflict with Goguryeo started, the Queen sequestered their troops and brought them under the command of the Royal Army.

"And so, you resort to this dirty tactic, without my permission?" countered Bidam.

"Would you have let us do what we just did? It just seemed to us that we no longer share the same goals," said Mi Saeng, warily gauging his nephew's reaction. Lord Bidam had always been known for his explosive temper and even more so, his cold and sometimes brutal way of dealing with traitorous subordinates.

"Why can't you just trust me?" Bidam asked, trying to calm his followers.

"And are you worthy of that trust, my Lord?" Seulbu said, emboldened by Lord Bidam's seeming lack of violent reaction to the situation. "You're promising to Her Majesty something as monumental as this, this so-called covenant, behind our backs, tells us otherwise."

Frustrated, Bidam closed his eyes and tried to calm himself. He felt like he could slaughter them all, right this very minute if their insipid scheme jeopardized his impending marriage to the Queen. He took a deep breath and decided to address the immediate problem at hand. They will be dealt with later, at his own first, he had to pacify them before he could think of a way to put an end to their ridiculous ambitions.

"So, what do you want me to do now?" he asked, apparently resigned to his fate.

"We have no way of knowing how the Tang envoys would react to this. We must know what they are planning, how they intend to get out of this complication. They must never be allowed to speak directly to Her Majesty again," Mi Saeng said.

"And once Her Majesty gets wind of your agreement with the envoys, then," Yeomjong shrugged, purposely leaving Bidam to formulate his own conclusion.

It was all Bidam could do to hold in the violence brewing inside him. He grabbed Yeomjong by the throat and screamed, fury contorting his face, "YOUR agreement with them; which YOU sent in MY name!"

 _I really should have killed you a long time ago, scum!_

"How can you betray me like this?" Bidam asked. He let go of Yeomjong's throat and pushed him away.

"You betrayed us first, my Lord," Lord Jujin quietly said.

"Now, you have no other choice but to join our cause," Ho Jae said.

"You've always wanted to be king, anyway, right? This is our chance to put you on the throne," Ha Jong interjected.

"We will support you if you decide to wrest the throne from Her Majesty. We're ready," Bo Jong assured their leader. The others nodded in agreement.

"Yes, it's only a matter of time before she found out about the fan, and when she does, it would be all the evidence she needed to charge you with high treason," Hwang Yun said.

"Besides, it's too late now. Do you think Her Majesty would still forgive you if she found out about your alleged involvement in this travesty?" Yeomjong said, further baiting his cornered superior.

Bidam felt the bile rising in his throat as he tried to think of a way to salvage his relationship with the Queen.

 _This can't be happening! It can't end like this! I have to do something!_


	10. I - Ch 9 A Question of Trust

**PART I**

 **A Question of Trust**

As Bidam wrestled with a solution to his problem, the Tang envoys had apparently grown restless in their confinement as evidenced by the report Chief Al Cheon delivered to the Queen the very next day. The Queen, Yushin and Chun Chu looked on as he placed before them the few items that the Tang envoys had bribed Al Cheon's men to secret out of the Palace.

"Your Majesty, as you have expected, they bribed the men to deliver these items. Here is a letter that they wanted to be delivered to a merchant named Fudon," Al Cheon said handing over a letter to the Queen. She took it and passed it on to Chun Chu who perused it immediately.

"A man from the envoys' entourage named Ji Wen was asking for Hwang Yun," he said, handing over another envelope. Al Cheon then took an exquisite fan made of raven feathers and gave it to Her Majesty.

"The chief envoy wanted to have this delivered to the Sangdaedung. He said that it's a gift," he said. The Queen took the fan and looked at it, puzzled.

"It's obviously a bribe, seeing as it looks quite luxurious," said Yushin.

"It's not as expensive at it looks. It's an Ouseun, a fan made of raven feathers, quite ordinary. The more costly ones are usually made of peacock or stork feathers," said Chun Chu. He was casually looking at the fan when a sudden thought occurred to him.

"May I take a look at it, Your Majesty," he asked the Queen.

TheQueen handed the fan to him, curious of her nephew's sudden interest. Chun Chu turned it over several times, then, convinced that he was right asked the Queen if he could try something to confirm his theory. The Queen agreed and instructed him to proceed as necessary. Chun Chu then called out to one of the palace maids and asked for a steaming bowl of hot water and a piece of clean, white cloth. After receiving what he had asked for, he proceeded with his experiment. He placed the fan over the steaming hot water, turning it over a few times. Afterward, he pressed the feathers on the white cloth. A few seconds passed before the fan revealed its secret. The Queen, Al Cheon, and Yushin were astonished when words started to form on the cloth. Yushin, unable to contain his curiosity grabbed the cloth and read the writing imprinted on it.

"'The Tang envoys must announce the unfeasibility of a female ruler and will suggest the abdication of the Queen in front of the Silla court. In return, Silla will send thirty-thousand troops to Sui territory to support the Tang in their war efforts against Goguryeo…'" Yushin hesitated after reading the next words and looked at the Queen. Chun Chu took the cloth from him and read the last remaining words.

"'Tang emissary, Su Ji Yan, Silla Sangdaedung Bidam'," Chun Chu read, stammering.

The Queen felt her heart stop at the mention of Bidam's name. _Bidam? Why?_ She grabbed the cloth from Chun Chu and read the writing herself. Her hands shook as her mind reeled from the implication of the fan's secret treaty. She couldn't believe that Bidam would perpetrate such a cowardly act after she had just committed herself to marrying him.

"Your Majesty, this is high treason!" Chun Chu cried furiously,"He is using the Tang emperor's words to gain the throne!"

"We must not jump to conclusions," the Queen calmly said, trying to placate her agitated nephew.

"Jump to conclusions? His name is clearly written on this agreement. Isn't it clear that he has no intention of honoring his so-called covenant? He promises to relinquish his powers yet he's plotting to harm you behind your back!" Chun Chu retorted, his face now red with anger.

"Chun Chu," Yushin calmly said, hoping to pacify the young royal.

The Queen remained silent and quietly lay down the piece of cloth on the table, still lost in thought.

"He must be charged with treason and tried for his crimes!" Chun Chu insisted.

"Don't let your anger blind you, Chun Chu," the Queen said, no longer able to control her growing irritation at the young man's persistence.

Chun Chu hastily stood up and stormed out of the room, clearly upset and frustrated with the Queen's adamant refusal to listen to his arguments.

"Chun Chu!" Yushin called out. Both he and Al Cheon got up and chased after the young man. They caught up with him just before he left the Palace grounds.

"Lord Chun Chu, you shouldn't have acted so rashly," Yushin said.

"Yes, I'm sure Her Majesty only wanted to make a wise decision regarding Bidam," Al Cheon said.

Chun Chu was about to reply when one of Al Cheon's guards came running to seek an audience with the Chief.

"Lord Al Cheon, I just came from Jo Won Palace. Lord Bidam is insisting on meeting with the chief Tang envoy. I told him that I would have to ask your permission first," the guard said.

"Is he still there?" Al Cheon asked.

"Yes, sir. He said he'll await your reply," answered the guard. Al Cheon was about to instruct the guard to refuse Bidam's request when Chun Chu stopped him.

"Allow him to meet with the envoys," Chun Chu said.

Three pairs of eyes turned to him, unsure of what to make of his instruction. It was in direct defiance of Her Majesty's order that no one, regardless or rank, must be allowed to meet with the envoys.

"Are you sure about this? Shouldn't we inform Her Majesty first?" Yushin asked.

"Yes, Lord Chun Chu. What are you trying to do?" asked Al Cheon.

"Just helping Her Majesty make a wise decision," Chun Chu replied.

* * *

Upon the guard's return, Bidam was immediately granted an audience with the Tang envoys. Although he still fumed at the idiocy of his men he knew that he had to deal with the Tang envoys himself in order to salvage his relationship with Her Majesty. As he was not fully aware of what the agreement with the Tang envoys really entailed he had to muster whatever cunning he had in reserve to persuade, if not force, the envoys to abandon their secret agreement with Lord Mi Saeng, who he learned was the one who instigated the negotiations with the Tang.

Before entering the envoy's chambers he took a deep breath to calm his frayed nerves. He knew that he must appear nonchalant enough so as not to arouse suspicion. With an air of bravado that he hardly felt, he entered the room and nodded at the two envoys. He took the seat opposite the chief envoy who looked at him with barely hidden dismay.

"Chief emissary, I believe that we need to discuss the reason for your confinement," he said, addressing the seated man before him. Su Ji Yan looked up hopefully.

"Yes, I believe there has been some confusion here. I was led to believe that you hold the balance of power in your hands and that you would be able to ensure the abdication of Her Majesty," the chief emissary replied.

"Then I regret that you had been misinformed. I am only a servant of Silla and hold no sway in the major decisions affecting her sovereignty," Bidam replied with a mocking smile.

Su Ji Yan looked at his colleague, visibly shaken by Bidam's statement.

"Then, Her Majesty is still in full control of the Palace? She doesn't depend on you for guidance?" the chief emissary stuttered.

Bidam smiled and slowly shook his head. "I assure you, Her Majesty is in full control of Silla and she does not need to depend on me, or anyone, for guidance," he said.

The two men paled, the realization that their lives fully depended on Her Majesty's mercy bearing down on their troubled minds.

"I apologize for the misunderstanding. I had never given any of my men authority to enter into any transaction in my name. Now, I believe you have something that belongs to me. I would like to take it back before it incriminates the two of you," Bidam said, his heart beating a painful tattoo in his chest. _I must have it before it implicates me, too._

"What do you mean, take it back? Is this some kind of joke? First, you go back on your word, now, you are asking for something I had already given to you?" the chief emissary said incredulously.

Bidam froze, goose bumps forming on the back of his neck and arms as the possibility that the fan had already been intercepted flashed through his mind.

"What do you mean 'something already given'? Are you saying that you already sent the fan to me?" he said, fear clouding his vision.

"I sent it to you yesterday when you failed to even assure us of our fate. We were confused and we needed to see you so we bribed one of the guards to smuggle if out of here and send it to you!" Su Ji Yan replied, his irritation and confusion evident in his voice.

Bidam felt like he was falling down a steep and rocky crevasse, the darkness closing around him, his chest slowly being crushed as the pressure of the airless tunnel enveloped him.

After he had composed himself had recovered from his initial shock from Su Ji Yan's revelation he decided to do a little investigating himself. The Jo Won Palace guards were reluctant in giving him information but he was still able to track down the guard who allegedly agreed to deliver the Ouseun to him. He got hold of the culprit and cornered him into revealing what he knew, threatening him with both physical harm and banishment from the Palace.

"To whom did you send the fan?" Bidam asked with a voice laced with venom.

The man,although evidently nervous, refused to answer. Frustrated by his lack of cooperation Bidam quickly drew the guard's own sword and placed it against the man's throat.

"Tell me, who did you give the fan to?" snarling malevolently at the beleaguered guard.

"To the Sangdaedung," the guard replied.

"Liar! I did not receive it. So tell me, should I slit your throat first?" Bidam leaned forward as he pressed the sword even higher against the man's throat.

"Her Majesty! I sent the fan to Her Majesty!" cried the terrified man.

"What did you say?" Beads of cold sweat broke out on his forehead as the implication of the guard's words penetrated his confused mind.

"I sent the fan to Her Majesty. We were instructed to send anything the Tang envoys wanted to be secreted out of Jo Won Palace directly to Her Majesty," the guard answered.

Bidam felt his heart stop after hearing the man. He was too late! The Ouseun had already reached Her Majesty and it's only a matter of time before she deciphered its concealed message. Bidam pushed the man away and ran out of the Palace grounds, unsure of where to go. His whole body was shaking from the terror that tightly gripped his heart.

 _What must I do now? Will she believe me if I told her the truth? That I had nothing to do with it?_ He couldn't believe what was happening. _Why must it end this way?_ He must not let this ruin his relationship with Her Majesty. _Was she able to decipher the message? What would she think if she found out?_ His hands trembled from the conflicting emotions he felt. He never feared anything, until now. He did not fear losing everything he had worked for, not even of losing his life if it came to that; what he feared most was losing the only person he had ever loved, losing Her Majesty like this would be worse than any punishment. He cursed his followers and racked his brains for a solution.

Eventually, after forcing himself to calm his ragged nerves, he made up his mind. _I will go to her and tell her the truth. If I have to face her wrath, then so be it._ He thought of his traitorous minions. _Damn them all to hell!_ He said to himself and hurriedly made his way to the Palace, aware that he could very well be walking to his own death.


	11. I - Ch 10 Reprieve

**PART I**

 **Chapter 9. Reprieve**

The Queen was surprised when Chun Chu, Al Cheon, and Yushin came back to her chambers. She was even more surprised by her nephew's news.

"Your Majesty, we have been informed that Lord Bidam went to Jo Won Palace to meet with the chief envoy," Chun Chu said.

"What? Is this true, Chief Al Cheon?" asked the Queen.

"Yes, Your Majesty. One of my men came to me and informed me that His Excellency had been insisting on seeing Su Ji Yan," answered Al Cheon.

"Then, why did you let him? Did I not give specific instructions that no one, regardless of rank, must be allowed to meet with them?" she asked.

"I gave permission," said Chun Chu.

"Why?" the Queen asked.

"To help you decide. Doesn't this prove his guilt?" Chun Chu replied.

The Queen glared at his nephew, irritated at the young man's insinuation that, when it involved Bidam, she was incapable of remaining impartial. Just as Her Majesty was contemplating on how to reprimand her ward the Palace guard announced Lord Bidam's request for an audience. The three men looked at the Queen, awaiting her reply. The Queen remained silent as she tried to contemplate on how to handle what was fast becoming a very volatile situation.

"Your Majesty," Yushin said, breaking the tense silence inside the chamber.

"I will personally deal with him, Your Majesty," Al Cheon volunteered as he started to rise.

The Queen did not answer, clearly debating with herself. Al Cheon stood up to confront Bidam himself when the Queen abruptly spoke and stopped him.

"No, let him enter," she said.

Al Cheon was about to advise the Queen otherwise but upon seeing her clouded expression thought better of it and reluctantly commanded the guard to admit the Sangdaedung. Chun Chu smiled smugly, sure that Her Majesty was already convinced of Bidam's treachery and would finally accuse him of treason. Yushin, on the other hand, remained silent, evidently apprehensive about Her Majesty's intentions.

Bidam briskly walked in. He stopped in his tracks when he saw the three men in attendance. He had hoped to speak with Her Majesty alone and cursed himself for not having the foresight to ask the guard if she had any company before having his presence announced. Now, it was too late to back out. Whatever he had to say, he must contend himself with saying it in front of them all. He swallowed his remaining pride and took his appointed seat at the left hand side of the air was thick with unspoken tension and Bidam could tell that they already knew of his forced meeting with the Tang envoy, if not the deadly message concealed by the Ouseun. He wanted to blurt out the truth but he did not know where to begin. Beads of sweat formed on his forehead when the Queen casually took the Ouseun and presented it to him.

"The chief envoy, Su Ji Yan, wanted you to have this," she said. Bidam could feel all eyes on him, watching his every move.

"I think they are trying to bribe you. They obviously want to get your support in ousting.."

"Your Majesty," Bidam said, interrupting the Queen.

"Yes?" she asked. _Dare I hope that he is innocent?_

"It contains a secret agreement," Bidam said in a rush. Al Cheon and Yushin looked up in surprise, completely taken aback by Bidam's nonchalant admission of the traitorous covenant. Chun Chu was struck speechless, his mouth left hanging open with incredulity.

"What?" the Queen asked. _Please have a feasible explanation to all these!_

"Lords Mi Saeng, Seulbu, Jujin, all of them, they all found out about my plan to relinquish my political appointments if you ever pass away before me," he said. The surprised look on Al Cheon and Yushin's face told him that they were not aware of his pledge to the Queen. "They were the ones who instigated this secret agreement with the Tang envoys. They made it in my name, without my consent."

"Are you saying that you did not even have any idea about this…this so-called secret agreement?" Chun Chu asked, his face no longer hiding his hostility towards Bidam.

"Yes," Bidam answered quietly, unperturbed by the younger man's threatening mien.

"Are you now trying to cover your tracks and save your skin? Do you expect us to believe that you have nothing to do with this act of treason?" Chun Chu said, challenging him. Al Cheon and Yushin remained quiet, keenly observing Bidam's reaction.

"That is correct," Bidam calmly replied, refusing to be drawn into the young man's argument.

"This is ridiculous! Do you expect us to believe your lies?" Chun Chu retorted, his cheeks now reddening with anger.

"I believe him," Her Majesty calmly declared.

They all looked at her in utter amazement. Even Bidam turned to look at her, stunned, not really sure about what he had just heard.

"Your Majesty!" Chun Chu cried, shocked by his aunt's open support of Bidam.

"Yes, I believe him and I do not doubt his sincerity," she said. "However, the fact that your men have been able to perpetrate something as despicable as this behind your back tells me that you no longer have full control of them."

"Yes, Your Majesty. I apologize for my oversight" Bidam answered, his shoulders slumping in relief. _I still have a chance to make things right!_

"Apologize? Do you think that is enough to make up for your 'oversight'? This is treason!" Chun Chu said, sarcasm heavy on his voice.

"Lord Chun Chu!" Yushin said, stunned by the young man's audacity.

"What do you intend to do about them?" the Queen asked Bidam, purposely ignoring her nephew's outburst.

"Your Majesty, I swear to personally deal with them. I will make sure that this never happens again. Please entrust this matter to your humble servant," Bidam replied.

"Then, I hold you to your word, Lord Bidam."

"Thank you, Your Majesty," _I promise I will take care of this, My Queen, just as long as I don't lose you! I will abandon them all for your sake!_

Bidam left the Palace in high spirits. He did not expect the outcome of her meeting with the Queen and he felt like a condemned man reprieved from death. Although he knew that he had to keep to his promise and deal with his men as soon as possible he still felt elated by Her Majesty's demonstration of complete trust and support for him. His elation was a bit dampened when he caught sight of Lords Mi Saeng, Ha Jong and Bo Jong awaiting him not far from the Palace. Their sudden appearance at the Palace gates confirmed his doubts that they were having him followed. A plan on how to deal with them was already forming inside his mind so he just took a deep breath and slowly walked towards them. He must not reveal what really transpired at the Palace but he must keep them contented enough for it to work.

"Lord Bidam, what urgent business could have brought you to the Palace?" Mi Saeng asked.

"You did not confess to Her Majesty, did you?" Ha Jong asked nervously, worried that Bidam had finally jumped the fence and abandoned them all.

Bidam did not reply and just looked blankly at his men, his face inscrutable.

"Ah! He must have explained himself to Her Majesty, calmed her restless curiosity and all, right?" said Mi Saeng, laughing nervously while his eyes shrewdly studied Bidam's reaction.

"Tell all the men to gather at the headquarters for a meeting. Now!" Bidam said. The three men almost jumped at his command and hurriedly left to assemble the other members of their team.

Bidam smirked as he stared at their retreating figures, pleased by their obvious discomfort and anxiety.

 _That's it, you bastards! Suffer the way you made me suffer!_ Swea _t it out and suffer! This is nothing compared to what I have planned for you!_

He chuckled softly to himself and unhurriedly followed his errant men.

When he reached their headquarters he found them huddled together, listening quietly as Lord Mi Saeng nervously recounted their encounter with Bidam outside the Palace. They hurriedly went back to their seats when they saw him enter the room. Bidam silently sat at the head of the table and leaned back, his eyes roaming down its length, satisfied with the apprehensive expression on his men's faces.

 _Let them sweat some more._

In the end, it was Lord Ha Jong, impatient as ever, who broke the silence.

"Well, what happened? Did you talk to Her Majesty?" he asked.

Bidam just stared back at him, silent.

"Tell us what Her Majesty said?" Lord Suelbeu asked.

"She has the Ouseun," Bidam replied.

They all gasped at his reply. Lord Mi Saeng slumped in his chair, his brain scrambling for every possible scenario.

"What? So, are they going to arrest us now?" Ha Jong cried, worrying the front of his vestments.

"What did she say about the secret treaty with the Tang envoys? Did you deny it?" Yeomjong asked.

They all started to question him all the same time when Bidam slammed his fist on the table to command silence.

"Her Majesty indeed has the Ouseun but she does not have any idea about the treaty. She thinks that it's a bribe from the chief envoy to ensure my cooperation in dethroning her," Bidam quietly said.

One by one the men sighed and slumped in their seats, relieved.A spattering of quiet laughter was heard as each one gave way to their pent-up tension. Bidam felt it was time to start his own drama.

"Yes, Her Majesty has no idea about the real intent of the fan. She still has full confidence in me," he said, smiling at them.

"Good! Good!" Mi Saeng said. The others joined him in his approval, nodding their heads and smiling back at their leader.

"However, I am displeased by what had happened. How could you have made such a move without consulting me? I had everything under control!" Bidam said.

A sudden tension rose like a barrier between him and his followers.

"It did not seem that way to us. We were afraid that you had already forgotten our real intentions," Lord Jujin said.

"You're the one who made a secret covenant with Her Majesty! What did you expect us to do?" said Ha Jong. The others nodded in agreement.

Bidam laughed derisively.

"Did you think that a mere parchment could stop me from getting what I want? A mere piece of paper that I could destroy anytime I want? Did you even consider that I could have done it to placate Her Majesty?"

"And what if you're only saying that to placate us?" Yeomjong asked.

"If you can't trust me then find someone else to lead you! I would happily relinquish our alliance. But until such time, you will do as I say!" Bidam replied, unable to contain his contempt. "Let this serve as a warning to all of you. Never, ever, interfere again. And don't ever pull out a stunt like this again or I will kill each and every one of you with my own hands! Is that clear?"

He looked at his followers, his eyes conveying the gravity of his command. They all looked down and nodded in assent. Bidam,however, sensed the thinly veiled resentment in their mutinous silence. He knew that it would take more than blatant threats to subdue and keep them in line. He had to make his move, _soon_ , before he totally lost control of his restless allies, before they dragged him down with all of them and ruined his chance of ever marrying Deokman!


	12. I - Ch 11 Sacrifice

**PART I**

 **Chapter 11. Sacrifice**

Several weeks had passed uneventfully, and the Palace was able to breathe a sigh of relief at the easing of tension with the Tang envoys. The Queen eventually sent the envoys home with a very stern warning that this was the last time the Kingdom of Silla would welcome them to its borders, not until the Emperor himself dealt with his wayward ambassadors. The Palace was quietly but busily making preparations for the Queen's forthcoming wedding when an unmanned, ancient boat had mysteriously docked at Gurahwa County. Upon further investigation, it was learned that the boat was practically empty of cargo except for a single, ancient sealed box. The box, in turn, held only a single document allegedly written by King Ashoka, the Great. It prophesied that the rightful ruler of Silla was Shinguk Hojejon which, when interpreted, turned out to be a direct reference to Bidam.

Sensing the possibility that this was a hoax and another attempt at discrediting the Sangdaedung, the Queen had ordered the boat to be thoroughly inspected. Lord Chun Chu, now with an ax to grind with Bidam personally went to Gurahwa County to oversee the investigation himself. He and his team of experienced investigators were able to uncover the origin of the boat and they tracked down the master boat maker who allegedly conspired to fabricate this magnificent replica of the ancient boat. Chun Chu reluctantly admitted that it was just as the Queen had suspected, the boat was a fake.

They already had the boat maker in custody and were taking him back to the Palace for further questioning when they were attacked by armed men, apparently intent on silencing the captured boatmaker. During the commotion, an arrow hit Lord Chun Chu in his arm. The boatmaker was not so lucky however, he received an arrow to the heart and died instantly.

Upon learning of the attack, the Queen personally went to see Chun Chu in his chambers. She found him resting in his bed, looking wan, mostly from shock than from loss of blood. The doctor had assured the Queen that the wound was far from fatal and would mend well in time.

"Chun Chu, how are you feeling?" the Queen asked, her concern for her nephew evident on her face as she took a seat beside the bed. Chun Chu made to rise but the Queen motioned for him to remain in his bed.

"More shocked than hurt, I guess," was Chun Chu's reply, smiling self-consciously at his aunt.

"Did you see the men who tried to kill you?"

Chun Chu was stunned by the Queen's question.

"I don't think they were after me, Your Majesty. It was an accident. There were arrows flying everywhere. I was just unlucky enough to get hit. They were clearly after the boatmaker. He took an arrow to the heart. They obviously did not want him to live and tell tales."

He saw the Queen looking thoughtfully at him, and he instantly knew that she was not convinced that he was accidentally shot. Fear crept into his heart at the realization that if she was right, then he was not unlucky to be accidentally hit, quite the opposite really. He was lucky not to have been fatally hit.

"Your Majesty, is there something wrong?" he asked when he found the Queen still lost in thought.

"It was not an accident, Chun Chu. That arrow was meant for you," she said, her voice cold and full of pent-up rage.

"But why did they kill the boatmaker?"

"The boatmaker was the diversion. They were really after you."

"But we do not have any proof of that."

"We do not need any proof. The attack was deliberate and made to a member of the royal family. A crime punishable by death," the Queen answered, her face stony and resolute.

Slowly, Chun Chu understood what the Queen was trying to tell him. She would use this incident to go after those who perpetrated this fake prophesy but she would make sure that they answered not only for the crime of fraud but for something more serious and punishable by death. She knew who the culprits were and she would do everything in her power to expose them. And she was after blood.

Later, Lord Chun Chu learned from Jukbang that when the Queen returned to the Palace she had immediately ordered all the nobles and courtiers called an emergency meeting. Her Majesty had also ordered Lord Yong Chun to conduct a thorough investigation on the Gurahwa incident, instructing him to use everything at his disposal to expose the culprits behind this unforgivable act of treason.

Although satisfied that Her Majesty had finally decided to purge Bidam's treacherous followers he was disappointed when he learned that the Sangdaedeung was not present during the meeting.

Frustrated by Her Majesty's continued protection of Bidam,Chun Chu decided to take action and confront Bidam asked Jukbang to prepare his men and head out to Bidam's house. They were immediately received by an accommodating though thoroughly surprised Sangdaedung.

"Lord Chun Chu, I am glad that you were not seriously harmed during the attack at Gurahwa county," Bidam said, genuinely concerned for the young royal who used to be under his tutelage.

"Were you not the one who ordered the assassination attempt on me?" Chun Chu said, closely observing Bidam's reaction.

Bidam was surprised by his blatant accusation.

"It seems only natural, isn't it? Your mother, Mishil, had my mother killed and now her son is trying to do the same to me. Do you think I would just sit idly by and let it happen again?" Lord Chun Chu, his voice betraying the hatred he'd long held in check.

"I don't know what you mean, Lord Chun Chu. How could I even conjure up such a dastardly act?" Bidam replied, trying hard to control his own outrage.

"I know of your secret covenant with Her Majesty. It seems like it's not going to work, though," he said. Bidam did not reply, but he saw the astonishment that crept into his eyes.

"Well, then, should we just talk like we used to, without the formalities?" Chun Chu said, smiling at Bidam.

Bidam nodded in confirmation.

"You know, I have a secret. Should I tell you what it is?" he asked.

Bidam just stared at Chun Chu, confused and unsure of the young royal's intentions.

"My secret is this: My mind is quick but my body is slow and clumsy. That's why people often think that I am simple-minded and stupid. But the truth is, I analyze everything and I never ignore the small details. For example, did you ever wonder why Donaembo Rang[1] disappeared?" he said, smiling impishly at Bidam.

Bidam wondered if it was a genuine question or an implied threat. He just looked at Chun Chu and remained silent.

Chun Chu smiled, sure that no answer from the other man would be forthcoming. "Well then, thank you for a very interesting conversation, Lord Bidam," he said and prepared to leave.

Bidam shook his head, bewildered by the young man's actions. "You really have matured a lot. I remember the time when you used to tremble at the mere sight of me," Bidam said, laughing quietly.

Chun Chu sat back on his chair and faced Bidam, smiling.

"Yes. You were once quite an intimidating figure." he agreed.

"Why?" Bidam asked.

"Well, because back then, it was hard to guess your next move. You were mysterious and unpredictable. Naturally, fear followed for isn't it true that fear is the by-product of the unknown? But somehow, you have lost your edge. You have become transparent and I can read you like a book," Chun Chu said, the thinly-veiled resentment evident in his tone.

"What did you say?"

"You have become blinded by love! You have failed to see the threat your followers posed on you and you have failed to control them!You have lost your focus because of your frantic devotion for Her Majesty! Why, did you really think that Her Majesty has feelings for you?"

Bidam was stunned and left speechless, his mind desperately trying to gauge the truth of the young man's words. He was so lost in his own chaotic thoughts that he did not even notice Chun Chu getting up and leaving the room.

After instructing his guards to take him back to the Palace, Chun Chu glanced back at Bidam's direction, somewhat saddened by his deed.

 _Forgive me, Bidam. I know that you had nothing to do with the Ashoka doctrine, nor was there any attempt on my life. I also know that you and Her Majesty have genuine feelings for each other. However, you are becoming too much of a hindrance to the aspirations of this nation so you and your followers must disappear. Your relationship withHer Majesty is too dangerous to leave alone. Forgive me, Bidam, but there really is no place in the pages of history for a man driven by love..._

* * *

[1] Lord Mi Saeng's son, responsible for the death of Chun Chu's mother, Princess Cheon Myeong


	13. I - Ch 12 The Wheels of Fate

**PART I**

 **Chapter 12. The Wheels of Fate**

The sun was beginning to set, its golden-red rays casting an almost ethereal glow on the placidLake. Dozens of pink lotuses and white lilies, their giant leaves spread like ruffled skirts, dotted the greenish water. The serene and tranquil scenery were in stark contrast with the troubled thoughts that plagued the Queen, who stood unmoving by the edge of the Lake, waiting.

Earlier, she had asked Al Cheon to discreetly tell Bidam not to attend the emergency court meeting and to bring him to her once it was over. She stood looking at the still waters, going over her plan for the hundredth time. She turned when she heard Bidam approach.

"Your Majesty," he said, greeting her with a somber smile. She smiled back.

"I know you had nothing to do with what happened to Chun Chu and I also know that you did not instigate the Ashoka doctrine," the Queen said.

"Your Majesty," Bidam said, surprised but thankful that the Queen still trusted him.

"You have failed, though. You were unable to control your followers,"

"Yes, I admit that it was my fault. Now there is nothing I can do for them. Please proceed with the investigation so that the truth will be uncovered and punishment will be meted out to all the guilty,"

"If I do that you will still be hurt. They will drag you down with them and you will still be held responsible for their crimes."

"Yes, I am aware of that. However, there is nothing else that I can do, so let me take full responsibility for their sins and punish me accordingly. I, your humble servant, am already prepared," Bidam said, the resignation in his voice apparent.

"You may be, but I am not," the Queen replied.

Bidam looked up, dumbfounded by Her Majesty's words.

"Your Majesty!"

The Queen just looked at him, her expression intense yet tender at the same time. She took out a ring, an exact replica of the one on her middle finger, and showed it to the Sangdaedung. She had it made the day she had decided to marry Bidam and had planned on giving it to him on their wedding day. Now that she would be sending him away, she wanted it to symbolize her promise and her devotion to him. She let it lay on her palm and offered it to Bidam.

"You and I, we haven't shared anything yet," the Queen said.

"Your Majesty, what is this supposed to mean? Are you trying to say goodbye to me?" he said.

"I am putting you in charge of our naval forces in Chu Wah Gun. You must leave immediately. I will deal with this problem myself and will send for you as soon as everything is settled. People may talk for a while but public sentiment is brief and fleeting and they will get over this, too." the Queen explained. She placed the ring on Bidam's palm and held his hand closed. _Let this be a symbol of my devotion to you,_ the Queen thought.

"Your Majesty," Bidam whispered, overwhelmed by the Queen's gesture.

"If you don't leave Seorabol you will be dragged into this mess by your followers. It will be best for you to be far away while I settle this myself."

The Queen saw the troubled expression on Bidam's face. She knew that he was afraid that she was sending him away for good.

"Don't you trust me?" the Queen asked.

Bidam looked at her and gave her a sad smile.

"You need not ask me that, Your Majesty. You know that I trust you," Bidam answered, his eyes searching her face for the truth. He recalled Chun Chu's words: _Did you really think that Her Majesty has feelings for you?_

"You must hurry and leave at once. I will send the formal order with the Department of Appointments in the morning" she said. She started to let go of Bidam's hand when he suddenly clutched her fingers.

The Queen knew that she would not be able to let him go if she held on so she slowly pulled her fingers away. Bidam was saddened by the Queen's action. He wanted to hold her close before he left and he was disappointed when the Queen pulled away. He looked at the ring and thought,

 _Is this goodbye, then? Will you really send for me once this is over?_

The Queen turned away from him and looked out into the placid lake. He knew that she would only push him away if he touched her again so he just turned and hurriedly left, the icy fingers of doubt slowly creeping down his back.

The Queen looked back at his retreating figure and whispered: _Bidam_ , _we must be apart for just a while. I promise I will take care of this and we'll be together soon after. Please be patient, my love._

* * *

After Bidam had left, the Queen called Yong Chun, Alcheon, Yushin, and Chun Chu to her chambers. She knew that the time had come to take action against Bidam's followers. They had already crossed the line and she had to put a stop to their schemes before they dragged Bidam down with them.

"It is about time that we put a stop to all these nonsense. I want them all arrested," she said.

"But we don't have any hard evidence against them. Everything is circumstantial," Yong Chun said.

"Do you think they will idly stand by while we gather enough evidence against them?" the Queen asked. The others nodded in agreement.

"Yes. We must act now before they get wind of it. I fear that they might go into hiding if we delay any further," Yushin said.

"But there are court members in their group, we have to move carefully," said Alcheon.

"Yes, we must act fast and covertly. Lord Al Cheon, gather all of your most trusted and most efficient men and have them report to the training hall within one hour. We must do it tonight," Yushin said.

"Yes, I understand," said Al Cheon.

"I will prepare the necessary documents, too," said Lord Yong Chun.

"And I will oversee the preparation of the other troops, just in case we need reinforcements," said Yushin, getting up together with Yong Chun and Al Cheon. The three men excused themselves and hurriedly left the room.

"What about Bidam?" Chun Chu asked.

"What about him?" the Queen answered.

"Why didn't you order his arrest?"

"We both know that he is innocent, he did not have anything to do with this."

"But he can no longer control his men and they are now being charged with treason. As their leader, shouldn't he face the same charges?" Chun Chu insisted.

"So you want me to put an innocent man to death?" the Queen asked.

"But we must take this opportunity to finally purge their group! They've been a thorn in our side for the longest time," said Chun Chu.

"Why are you so scared of him? Is it because he had become a rival to the throne? After tonight, Bidam will lose all his supporters, so how can he still be a threat to you?"

"But, he.."

"Give it a rest, Chun Chu. Do not make any move against him without my approval, is that understood?" the Queen said adamantly.

Although Chun Chu nodded in agreement, the Queen still felt uneasy for she did not miss the malicious smirk that crossed her young nephew's face.

* * *

Night had fallen yet Bidam still sat at his desk, staring at his reflection on the gilded plate. He was at a loss, conflicted between following the Queen's directive and pushing through with his plan. Even before the appearance of the Ashoka boat, he had already decided to deal with his faction on his own. He already had enough evidence to conclude that they were preparing for a coup. The clandestine training of mercenaries, together with the armaments and provisions that they had been hoarding the past few weeks without his approval had confirmed his suspicions. He had been able to secure Yushin's support and they were supposed to apprehend his rebellious followers incident at Chu Wha Gun, however, had put their plans awry. It became clear to him that they were now beyond his control and the only thing left to do was to eliminate them once and for all.

He recalled the Queen's words: "If you don't leave Seorabol you will be dragged into this mess by your followers. It would be best for you to be far away while I settle this myself." He wanted to believe that Her Majesty was only doing it to protect him yet Chunchu's words kept haunting him: 'Did you really think Her Majesty has feelings for you?'He shook his head and called for one of his servants.

"I will be leaving for Chu Wha County tonight. Make preparations," he instructed. The servant bowed and left to do as he was told. He sat back on his desk, still undecided about his next move.

 _Can I just leave everything to her? Will she really send for me after the dust has settled?_ He thought, his doubt fuelling the insecurity he'd always felt. He took out the ring that Her Majesty had given him and caressed it lovingly. His own misgivings started to fade when he remembered the tender expression in her eyes when she put the ring in his hand.

 _But this problem is more mine than hers! Shouldn't I at least deal with it myself to repay her for all the concern that she had shown me?_

He stood up and went to get his long sword. Slowly, he slid the sword from its ornate scabbard.

 _I've endured for too long. I will deal with them first, My Queen. Only then will I leave Seorabol._

He gazed at his unsheathed sword and smiled. The gleaming silver blade seemed to cry out to him, thirsting for blood. He lifted it and swung it around, pleased to hear the familiar melody of its deadly song.

 _It ends tonight!_

Firm in his decision, he hurriedly left the room and went into his sleeping chambers. He took off his official robes,quickly dressed in his old peasant clothes and donned a wide-brimmed straw hat. Grabbing his sword, Bidam purposely walked out into the stark,cold night, unaware that his own actions will set the wheels of fate finally in motion.


	14. II - Ch 1 Meltdown

**PART II**

 **Chapter 1. Meltdown**

The stillness of the forest was broken by the agonized cries of a hunched-up figure kneeling by the dirt road. Bidam couldn't believe what had just happened. His tortured mind was near to bursting while his heart felt like it had shattered into a million pieces. In his mind, he kept replaying scenes from the past few days- the Queen giving him the ring, telling him that he must leave, that she would send for him as soon as it's all over; Her Majesty asking him if he trusts her; her telling him that she wanted him to remain by her side. He remembered how she returned his embrace; how she held his hands after giving him the ring. He recalled her saying that she knew he had no other motives.

 _"_ _Why then? WHY?"_ he screamed, letting go of all the agony, all the disappointment, all the anger that he was feeling inside. _Am I really such a threat to you? How can you so easily turn your back on me like this? Was your decision to marry me just a political move, then? And now that I have failed to deal with my own faction's misdeeds, have I become just another hindrance myself?_

Bidam tried to convince himself over and over that she was not capable of such deception. But he could not ignore the dying words of the assassin or the mocking words of Chun Chu. And the more that he thought about Her Majesty's motives the more tortured he became. He took out the ring and caressed it lovingly, tears falling unheeded down his cheeks.

He then recalled a conversation he had with the Queen, back when he was still the Commissioner of the Royal Inspectorate and was inspecting Kim Yushin's ties with the Gaya Restoration Movement.

" _Bidam, are you in love with me?" the Queen asked. The question caught him off guard and he did not know how to reply._

 _"_ _I asked you a question, so please answer," she said._

 _"_ _Pardon my insolence, Your Majesty, but yes, I admit that I am," he answered._

 _"_ _What about Silla? Do you love Silla?" she asked. He hesitated._

 _"_ _I understand your devotion to me, but you must realize that should there be any marital ties between us, it wouldn't be to save Yushin's life nor would it be because of undying devotion. It would only be because I need you to remain by my side," the Queen said. "Even if you love me and stake your all for my sake, I, on the other hand, have already given my all to Silla. After having done so, how can I now love another?" she said._

Bidam clenched his fist over the ring as a painful revelation slowly dawned on him.

 _Was that it, then? You did everything for Silla?_

He felt crushed, lost, like a child abandoned by the people who meant everything to him.

 _Has my love become such a problem for you? Should I let go of my feelings then? Forgive me, Deokman, but I cannot give you up that easily._

He closed his eyes and sighed. When he opened them again, the sadness was gone and in its place was a fire that mirrored the ferocious determination in his breast.

 _Since Silla is all that you can ever love, then you leave me no other choice... if the throne has become so taxing that you think it necessary to forsake me and have me killed then I will happily relieve you of that burden._

He looked at the ring again and clutched it close to his heart.

 _If I fail in this quest, then I, together with those that have threatened this nation, will disappear forever. Either way, I have already accepted my fate. My life would mean nothing if I can't have you, Deokman._

Bidam spun around and called out to Yeomjong, the deadly glint in his eyes a clear forewarning of an upcoming storm.

* * *

The Queen sat at her desk writing what she felt would be her last correspondence as the Sovereign of Silla. The recent developments made her realize that this was the only way that she could be with Bidam. She was now certain that neither his followers nor hers, would ever leave them in peace. After everything has been said and done, it all came down to choosing between her crown and her heart's desire. _My heart_ , she thought.

The royal physician had confirmed her condition a long time ago but she never told anyone about it, not Chun Chu or Yushin, not even Bidam, for that matter. Not really because she wanted to keep it a secret but because it had taken her a long time to accept the royal physician's diagnosis. After several examinations, he reluctantly informed her that she had a rare, incurable heart disorder and it was only a matter of time before her heart completely failed. She was given, at most, a few months to live. Fear, not for herself, but for her people, made her drive herself even harder at work the past few weeks as she made preparations for her inevitable departure. She had ensured the smooth transition of power by leaving written instructions to Chun Chu and Yushin, further outlining their unification campaign. She had also instructed AlCheon, who was privy to all her plans, to use his own discretion in disclosing them to her successor. Everything was ready. All that was left was her personal preparations.

Although she had hoped to remain in the Palace until the very end, the problems with Bidam's followers these past few weeks made her realize that what she really wanted was to live her remaining days in peace. The thought of abdication had already crossed her mind when she learned about her condition but recent events made the prospect even more attractive. And so, here she sat, writing her final letter to the man she hoped to spend what little time she had left with, the only man who was never afraid to love her. She finished her letter, signed her name and placed the parchment in a yellow silk envelope. She then instructed the guard to let in an old, trusted friend. Jukbang entered and bowed before her.

"Your Majesty, you sent for me?" Jukbang said.

"Yes. I need you to do an important errand for me," she said.

"Just say it and I will do it, Your Majesty."

"I want you to take this letter to Lord Bidam at Chu Wa Gun. He will be arriving there tonight so you have to leave immediately."

"Yes, Your Majesty. I will do as instructed."

"You must make sure that you give it to him personally. Wait for his reply and come back here without delay."

"Yes, Your Majesty."

"Do not tell anyone about this. Just go straight to Chu Wa Gun and make sure that you deliver that letter to Lord Bidam. Tonight," the Queen said.

Jukbang understood the implied message of the Queen: if you have to risk your life to deliver this top-secret message, then do so, without delay.

Her old friend nodded and left to carry out what was to be, unbeknownst to either of them, his last mission for Her Majesty.

* * *

Bidam's men fretfully sat around the long table inside their makeshift tent at the mines. They had agreed to gather here and await word from Yeomjong who promised to bring Bidam with him. They had been able to evade capture, thanks to Yeomjong's intelligence report which warned them that they were the main suspects in the Ashoka incident and the shooting of Lord Chun knew, however, that once Her Majesty officially declared them 'enemies of the state' and wanted for treason,they would soon be the subject of a massive manhunt. They had all hurriedly left their homes earlier that evening, packing whatever little they could carry. Their families had also been hastily sent to safe-houses outside Seorabol. And so here, in a concealed mine high up in the mountains near the border of the capital, they all gathered to await their fate.

Lord Mi Saeng sat at the far side of the room and looked at their pitiful group. His nephews Ha Jong and Bo Jong, both Mishil's sons and half-brothers of Bidam, sat near him, quietly contemplating their destiny. On the far left sat Ho Jae, the former Pungwolju,who was succeeded by Kim Yushin, Pil Tan and his father, Lord Jujin, who used to command the biggest contingent outside of Seorabol. On the other side of the table sat Lords Seulbu, Seon Yeon and Hwang Yun, all equally silent and staring at the tent entrance, obviously praying for the appearance of the would-be leader of their coup.

"Where the hell is Yeomjong?" Ha Jong asked, addressing no one in particular.

"If it weren't for him, we wouldn't be in this situation," said Lord Jujin.

"We all knew it would come to this, we prepared for it," Ho Jae said.

"Yes! But not without Bidam! We prepared for a coup led by him," Lord Seulbeu said, obviously irritated by their leader's sudden disappearance.

"You're right. We need to have a rallying point to carry out such a monumental task. Without Bidam, we have no valid reason for an uprising," Pil Tan agreed.

Just then, Yeomjong entered the tent. Lord Mi Saeng immediately rose to his feet and approached their tardy associate.

"Where is Bidam? Without him, there is no point to this rebellion. We would be nothing more than common criminals!" he said.

Yeomjong looked at his fellow compatriots and smiled triumphantly. He stepped aside to reveal the man who followed closely behind him. They all jumped up when they recognized the Sangdaedung, resplendently dressed in his black battle armor trimmed with ornate silver etching. Under it, he wore his signature black silk tunic over white undergarments. On his right arm was his helm while his left hand loosely held his longsword sheathed in its gold-etched looked every bit the true bone son of Lady Mishil and King Jinji, every bit the rightful, albeit uncrowned, Prince of Silla, every bit the General that would lead them to victory. He strode past Yeomjong and looked sternly at his men.

"You look like you all have seen a ghost. What a sorry lot you all are!" Bidam said as all his men breathed a sigh of relief, all their doubts and fears disappearing with the appearance of their last hope for survival.


	15. II - Ch 2 A Parting of Ways

**PART II**

 **Chapter 2. A Parting of Ways**

Myeongwhal Sanseong, or Mountain Fortress, lay east of Seorabol, a fifteen-minute ride away from the capital. It was a medium-sized fortress built to withstand a full attack from hostile forces; the last defensive line of Seorabol. Ironically, the fortress had now become the stronghold of the rebel forces that threatened to engulf Seorabol itself.

Earlier that day, Bidam and his men had entered Myeongwhal Sanseong unchallenged. The other lords wanted to seek refuge farther south, as far away from Seorabol as possible but Bidam refused. He said that the reason why Lady Mishil's coup failed was because she left the capital, making her vulnerable and isolated. He, however, would not make the same mistake that his birth-mother had done. He would make his stand in Myeongwhal Sanseong, gather support from the other provincial lords who sympathized with their cause, march to the capital and forcibly bring the battle right to Her Majesty's doorstep.

Their main concern was to capture the fortress with as little casualty as possible. Myeongwhal Sanseong housed a formidable garrison. Knowing that it would take days to overtake the fortress, Bidam formulated a strategy that required the Queen to remove the troops inside the fort without getting wind of the rebels' real objective.

Feigning an attack on Yeo Do, Bidam was able to forceHer Majesty into deploying the Myeongwhal Sanseong garrison to reinforce the Yeo Do forces, leaving the mountain fortress under-manned and unprotected. With its borders practically defenseless, the once impenetrable fortress was easily overrun by the belligerent attack of Bidam's rebel troops.

The Sangdaedung, pleased with the outcome of their first endeavor, had been sitting alone in his newly acquired quarters going over the battle plans proposed by his War Cabinet when San Tak, one of his personal guards, came in with Jukbang in tow. Jukbang greeted the Sangdaedung and said that he had been instructed by Her Majesty to personally deliver a very urgent message.

"Lord Bidam, I went to Chu Wa Gun yesterday to deliver a personal message from Her Majesty but you were not there. Upon reading the notices that were posted around town I asked San Tak to help me search for you. We came here as soon as we learned that you had taken over this fortress," Jukbang said bowing before the Sangdaedung.

He then handed the envelope that the Queen had entrusted to him. Bidam opened the envelope and took out the parchment inside. His hands shook as he recognized the Queen's handwriting. He couldn't believe what he had just read, so he furiously crumpled the letter with both hands and quickly turned to glare at Jukbang.

"Are you saying that the Queen sent this? How can you expect me to believe you?" he asked Jukbang.

"My Lord, I swear that the Queen personally instructed me to deliver this letter to you," Jukbang assured him.

Bidam jumped from his seat and grabbed Jukbang by his tunic, his face contorted with rage and suspicion.

"My Lord, what's wrong? Why are you doing this?" Jukbang asked, slightly shaking. He knew how dangerous Lord Bidam could be when enraged. He had been a witness, on countless occasions, to the Sangdaedung's ruthless wrath and he honestly feared for his life at that moment.

"Tell me the truth, and keep in mind that your life depends on it. Tell me who sent you here!" Bidam asked, his voice quivering with suppressed anger. He knew that Jukbang was Chunchu's vassal and he feared that this could be another one of the young royal's schemes.

"My Lord, I already risked my life by coming here. Although I was not even sure that I could deliver the Queen's letter to you I had promised to stake my life in order to do so! Did you think I would risk life and limb for a mere lie?"

Bidam looked intently at the older man and somehow felt the sincerity in Jukbang's voice. He could not dismiss the fact that although Jukbang was now a vassal of Lord Chunchu he was still one of the few who enjoyed the Queen's complete confidence.

"You must believe me, my Lord. I came last night to Chu Wa Gun and waited for you there. When you did not come back, I asked San Tak to take me to you without delay," Jukbang said.

"Yes. That is true, my Lord. He came to Chu Wa Gun last night and asked to speak to you immediately. He waited all night and when you did not return he insisted that I take him to you because he had an urgent errand from the Queen," confirmed San Tak.

Bidam lets go of Jukbang and slumped down in his chair. He felt confused, angry, yet hopeful at the same time. _Deokman sent me this letter? Could this be true?_ He tried to make sense of it all when a sudden revelation came to his mind. He closed his eyes and sighed. _You almost had me there, Deokman. Nice try!_

Both Jukbang and San Tak were taken aback when Bidam suddenly burst out laughing. Bidam turned back to Jukbang, his face anything but jovial.

"Tell Her Majesty that she almost had me fooled again," Bidam said, chuckling softly to himself.

Jukbang and San Tak looked at each other, perplexed by Bidam's remark.

"Tell Her Majesty that her machinations had failed. The Bidam that she wanted to eliminate is still alive and kicking! Make sure that you deliver that message to Her Majesty personally!" Bidam said, his eyes flashing with resentment.

Jukbang and San Tak gasped. They couldn't believe their ears. Had the queen just ordered the assassination of the Sangdaedung? Could that be true? What could've given him that idea?

Jukbang knew of the Queen's devotion to Lord Bidam. He had known her even before their Nangdo days and he had come to understand her far better than anyone else. He was sure that although the Queen tried to hide, or even control, her deep feelings for Lord Bidam, they were nevertheless real and sincere. He also knew that the Sangdaedung felt the same way for Her Majesty. Jukbang sadly shook his head and felt a deep sorrow for these star-crossed lovers. _This could not end happily_ , he thought to himself. Although he tried to figure out a way to pacify the furious Sangdaedung, Jukbang knew that there was nothing else that he could do here. The fierce look on Lord Bidam's face told him that he had already made up his mind. Perhaps he would be more successful at turning this thing around at the Queen's end. He bowed to Bidam and asked San Tak to show him out.

After escorting Jukbang to the fortress gates to make sure that the man was not apprehended by their troops, San Tak returned the Sandaedung's chambers to find his superior furiously pacing the floor. Bidam looked up when he saw San Tak enter and motioned him to approach.

"San Tak, did Jukbang really wait for me at Chu Wa Gun last night," he asked.

"Yes, My Lord. He spent the night at the fort and was quite agitated when you did not arrive as expected. I told him to leave the letter with me but he was adamant in saying that he must deliver it to you personally. When we learned that you had taken over this fortress he again insisted on seeing you. I told him that he would surely be killed if he came here himself, being identified as the Queen's vassal, but he said that he must not fail since he had given his word to the Queen and if it meant putting his life on the line then he would have to do so. Seeing his determination and feeling the truth in his words, I agreed to take him to you myself," San Tak replied.

Bidam was listening to him intently. After a while, he finally made up his mind. He pulled San Tak close and whispered his instructions to him.

"I need you to do something for me. Do not entrust this to anyone and do not tell anyone about it. I want you to investigate the palace guard, Heuk San. He's the one who tried to assassinate me." San Tak gasped. "Go to his house and talk to his kin. Report back to me as soon as possible. Do this quickly and quietly, understood?" he ordered San Tak.

"Consider it done, my Lord" San Tak bowed and immediately left to carry out Bidam's instructions.

* * *

The Queen hurried back to her chambers when she was informed that Jukbang had returned. Jukbang unhappily reported that Bidam was indeed in Myeongwhal Sanseong.

"What? Did you see him yourself?" the Queen asked.

"Yes, Your Majesty. I handed the letter personally to him," Jukbang Queen was crushed by Jukbang's words. _So, it is true! You have turned against me!_

"Did he read the letter?" she asked as a throbbing pain started to form inside her chest.

"Yes, Your Majesty."

"What did he say?"

Jukbang hesitated.

"Well?" she insisted.

Jukbang swallowed hard, clearly unsure on how to deliver the Sangdaedung's message.

"Your Majesty, Lord Bidam told me to inform you that the Bidam that Your Majesty and Lord Chun Chu had tried to assassinate is still alive and kicking," Jukbang said.

"What? He said that?" the Queen cried, shocked by Jukbang's words.

"Your Majesty, it seems that there was an assassination attempt on the Sangdaedung," Jukbang said.

"An assassination attempt was made on Lord Bidam? But why would he think that I gave that order?" the Queen said, surprised and hurt that Bidam would think her capable of doing such a thing.

Just then, Al Cheon entered to report the result of his investigation on the palace guard, Heuk San.

"Your Majesty," Al Cheon greeted the Queen.

"What did you find out, Lord Al Cheon," she asked.

"We were able to trace his place of residence but when we got there, all of his kin, save for his younger sister, were already dead. The girl told me that they were all killed by a group of uniformed men. When I asked her about Heuk San she said that a few nights ago, his brother came home and told them that he would be going away on an important mission and that they would be greatly compensated for it, however, he might not be coming back again." Al Cheon narrated.

"Did you learn who he was working for?" the Queen asked, dreading Al Cheon's answer.

"Yes, Your Majesty." Al Cheon replied.

Both the Queen and Jukbang gasped when Al Cheon said the name of the one who engineered the attempt on the Sangdaedung's life.

"Then, it was just a misunderstanding! Your Majesty, we must clear this up immediately with Lord Bidam. With your permission, Your Majesty, I will go back to Myeongwhal Sanseong and tell him myself!" exclaimed Jukbang.

The Queen, however, did not look happy at all. In fact, she looked even more forlorn now that she had learned the truth. She realized that they, Bidam and herself, had both been maneuvered around like pawns by the people around them. She also regretted the fact that Bidam had so easily fallen for such a ploy.

"I wish it were as simple as that, Hyungnim[1] Jukbang," the Queen said. Jukbang was touched yet distressed at the same time when the Queen addressed him by his old moniker. She usually did so only when she was feeling particularly vulnerable and helpless; when she felt frustrated and trapped by her crown.

"It is now too late for Bidam and me", she replied softly.

"But, Your Majesty," protested Jukbang.

"We have already reached a point from which we can no longer turn back. Bidam had publicly humiliated the Queen and as Sovereign of the land, I have no other choice but to do my duty first," the Queen said, her voice was firm but her eyes were brimming with unshed tears.

* * *

[1] Elder brother


	16. II - Ch 3 The Falling Star

**PART II**

 **The Falling Star**

Wyeolsong Castle (The Queen's Residence)

A large group of peasants gathered in the Palace Training Grounds. Most of them have come to volunteer in defending the Queen, others to await news. They had been apprehensive and confused ever since they received reports of the sudden uprising allegedly perpetrated by no other than the Sangdaedunghimself. Adding to the confusion was the fact that only a few days ago they had been hearing rumors of the impending wedding between the Queen and the Sangdaedung Lord Bidam, so how could the Sangdaedung be rising up in arms at this time? Was it really true that Lord Bidam's forces had taken over the Myeongwhal Sanseong fortress?

Too many questions and too many speculations circulated amongst the crowds and they knew that only the Queen could quell their fears. One thing that they were sure of, though, was that if the Queen needed their help they would willingly stake their lives to protect her and the Kingdom. Her reforms in taxation and her bold agricultural programs had benefited them immensely. She had shown them compassion and had given them something that no other noble had even dared to had given them hope. Now, they felt that they owed her their own livelihood, if not their very lives.

The Queen looked out at the crowd from the War Room. She knew that they needed some kind of assurance from her. They had followed her lead ever since she came into power and although they were now frightened and uneasy, they still showed overwhelming support. They had all read the notices posted in the village square demanding the abdication of the Queen,saying that all their problems stemmed from the fact that they have a female ruler and because of this the other kingdoms look down on them. The notices claimed that their alliance with the Tang Dynasty was now being threatened because of Her Majesty's refusal to step down and it's the people's duty to take action and oust the Queen in order to save their Heavenly Kingdom.

She still found it hard to believe that all this uproar was instigated by Lord Bidam.

Why did he turn against me like this, she kept on asking herself. At first, she thought that it was only a misunderstanding, that it was just another one of his followers' schemes. It was only when she received the ring that she had given Bidam before they parted that her fears were finally confirmed. It was found on the body of the dead palace guard, Heuk San when it was returned that morning to the palace. With it was a written declaration of Bidam's mutiny.

 _What happened to you, Bidam? Can't you really trust me? Or was this your real intention even from the start?_

She asked herself while sadly stroking the ring that symbolized the devotion that she could not fully show him yet, the ring that now ironically signified his utter rejection of her.

She looked up again at the crowd as she stifled the tears that were beginning to choke her and put the ring inside her pocket.

 _I cannot abandon them now. They need me more than you need me, Bidam._

Al Cheon entered the room and found the Queen sitting in front of the window, looking out at the throng in the Palace Training Grounds. He felt sorry for her. He knew that inside this situation with her betrothed must be tearing her apart. He had stood by her side ever since the assassination of her twin sister, Princess Cheonmyeong, and had since devoted his life to her service.

Over the years he had come to admire her innate strength and resilience. He had witnessed her courage and fortitude in the battlefield when she was still a Nangdo[1]. He had seen how she had defied all odds and became the first female ruler of Silla. She had evolved and matured before his eyes and he couldn't help but feel a deep affection for the woman she had become.

He knew, however, that to her, he would be nothing more than a faithful servant, nothing more than a trusted friend, at best, so he purposely suppressed his budding feelings and just devoted himself to serving her as his Sovereign. When she assigned him to be Chief of the Royal Guards, he became her closest confidante, ally, and protector. Only he knew the truth about her bad heart. It pained him to see her suffering like this. If only he could lessen her anguish, if only he could take away all her burdens and bear them himself, but he knew that she had to face this dilemma on her own so he just sighed and approached her quietly.

 _I will do everything in my power to make your remaining days as comfortable as possible, My Queen, but for now, you have to be strong and walk this path on your own. Do not worry, I will stand behind you to make sure that you do not falter._

"Your Majesty," he said after making sure that she was already aware of his presence.

She slowly turned to face him and gave him a sad smile. His heart went out to her when he saw the tears that laced her lashes. He wanted to console her but he knew that she would be embarrassed by such gesture so he just lowered his eyes and pretended not to notice.

"Yes, Lord Al Cheon, what can I do for you?" she answered softly.

"Your Majesty, I think it would be best if you spoke to the crowd. They all want to take up arms for the Queen but they are also confused and anxious," he said.

"Yes, I believe so, too. Please prepare the podium and tell the people that I will be addressing them in a few minutes," she said.

"Yes, Your Majesty," he said. Al Cheon gave her a short bow and left the room.

The Queen took a deep breath and stood up. She resisted the urge to touch the ring again and said to herself,

 _It's too late for us, Bidam. Although my heart is screaming for me to go to you and leave everything behind, my mind would never be at peace if I did so for I am first and foremost, the Queen of Silla, the Queen of my people, the Queen that you betrayed. And I have to be strong and not wallow in useless sentimentality. I must do everything in my power to stop this madness, even if it means turning my back on you…"_

When she came out, Al Cheon, Yushin, and Chun Chu, where already waiting for her outside her chambers. They greeted her and escorted her to the courtyard. The crowd cheered when she stepped up to the podium. She was thankful that the people still believed in her and it somehow made her resolve stronger. She raised her hand to request their silence. When the cheers died down she began to address the people.

"Our Heavenly Kingdom is in danger. It is because of certain nobles who do not want to relinquish their power and influence. For that reason, it is you, my people, who are suffering. Our economy is faltering because of the selfishness of these nobles. All they want is to acquire more and more while taking away from the people. This has forced us to seek the aid of other kingdoms. Now they have humiliated your Queen and are asking for her abdication. They have dishonored our Kingdom!" She paused when the people started chanting 'Long live the Queen'.

"We can no longer allow this! We must put a stop to this malady that is afflicting our nation!" The crowd roared.

"We must crush this rebellion! We mush annihilate those that threaten our Sovereignty! We must protect the Kingdom!" she cried.

The people screamed in agreement and shouts of "Long Live Her Majesty" filled the air. The Queen was overwhelmed by the crowd's response. She raised her hands towards them in approval. She stepped down from the podium and slowly turned to leave when a stabbing pain suddenly gripped her heart leaving her weak and breathless. She saw Yushin and Al Cheon looking at her and she felt the deep concern written on their faces. Cold sweat broke out on her forehead just as her hands started to shake. Her pale face worried Al Cheon and he moved to reach out to her but she shook her head and signaled for him to just wait for her at the bottom of the dais. Al Cheon immediately left the dais and did as she requested. Although she did not want stumble in front of the people, she did not want them to see her being assisted down the dais either. They must never know of her frail condition. And for that, she knew that she must maintain her herself to bear the pain, the Queen slowly walked away from the crowd with Yushin and Chun Chu following right behind her.

Upon reaching the steps, Al Cheon grasped her hand and helped her step down from the wooden dais. Her cold hands alarmed him and he knew that it was only through sheer willpower that she was able to reach the steps. Her ragged breath also indicated that she was suffering more than she cared to admit.

"Your Majesty, please forgive my insolence, but I think it would be best if I carry you. You must not strain yourself any longer," he said, his concern deeply manifested in his voice.

"No, you mustn't. The people can still see us. I can manage. Just take me back to my chambers immediately," answered the Queen.

Al Cheon guided her to the pathway that led towards the royal chambers while Yushin walked behind her to assist her should she falter in her step. They were almost midway down the path when the Queen felt lightheaded again and without warning her knees gave way sending her sprawling on the ground. Just then,the crowd started shouting that a star had fallen out of the sky.

Al Cheon and Yushin rushed to her side and helped her to get up. The Queen clutched at her chest and started gasping for air. Al Cheon shouted at the nearby guard to bring the Queen's palanquin right away.

"What's wrong, Your Majesty?" Chun Chu asked. His young face clearly reflecting his anxiety.

"She's just exhausted. She needs to retire quietly in her chambers," answered Al Cheon.

"Are you okay, Your Majesty?" a distressed Yushin asked.

The Queen tried to smile and assure them that she was feeling okay but no words came out of her mouth. As her vision started to blur she heard the panicked voices of the people in the square: _The Queen's star had fallen from the sky!_

* * *

[1] Hwarang Trainee. Under Princess Cheonmyeong's tutelage, she was inducted into the Dragon Flower Guild under Hwarang Yushin. Deokman pretended to be a man when she was still searching for her true identity so the Princess had no idea then that she was her long-lost twin sister.


	17. II - Ch 4 Confusion

**PART II**

 **Chapter 4. Confusion**

Myeongwhal Sanseong (Mountain Fortress)

Bidam had just finished briefing his forces and was now about to return to his quarters. As he slowly walked the path towards the Commander's residence he looked up and saw the stars twinkling like diamonds on a velvet pallet. He found it strange that whenever he looked at the stars he always thought of Deokman.

He chuckled softly and corrected himself, _Her Majesty, I should say_ , _for isn't it treason to call you by your given name_? He shook his head and suppressed the sadness that was beginning to envelop him again.

 _I must be strong for us, Deokman. I have to see this through. This is the only way that we can truly be together. This is the only way that you could remain the Queen, only if I become the ruler of Silla._

Now as he sat at his writing desk, he took out the letter that he had received yesterday from Jukbang, its yellow silk envelope a clear indication of its origin. Her Majesty always used her trademark yellow silk envelope for her personal correspondence.

Bidam held the envelope gently between his fingers and tried to resist reading its contents. _Did you really send this to me, Deokman? Or is this another one of Her Majesty's tricks, another one of your efforts to subdue me? But how could you send this now if you ordered my death only a few days ago?_

The dying words of the Palace Guard that tried to assassinate him still rang inside his brain: _Death to all traitors! Long live Her Majesty!_

At length, he took out the parchment and straightened it on his desk. In his frustration, he had crumpled the letter the first time he read it. Fortunately, he did not have the strength to tear it up then. He looked at the words that were neatly written on the parchment. He knew that it was in Her Majesty's own handwriting for he had spent countless hours watching her write her notes and letters. _Back when we were just Deokman and Bidam,_ he mused. Although he had already read the letter at least a dozen times, he still could not bring himself to accept it as true. Slowly, though he already knew its contents by heart, he read it again.

" _Bidam, I need to take care of things here in Seorabol. I will finish my obligations as a Sovereign. I will abdicate my throne thereafter and will come to you. Find a place where we can be together and wait for me there. Bear with me this one last time. We have to be apart for just a while but after this, I would like to spend the rest of my life with you...No matter what happens, please wait for me. Deokman"_

Furiously, he wiped away the tears that unconsciously fell down his cheeks. _How I wish these words were true. How I wish you had said this to me yourself so I could look into your eyes and see the truth in them. But how can I know the truth now? Do you really feel this much for me?_

Bidam couldn't help but remember the mocking words of Chun Chu , _"Did you really think that Her Majesty has feelings for you?_

And even the Queen's own words, _"Even if you really love me, my only love is Silla."_

 _If that were true, how can you say these things to me now?_ Can you really give up Silla for me _,_ he thought.

All these questions did nothing but to confuse him more; torn between his faith in Deokman and his mistrust for her role as the Queen Regnant. It felt like he was dealing with two separate persons every time he thought about their situation. He could sense the sincerity of Deokman's feelings for him yet he couldn't help but wonder if, due to political pressure, she was now acting as the Sovereign, if this was just another of her well-thought-out schemes.

 _But if she's already willing to give up the throne how can she gain from this politically? Or is this just another trick? A desperate effort to keep me in line, by giving me false hopes?_

In frustration, he thrust the letter aside and stood up. He felt that he would go out of his mind if he kept on scrutinizing her motives.

 _San Tak, where are you? I need to know the truth now!_

Looking out the window, he caught a glimpse of a single shining star. He stared at it and asked himself, _did I really make the right decision? Was I right in thinking that it was you who first betrayed our covenant? Deokman, did you ever really love me at all?_

And just as he stared at the star, it seemed to burst out in flames and without warning plummetted to earth. It was then that Yeomjong came rushing into the room, breathlessly calling out his name.

"Lord Bidam! My Lord! Did you see it? Did you see the falling star? It fell towards Wyolseong Castle!" he cried.

"Yes, I had just seen it," Bidam answered.

"It is a sign, My Lord! It was the Queen's star that fell down from the skies!" Yeomjong said.

Bidam was startled by his statement. _What could that mean? Is this the answer to my question? Was Her Majesty really fated to lose this battle? So, is this a confirmation from the heavens?_

"My Lord, you must address our troops! Take advantage of this! You must assure them that this is a sign that the heavens look favorably on our cause!"

Bidam was encouraged by Yeomjong's words. He, himself, also felt that it was a sign from the heavens. _There is still hope for us, Deokman. After I am crowned King, I will marry you and you will finally be my Queen!_

"Yes, this indeed is a blessing from the heavens. Come let us address our people. A new Kingdom is at hand!" he said to Yeomjong.

 _It will soon be over, Deokman._

Yeomjong ran ahead of him and gathered the troops in the courtyard. Bidam took Deokman's letter, folded it and tucked it inside his tunic.

 _I must see this through. This is the only way we can be together._

He took a deep breath and hurriedly left the room. Following Yeomjong's lead, the troops started cheering when Bidam entered the courtyard. Shouts of "Long Live Lord Bidam"together with the clang of swords and spears perpetrated the air. Bidam raised his hand to appeal for silence.

"Our Heavenly Kingdom is distressed. She is weeping because of an incompetent leader. We have been repeatedly defeated in war and are continuously ridiculed by other nations. They look down on us because our leader is incapable. We can no longer watch from the sidelines." he paused as shouts of "Yea" reverberated around the courtyard.

"We must put an end to all these! We must remove the Queen from the throne!" he cried as more shouts of agreement came from the crowd.

"We must establish a new kingdom! A kingdom that is strong! A kingdom that will be respected by every nation! A kingdom that is led by a powerful King!" he cried. "Even the heavens have decreed the birth of our new Kingdom! The Queen's star has fallen! The end of her reign is at hand!"

The troops screamed their assent and started chanting "Long Live Lord Bidam". Bidam was overcome by their support and raised both arms in triumph.

 _I will be the Silla that you love! And you, Deokman, will finally give me your undying devotion._


	18. II - Ch 5 Yushin's Pain

**PART II**

 **Chapter 5. Yushin's Pain**

Inside the Queen's chambers, the Royal Physician took the Queen's pulse, an unmistakable apprehension clouding his face. He looked up and caught Lord Al Cheon's eye. He slowly shook his head and conveyed to Lord Al Cheon that the Queen's condition was getting worse and already beyond help.

"Your Majesty," the Royal Physician said. He felt a choking pain as he concluded that there was nothing more that he could do for the Queen. The Queen looked up at him and smiled.

"You need not worry about me. You have done everything that you can. You may leave now," she said.

"But Your Majesty," said the Royal Physician, reluctant to leave the Queen's side in her condition.

"It's alright. You have done your best. You may go." the Queen insisted.

The Royal Physician bowed before her and left the room, anguish written on his old, wrinkled face. He had grown fond of this strong-willed woman and he felt miserable knowing that her illness was something he could not treat. He took a last glance at the Queen; afraid that this could be the last time that he would be able to see her alive.

Lord Al Cheon felt infuriated at his helplessness. He'd rather be anywhere but in this room as he could not bear to see the Queen suffer like this yet he could not leave her in this condition. It's as if he was being forced to watch her fade away right before his very eyes. If there was anything that he could do, if he could just give up his life to make her live, he would do so without reservation. But since it was not utterly beyond his control he had to contend himself with making her last remaining days as comfortable as possible.

Deep inside, he nurtured a burning hatred for Bidam. He knew that the stand-off between him and the Queen had aggravated her condition.

 _Is he not aware of the pain this is inflicting on Her Majesty? How could he betray her trust like this?_

What pained him more was the fact that although the Queen had already declared Bidam an enemy of the state thereby ordering his arrest and execution in the process, he knew that deep inside the Queen still loved the errant man. And the indictment of Bidam, which she only gave out of obligation, was evidently slowly killing her.

As Lord Al Cheon looked at the Queen with deep concern, Lord Yushin entered and asked to speak with her. Upon hearing his voice the Queen sat up on her bed and gestured for him to come forward.

"Don't get up, Your Majesty. Please just lie down and rest. I only came to see how you are doing," Lord Yushin said.

"It's okay. I'm really getting tired of just lying in bed. It makes me feel weak and lightheaded," the Queen answered.

"When did this ailment start, Your Majesty? Why did you not tell me?" Lord Yushin asked, confused and hurt that she did not share the truth of her illness with him.

"I made Lord Al Cheon and the Royal Physician promise to keep my condition a secret. We're on war-footing all the time and I don't want our enemies to take advantage of the situation," the Queen explained.

"But you should have at least told me. When did you learn about your condition?" Yushin asked.

The Queen smiled at him but did not reply. After a while, she looked at the far distance and in a soft voice began to narrate a dream she once had.

"On my first night in Silla, right after I came from the Taklamakan desert, I had a dream. In my dream, I was still the young Deokman searching for Master Munno. I was in the marketplace asking the merchants about Munno's whereabouts and was getting bewildered because of the conflicting answers that I had been getting. One merchant said that he was living in a monastery; another said that he was in Taekbaeksan while still another said that he was flying over the clouds and had become a god. I was so confused that I hurriedly left the merchants and ran towards the town square. While walking aimlessly, I bumped into a lady wearing white silk robes. Her clothes were so beautiful that she looked like a Shrine goddess. I was surprised when that lady suddenly bent down and hugged me. I then struggled to free myself from her embrace," the Queen paused and closed her eyes. "When I looked at the Lady I saw that she was weeping. The strange thing was that last night, I had the same dream. This time I asked the Lady who she was," she continued.

"Please, Your Majesty. Let us talk about this at another time. For now, I need to know what is ailing you. Please tell me," Lord Yushin insisted.

"Who was the Lady in your dream, Your Majesty?" Lord Al Cheon asked. He looked at Yushin and slowly shook his head indicating that it's no use asking her to rest. It would be best if they just let her finish her story; the Queen did not like discussing her condition.

"I don't know. I can't remember if she answered my question. I couldn't see her face clearly and I can't seem to recall it now," she answered.

When the Queen opened her eyes, she looked directly at Lord Yushin. The sadness in her eyes was replaced by a look of fierce determination.

"General," she said, her voice now adapting the commanding tone that they had become so familiar with.

"Yes, Your Majesty," answered Yushin, glad of the sudden change in her demeanor.

"I approve of your strategy. You must carry it out tonight," she said.

"Yes, Your Majesty. I will do as you command," replied Yushin. He gave her a short bow and left to carry out her order.

"Lord Al Cheon, please go and assist General Yushin with the preparations," she said.

"What about you, Your Majesty? Will you be alright while I'm gone?" he asked.

The Queen looked up at him and smiled. She knew that he craved to engage the rebels in battle yet felt reluctant to leave her. Although she never gave it much thought before, she now understood that the deep devotion that Lord Al Cheon had shown her all through the years were more than what a loyal subject bestowed upon his ruler. He had become her closest ally and her most trusted confidante. They had developed a bond that transcended trivial human ties, and for that she was thankful.

"Yes, Lord Al Cheon. Do not worry about me. I will rest for a while and then I will personally oversee the arrangements for tonight's operation," she answered.

"As you wish, Your Majesty," Al Cheon said.

He bowed to her and made his way to the War Room where Yushin would be briefing the other officers. Before leaving the room, he chanced a quick glance at the Queen and found her lying in bed with her eyes closed. She seemed to be sleeping peacefully at least. _Rest now, My Queen. Tonight will be a most trying night for you. You need to be strong for this._

Al Cheon found Yushin waiting for him outside the Queen's chambers. He was pacing up and down the hallway and Al Cheon knew at once that he had purposely waited for him to inquire about the Queen's medical condition.

"When did you learn about her illness," Yushin asked when Al Cheon approached him. Al Cheon sighed and took Yushin aside.

"Not too long ago. It seems that she had asked the Royal Physician to keep her condition a secret. I would not have known about it either had I not been present when she had an episode," Al Cheon replied.

"Are we the only ones who know about this? How could she have hidden this from us?" Yushin asked, his voice betraying the ache that he felt inside.

"Yes, I believe so," Al Cheon answered.

"She should have at least told us. She must have been suffering all this time. What about Bidam? Do you think he knows?" Yushin asked, his face even more troubled now.

"I really can't tell. They had spent a lot of time together lately but she had always been able to hide it well before, up until now. I guess the stress is taking its toll on her," answered Al Cheon. "I think it would be best if we just follow her instructions for now and begin our preparations for tonight."

Yushin did not reply and just kept staring at the chamber door. He seemed to be debating with himself, torn between his desire to follow her command and to stay by her side to comfort

After instructing his men to prepare for departure come eventide, Yushin went back to the Queen's chambers. He wasn't sure why he wanted to see her, he just felt that he had to talk to her in private. Since he was a known close acquaintance of the Queen he was quickly admitted into the Queen's chambers. He found the Queen sleeping fitfully, like she was having a bad dream. He wanted to wake her up but felt it a bit too imprudent so he just sat in a nearby chair and observed her in silence.

 _What is troubling you, My Queen? Is he bothering you even in your dreams?_ He thought. He could not ignore the pain that gripped his heart every time he was reminded of the Queen's confession to him, _"My greatest dream now is to give up my throne and live the rest of my life in peace, with Bidam."_

A bittersweet smile crossed his lips when he remembered the time they had spent in the mountains. The Queen had just learned of her true identity and they were both running for their lives; she, because different factions wanted her to disappear; and he, because he insisted on protecting her. She was just Deokman to him back then and he was a promising Hwarang who was willing to turn his back on everything in order to be with her. He had pleaded with her to just run away with him, to forget everything and live a simple life far away from Silla, but it was she who refused. She burned with the need to avenge her sister's death, to confront Mishil and to wrest Silla away from her. She chose to be the ruler of Silla and took a path that only she could tread.

 _Things have definitely changed, haven't they?_ He mused. _We have both come a long way. And although I had always been behind you, I could no longer walk beside you. You had deprived me of the right to love you and comfort you as a man when you chose to be Silla. I chose to become your loyal servant because it was the only way that I could remain close by your side. But were you aware that after all these years my affection for you has not diminished?_

He looked up when the Queen stirred in her bed. It seemed as if she could sense the anguish that he felt.

 _Were you surprised? Didn't you know that not a day passed by without my wondering how things would have turned out if we just ran away together? Were you aware of the pain that I endured when you announced that you would be marrying Bidam?_

Lord Yushin took a deep breath and swallowed the painful lump in his throat.

 _I know it's unfair, for I myself, in a desperate effort to save my people, had married into Lady Mishil's clan. And although that must have been painful for you, too, what really hurts me now is the knowledge that although my marriage was made for political reasons, your impending marriage to Bidam was not. I guess in my desire to help you fulfil your dreams for Silla I had forgotten that you were still a woman, someone who needed to be comforted and cherished._

He stood up and approached the sleeping Queen. He tenderly looked down at her. She was sleeping quietly now, her breathing, although shallow, was at least even. He still couldn't believe that she was gravely ill.

 _Yet, agonizing though it was, I sincerely was happy for you and Bidam. He would at least be able to give you what I couldn't. But now, my heart bleeds for you. And I hate Bidam for hurting you._

Lord Yushin held back the tears that were beginning to choke him and a look of rage crossed his features.

 _It was not just you and Silla that he betrayed. When he failed to keep his promise that he would take care of you and make you happy, he also betrayed although you can forgive him for that, you must pardon my insolence, My Queen, but I, Kim Yushin, cannot!_


	19. II - Ch 6 Exacerbation

**PART II**

 **Chapter 6. Exacerbation**

The Queen woke up just in time to see Yushin leave the room. She wanted to call him back to ask him but a sudden bout of dizziness kept her from getting up from her bed. She got up only when the Palace Maid came to check-up on her. Physically, she felt rested. Mentally and emotionally, though, she felt drained and exhausted. To calm her jangled nerves, the Queen went to her favorite spot in the room, the window looking out into the lake. She'd always been soothed by the tranquil waters of the now darkened lake. This time, however, it was not peace that she felt but rather a deep sadness. It reminded her of the last time that she had spoken to Bidam. It was here, on the bridge overlooking the lake, that she had given him the ring. Until now she could not comprehend how Bidam could have taken that gesture so lightly.

 _How could you have doubted me? Did you really think that I would be able to send you away so easily? Why couldn't you understand that I only did that in order to protect you?_

The Queen stood up from her chair and went to her desk. She then picked up the parchment that the Hwabaek, headed by Bidam, had sent her. It was an appeal to the people of Silla, a proposal put forth by the Hwabaek for the Queen's abdication. Copies of this 'proposal' had also been posted in the town square and marketplaces. The Queen felt her hands shake in anger as she read the document again:

 _The Hwabaek_ _ **[1]**_ _proposes the abdication of the Queen Regnant for the following reasons: First: The Queen is not qualified to fulfil the grandiose dreams put forth by King Jinheung for the nation, Second: The continuing conflict with Baekje and Goguryeo indicates that they hold the Kingdom of Silla in contempt because they have an incompetent female ruler costing Silla the Daeya Fortress in the process. Third: Ashoka the Great's auspicious prophesy clearly indicated that the Queen was not the rightful ruler of Silla. For the sake of the nation, The Hwabaek, therefore, implores the Queen Regnant to immediately abdicate the Throne and to let the rightful ruler take his place._

And at the end of this declaration was the Sangdaedung's signature. Chun Chu, Yushin, and Al Cheon were outraged when they read the proposal earlier. Chun Chu had implored the Queen to immediately release an edict demanding the arrest of Bidam and the Hwabaek since this document was a clear indication of treason. The Queen refused, however, saying that this proposal could not be valid without the Sangdaedung's approval.

A slightly frustrated Chun Chu pointed out that it had indeed been signed and endorsed by Sangdaedung Bidam himself. Still, the Queen adamantly refused to issue the arrest warrant. She insisted that they should not jump into conclusions; that the authenticity of the document must first be verified. The Queen pointed out this would not be the first time that his followers would forge Bidam's signature and do things without his knowledge. She reminded them of the false agreement with the T'ang envoys before.

To pacify Chun Chu, the Queen promised that should the document be proven authentic beyond doubt she would not give any special pardon to the Sangdaedung and would immediately be stripped of his office and put under arrest. Chun Chu was immediately mollified by the Queen's words. He knew that the Queen never went back on her word.

Later that day, however, confirmation of the Sangdaedung's treason was received in the form none of them had anticipated. The remains of the dead palace guard, Heuk San, was anonymously sent to Ingang Palace. On his body was found a copy of the Hwabaek proposal and tied to his neck was the ring that The Queen had given Bidam before she sent him to Chu Wa Gun. This was undeniable proof that the proposal was indeed approved by Bidam himself. The Queen was then left with no choice but to declare Sangdaedung Bidam an enemy of the state.

The Queen sighed as she glanced at the ring that was lying on the desk, her emotions mixed and conflicting. Anger. Grief. Longing. Frustration. Regret. One by one they invaded her mind. She picked up the ring and mourned Bidam's treachery.

 _How could trust between two people be so fragile, Bidam? How could you even consider that I would betray you that way? Did you not feel the sincerity of my feelings? I gave you this ring to seal my promise but you failed to see it that way. Do you know how much that hurts? Had you come to me and confronted me yourself, we wouldn't be in this situation. Now, there is nothing more that we can do but see this thing through._

The Queen clutched at her chest as another spasm twisted her heart. She knew that she had to stop thinking about Bidam and focus on the task at hand. She had to be strong and quietly endure the ache that was threatening to engulf her. She's still the Queen, the Ruler of Silla and she had to attend to her duty as the Sovereign. She had to be strong and survive this.

When the pain subsided, the Queen put the ring down and willed herself to remove it from her mind. _I am the Queen of Silla! I will overcome!_ She then stood up and took a deep breath.

 _I must oversee the preparations for the forthcoming assault on Myeongwhal Sanseong. I must crush this rebellion once and for all!_

* * *

After the tremendous support shown by the troops for their leader, Bidam's faction was still in high spirits when they met in the War Room to discuss their defense plans. Confidence was high and they were sure that they would be getting more support from the other nobles now that they had publicly declared their efforts to dethrone the Queen. Bidam, however, warned them that they were not out of the woods yet as their adversary was a brilliant strategist herself.

"We must not be complacent. We cannot rest easy until this is over," Bidam said. "We must remember that we are not only dealing with Her Majesty but Kim Yushin as well. Together they can really be a formidable force to reckon with."

"Then would it not be best if we strike first?" Mi Saeng asked.

"I am sure that more nobles will be joining our side. We have already received a communiqué from Lord Hoyoen that their troops will be arriving tomorrow together with the sheltered security garrison from Seorabol," said Lord Sueulbu.

"Yes, by tomorrow our forces will be increased by 5,000 elite soldiers," confirmed Ho Jae.

"We estimate our troops to be 20,000 strong by tomorrow. That's formidable enough to march to Seorabol!" Lord Jujin assured Bidam.

"Until they all get here the best thing that we can do is to fortify our defenses. We must not let them provoke us into attacking the capital. Yushin and Her Majesty would want to end this conflict as soon as possible before the other nobles join our cause. Time is on our side." Bidam said. "Tonight and tomorrow are the most crucial, if we can hold their forces off for two days, we would surely be victorious."

Bidam gave them further instructions on how to fortify their defenses. He admonished them to take nothing for granted and to make sure that all their men stayed alert and mindful of their posts. For now, they must concentrate on defense and not be provoked into petty skirmishes that could weaken their forces. One by one they left to attend to their assignments leaving Bidam sitting alone in the War Room; thinking, not about their next move, but about the only man who could change the course of this rebellion.

 _San Tak, you bastard! Where are you?_

* * *

In the War Room, Yushin discussed possible strategies in attacking Myeongwhal Sanseong. He could feel the tension and anticipation that rippled through the men. All of them were dressed in their battle gear, complete with armors and helms; arrows, bows, and swords at the ready. They all knew that they had to strike fast and hard before the other nobles mustered the audacity to join Bidam and turned the uprising into an all-out war that could reach the capital. They, therefore, needed to launch an assault that would cause an immediate impact. They could not afford a prolonged offensive since they would be greatly outnumbered once the other support troops arrived in the morning. It had to be a blitzkrieg.

"We have to do it in one strike," Yushin said.

"Yes, but the fortress has four gates. If we attack one of them, the others would be alerted and we could sustain heavy casualties," Wolya, leader of their archery and crossbow division said.

"We need to make a concerted attack," said Al Cheon.

"Yes. We need to attack the gates all at the same time," said Yushin, pointing at the map showing the four gates of the fortress, "North, South, East, West, all in one strike," he said.

"Are we going to make diversionary attacks?" asked Imjong.

"No. There won't be any diversionary attacks. We can't afford to risk our men by feigning an attack. All attacks must be real, aimed at subduing the troops stationed at those points," Yushin replied, "Once all the gates were opened I will lead the attack on the main gate."

"We have to start our offense by destroying their defense line at this point," Yushin said pointing at a road on the map.

"Wolya, Al Cheon, Im Jong, Deok Chung, Bak Uei and your men will attack their defense line here. Once they are subdued you must send us a signal to proceed with the coordinated attack on all the other gates." Yushin said.

"But how are we going to coordinate our attack without alerting the forces inside the fort?" Kim Seo Hyeon asked.

"If we use horns, it might not reach the other troops since Myeongwhal's gates are spread out and it could also alert the insurgents inside the fort," said Al Cheon.

"If we use fire beacons, we won't be able to raise it up that high and the others may not see them either," said Yong Chun.

"It has to be a signal that only our troops would recognize," said Al Cheon.

"Our troops' morale diminished when they saw the falling star. It's time that we made that star rise again. That will be our signal." Yushin said.

They all looked at Yushin, bewildered by his last statement. How could they make a fallen star rise back into the sky?

* * *

[1] Council of Nobles, directly presided over by the Sangdaedeung (Prime Minister)


	20. II - Ch 7 The Beginning of the End

**PART II**

 **Chapter 7. The Beginning of the End**

All was quiet on the north gate of the fortress. There was not much to do for the foot soldiers stationed outside its walls except to ward off any stragglers. They were all in high spirits after the inspiring speech that their leader, Lord Bidam, had given his troops. As some soldiers lounged by the camp fire discussing the anticipated arrival of the private armies of the other rebel lords a hail of fiery arrows from Wolya's Gwoljangno battalion started to rain down on them, furiously battering the defensive line of the north gate of Myeongwhal Sanseong.

The Myeongwhal soldiers gathered before the gate and put up their shields to try to fend them off but they were no match for the Gwoljangno crossbows which had the range of 800 paces, almost thrice as far as an arrow fired from an ordinary bow could reach. This great advantage made it almost impossible for the Myeonwhal troops to retaliate without endangering their lives and many of them fell from the very first assault. Just as the remaining defenders started retreating back to the safety of the fortress, a deafening war cry from the attackers reverberated around them. General Wolya, Seolji and Dae Pung stormed the first line of soldiers as Chief Al Cheon and his men awaited their signal to follow suit. The loud clang of swords filled the air as both the Myeongwhal soldiers and the Queen's forces fought valiantly.

General Wolya relentlessly pursued the panicked rebels and as soon as he saw their troop's last line of defense crumbling, he signaled Chief Al Cheon to join the assault. Sensing their imminent defeat, the Myeongwhal soldiers started to scatter, some trying hard to enter the fortress, while others started running to the safety of the dense forest.

"Don't let them escape! They must not get back into the fortress!" Wolya shouted to his men.

They immediately followed his command and blocked the retreating forces' path. A fierce swordfight then ensued between Gen. Wolya and Gen. Seon Yeol, one of Bidam's senior officers. The rebel general fought with every ounce of strength that he had but he was no match for the battle-skills of the former prince of Kaya. After a few minutes, Seon Yeol was beaten down to the ground and forced to surrender.

Al Cheon was rounding up the defeated fortress defenders when he saw that Hwang Yun, another Myeonghwhal officer, had taken out his war horn in an attempt to warn the other troops inside the fortress that the north gate had fallen. Al Cheon instantly rushed to him and with a quick slice of his sword, cut the war horn in half. Hwang Yun knelt down in defeat as he felt the sting of Al Cheon's sword as it was threateningly poised against his throat.

The battle for the north gate was over in just a few minutes, with just a few casualties from both sides. The surviving defenders were tied up and lined up against the wall, while the dead were dragged to one side to await the undertakers. Gen. Wolya and the other officers then surveyed the surrounding areas to make sure that there were no stragglers left to surprise them. After making sure that the defensive line had already been completely subjugated, Chief Al Cheon then instructed Gil to light a torch and wave it high. It was the signal that their other troops were waiting for, the signal to let the 'fallen star' rise up into the night sky.

* * *

As Bidam discussed their troops' battle plans with Lords Jujin, Ha Jong and Seulbu, a much agitated Bo Jong suddenly burst in. His apprehensive look told Bidam that there was trouble brewing at their defense lines.

"Your Excellency, we are being attacked from all sides. Our primary defense line had already been defeated and we are receiving reports that other troops are now poised to attack from all four points," Bo Jong said.

"What? They are probably just baiting us. Double the defense on all gates and tell your men to stay alerted," Bidam replied.

Just as Bo Jong was leaving to follow his leader's instructions, Lords Pil Tan and Ho Jae also came rushing in to report on the situation at their assigned posts.

"Your Excellency, the east gate has been breached," Ho Jae said.

"Baek Eui and his men are also attacking the south gate," Pil Tan reported.

"Send more troops to the east and south gates, try to draw them into the inner fortress. I will personally lead the defense against them," Bidam answered. He stood up to leave when a breathless and agitated Yeomjong came charging in.

"My Lord! Please come outside. You must see this!" he exclaimed and immediately ran outside without waiting for the Sangdaedung's reply.

The clamoring of the soldiers outside reached them and Bidam and the others hurriedly ran to see what the commotion was all about. When they reached the courtyard they saw that the troops were all looking up at the night sky, pointing at a rising flaming object.

"It's the star that had fallen last night! It has risen again!" the soldiers shouted.

"How can a fallen star rise again?" Ha Jong asked.

Lord Mi Saeng, who was intently observing the rising object, burst out laughing.

"Brilliant fabrication! It's not a real star but it has accomplished its purpose just the same," he said.

Bidam turned to him, curious. "What do you mean?"

"Isn't it obvious? They want us to think that the fallen star has risen again. It's meant to discourage our troops!" Mi Saeng replied, chuckling to himself.

"How were they able to make a fallen star rise again?" Bo Jong asked.

"It's not really a star. It's a burning effigy tied to a kite. From afar it definitely looks like a rising star but it's nothing more than a magician's trick," Mi Saeng said.

As Bidam kept on observing the rising object a sudden thought turned his insides cold.

"It's not a trick! It's a military signal! That kite is a military signal to strike!" he exclaimed. All eyes turned to him, their shock and panic evident.

"What do you mean, Lord Bidam?" asked Hoeje.

"Kim Yushin! It's his trademark signal! They are going to launch a concerted attack on all four gates!" Bidam bellowed, his insides twisting painfully as the full impact of what he had just said crashed within his consciousness.

* * *

While the troops inside Myeongwhal Sanseong were being distracted by the rising "star", Im Jong led his men in attacking the east wall. Stealthily, they scaled the fortress walls using their make-shift bamboo ladders. The fortress guards, still confused by the implication of the rising star were caught unaware by the invaders and were easily subdued. Im Jong then ordered his men to open the gate and signal Al Cheon, Seol Ji, and Wolya to spread out and infiltrate the fortress.

A foot soldier was also sent outside the east gate to meet the forces led by Chief Marshall Yushin. After a giving the general a quick salute he then enthusiastically reported that the east gate had already been breached and secured by Im Jong's forces. Yushin quickly turned his horse to address the troops behind him. He drew his sword and raised it high to rally his men.

"We must protect the Kingdom! Kill all traitors!" he cried.

The men screamed in agreement and raised their own weapons. Yushin then signaled them all to charge into the fortress.

As the last of the troops entered the besieged fortress, San Tak, disguised as a foot soldier, stole a last look behind him to make sure that he was not being followed. Satisfied that he had evaded his pursuers he hurriedly ran inside and searched for his master.

"It's their signal for a concerted attack," Bidam said again as his men looked at him in stunned silence. They stood rooted at their feet, panic-stricken and uncertain of what to do.

"Double the defenses! Call all the troops and defend the gates. You must not let them inside! I will lead the defense at the main gate. Go, now!" commanded Bidam.

All pandemonium broke loose as the men rushed to their assigned posts to direct their troops. The officers went flying to their men to give further instructions and monitor the defense of their assigned territory. The exhilaration that they had felt earlier was gone and was replaced by a deep sense of foreboding, a palpable feeling of doom and desperation.

Bidam looked around at the empty room. His feeling of dread was compounded by an unmistakable sense of bewilderment. He felt like something was not right and he just could not put his finger on it. He sighed in frustration, knowing that he could not defend his fortress running around with these thoughts inside his head. He turned to go back to his chambers to change into his armor in preparation for the main gate's defense when he was surprised by a haggard-looking San Tak blocking his path.

He looked harassed and extremely agitated. He was uncharacteristically hesitant in approaching his leader. The reason why Bidam liked using SanTak for his covert missions was because of his innate confidence that sometimes even bordered on arrogance. This man before him, however, exuded neither of those characteristics and it extremely puzzled him. Why would SanTak be concerned about his surroundings when he was already within friendly lines?

"Your Excellency!" San Tak said, his eyes furtively looking everywhere.

"San Tak! Where have you been? I have been waiting for you!" Bidam said.

"I apologize for being late, my Lord. I came back immediately after finishing my investigation but I was unable to get to you in fear for my life,"

"Fear for your life? Did anyone try to kill you?" Bidam asked, confused. San Tak nodded.

"When I reached the palace guard's home I found Lord Al Cheon talking to a young woman. I listened in on their conversation and immediately left after learning about the guard's final mission. I hurriedly came back here to deliver my report but I was forced to leave when they tried to arrest me," San Tak explained.

"Who tried to arrest you and what have you found out about the palace guard?" Bidam asked.

San Tak took another quick look around and came closer to the Sangdaedung. Leaning close to his leader, he then cupped his lips and whispered his findings to his superior. He could not risk giving his report any other way since he feared that, in this fortress, even the trees had ears. It took a couple of minutes for him to finish his full report. When he stepped back, he was surprised to see the calm face of his superior. He had expected his master to explode in anger and had actually feared that Bidam would somehow take out his wrath on him. But as the seconds ticked by, his superior's countenance remained impassive and even resigned. SanTak, however, sensed that it was just the calm before the storm, the beginning of a tempest that no one caught in its path would survive.

Bidam, although stunned by what he heard, was not entirely shocked for its possibility had already crossed his mind a hundred times before. He'd just been too stubborn to accept it. But now, San Tak had just confirmed his suspicions. What he felt now was not the bitter sting of betrayal but the agonizing acceptance of his own folly. He had once again fallen into a well-laid trap.

At last, his own misgivings had cost him everything that ever mattered. And he would have to pay with everything he's got.

Slowly, Bidam turned away from a visibly shaken San Tak, equally dazed but resolute in his decision to finally end this madness tonight. He knew that the path he would take now would only have one ending – destruction for them all.


	21. II - Ch 8 Painful Truths

**PART II**

 **Chapter 8. Painful Truths**

The siege on Myeongwhal Sanseong went on all through the night. Her Majesty's troops belligerently pushed the rebel troops farther inside, trapping them all together within the beleaguered fortress. All known points of exit were already under the control of the Royal forces and it was just a matter of time before all the remaining rebels were rounded up en masse. Kim Yushin's 'rising star' had so distracted the mutineers that they were easily overpowered by the onslaught of the Queen's army. Foot soldiers and officers alike had to fight their way out as the forces of Kim Yushin pursued and cornered them. The clanging of swords rang on incessantly as the two forces tenaciously fought, not only for the possession of the mountain fortress but also for the survival of the kingdom and the ideologies that they committed themselves to.

Within the inner sanctum of the fortress, the officers of Bidam's rebel army frantically gathered whatever remained of their troops for a quick and strategic retreat, believing that for their crusade to succeed they must now give up the fortress and regroup where their other supporters would be able to aid them. But as the fighting progressed and the minutes stretched into hours, it became harder and harder to muster the panicked men. Chaos reigned within the ranks as news of more officers being arrested by the invaders reached their ears. Pandemonium ensued as it became apparent that their coup d'etat had failed and each man would have to make his own way out in order to survive. The air was thick with the scent of fear and desperation as frenzied men ran for their lives.

In stark contrast to this bedlam was the eerie calmness that Bidam's figure exuded as he walked with determination and purpose towards their headquarters. His face was a mask of tranquility that belied the agonizing rage ravaging his heart and mind. He knew what to do now and he knew where to start – with the architect of all this mayhem. A wicked smile curved his lips when he saw the object of his wrath feverishly gathering the scrolls of parchments and maps that were scattered haphazardly on the large table. The man had obviously not heard his entrance and continued with his frenzied activity. It was only when the ominous ring of a sword being drawn from its scabbard reverberated in the room did the man stop what he was doing and slowly turned to face the imminent threat behind him. The man sighed in relief when he saw that it was only his master and not one of the invading forces standing there perusing him.

"Oh, it's you! You gave me a fright. Come now, Lord Bidam. I've already sent word to our supporters to meet us back at the mines. We can regroup there and besiege the Palace with more troops," Yeomjong said as he went back to what he was doing. With arms now full of all the necessary documents he turned back towards Bidam and started to leave. He paused in his tracks when he glanced at the other man and saw the murderous look in his master's eyes.

"What's wrong, my Lord? We have to hurry now before Kim Yushin finds us here. We can leave through the secret passage that we've discovered just yesterday, the one right behind this building. Quickly now, my Lord," he said pushing his way past his leader but a sudden, hard shove from Bidam's free arm sent him sprawling backward onto the nearest chair. When he looked up, he saw the gleaming sword that Bidam held in his hand and he immediately knew that something was not right.

"You! It was you all along!" Bidam said.

"What are you saying? I don't understand," Yeomjong cried, a large lump suddenly lodging inside his throat.

"The Palace guard, Heuk San. It was you who sent him," Bidam sneered at Yeomjong's sharp gasp.

"What? Are you mad? How could I…" he stopped short when he saw the futility of his denial. _He knows!_ Strangely, he felt no fear as he looked at Bidam's stormy countenance. He even found the whole situation amusing. And for the first time since he'd been subdued by his beleaguered leader Yeomjong laughed in his face.

"So, you found out about that, did you?" he chuckled softly while keeping a wary eye on Bidam's sword. "Did it surprise you much? You never suspected me, did you?"

Bidam only stared at him, his face devoid of any emotion. His calmness gave Yeomjong a boldness that he'd never felt before, making him challenge the man who used to terrify him with just a glance.

"What do you plan to do now?"

"Kill you, of course. Kill all of you."

"Why, because we failed you? Why don't you start blaming yourself instead? You're the one who failed, not us!" Yeomjong screamed.

"Me? I did nothing wrong! You're the ones who schemed and planned behind my back. You're the ones who brought us to this destruction!"

"Really? And how is that so? Are we the ones who betrayed Her Majesty? Did we tell you to do that? Did we ask you to come with us and stage this coup d'etat? Did we tell you to return that ring together with the guard's body? Did we tell you to send that proposal to the Queen?" Yeomjong's lips curled into an evil grin as he saw the horror that his words brought to Bidam's eyes. Seeing that he had the upper hand, Yeomjong continued with his tirade.

"Oh no, my dear Lord. That was all you! It was your paranoia that brought us here to this miserable end. You never trusted anyone. Not even Her Majesty. It's always been inside you, Bidam. The doubts, the insecurities, the greed! You wanted to have everything! You felt deprived of your birthright, so you took whatever power you could have and plotted to grab more."

Bidam screamed and ordered him to stop but Yeomjong plodded on, slicing through Bidam's tortured mind.

"From the very start, you were doomed. Do you know why? Because you're weak! You say you love Her Majesty, yet you cannot trust her enough to believe her. You fear everything and everyone. You hide behind that cruelty that is innate in you and pass it off as courage. But that is just a ruse, isn't it? The truth is, you're nothing but a sad, little boy who was used and abandoned when your usefulness had passed. Mishil used you against your father, the King, thinking that he would make her Queen after learning that she had given him an heir, then discarded you when he refused to acknowledge you. Munno brought you up and groomed you to regain your birthright but left you, too, when he realized your ruthless nature. Your generals and ministers supported you when they thought you would bring them more power, yet they, too, abandoned you when you pledged your loyalty to the Queen. But do you know who never, ever abandoned you? The one who, up to the very end, believed in you?" he paused to see if Bidam was still listening. He continued when he saw Bidam turn to him, his eyes blazing with undisguised hatred.

"Her Majesty! The Queen that you chose to betray. She never gave up on you! She's the only one who really accepted you for who you are. She was even willing to abdicate her throne just so she could be with you! Imagine that! And did you know that she defended you up until the very end? Up until you sent back that ring that she gave you tied around Heuk San's neck?"

Yeomjong laughed maniacally as his leader slowly slumped down on the chair beside him, his eyes flaring in disbelief as the painful realization hit him hard.

"We did not fail, Bidam. We only did what was expected of us. We knew what we wanted. But you, did you really know what you want?"

"Why?" Bidam asked, his voice barely above a whisper. Yeomjong grinned at the seemingly impertinent question.

"Why? Why what?"

"Why did you do it?"

"Heuk San? Well, why not? You needed to see for yourself what a monster you truly are. I only helped you realize that you can never be trusted, Bidam. She trusted you and tried to give you everything yet you threw it in her face. How did you repay her loyalty to you? With suspicion and condemnation! When Heuk San tried to kill you, you should've confronted the Queen and demanded an explanation. You would've known right then and there that the Queen did not send him to kill you. But coward that you are, you chose to turn against her instead. And why was that? Because that's what you are, Bidam – suspicious, insecure and vindictive.

You never did anything for anyone else. It was always about you. So I pricked that little bubble that you've created for yourself; that grand illusion that you were truly in love with the Queen. I needed to show you that you are not capable of that. Why? Because you do not know how to trust anyone, not even yourself. But take heart, my dear Bidam. All is not lost. You can still turn this around and come out the winner. And since you already know your true nature, then you can go on ahead and seize the throne without any qualms." Yeomjong said as he gathered the scrolls to him again and made for the door.

"You're wrong. I really do love her," Bidam mumbled as he stood before Yeomjong, blocking his way.

"What's that?"

"I said you're wrong, I really do love Deokman. But it doesn't matter now, does it," Bidam said as he calmly plunged his sword into Yeomjong's stomach. With a swift flick of his wrist, he twisted the lethal blade and pushed it up, brutally slicing through bone and other vital organs, ensuring the instantaneous death of its victim. Grabbing Yeomjong's tunic, Bidam pulled his sword free then casually shoved the dying man away from him.

"I did nothing wrong. I did nothing wrong," Bidam kept on repeating as he glowered at Yeomjong's now lifeless figure slumped against the opposite chair. _I did nothing wrong! Deokman, you must understand. They tricked me! They used me!_

Bidam was so lost in his thoughts that he did not hear the approaching form of his uncle, Mi Saeng, who came rushing through the door shouting for him. The older man abruptly stopped in his tracks when he saw the horrid scene before him. Instinct told him to beware and he involuntarily took a step back when Bidam's crazed eyes were slowly drawn to him, the dripping sword still tightly gripped in his right hand.

"I did nothing wrong, Uncle," Bidam said, tears brimming in his eyes.

Mi Saeng then understood what had transpired and his shoulders slumped in resignation and defeat. It really was over for them now. He saw it in Bidam's eyes.

"I knew from the start that it would come to this. I told my sister that you would not be able to do it but she still held on to the belief that you were destined for greatness. But I knew. I knew she was wrong. You were never cut out for this. You never had it in you. You were too absorbed in your feelings, in your desire to be loved that you would do anything to get it."

"What do you mean?"

"I knew your love for the Queen would be your own undoing. I wish I could've been wrong. If you had chosen to take the throne, I would've supported you up to the very end. But still, you should've known – love and power do not go together. Yet you tried to have them both. You can never be King and still have the Queen. You had to choose one or the other, but never both."

"Why are you telling me this just now? Why didn't you tell me before?"

"Oh, I told you many times, nephew. Even your mother warned you about this. We all warned you. You just chose not to listen."

"But I did nothing wrong!" Bidam screamed in defiance.

"In your eyes perhaps, but even from the start, your dream was destined to fail. You were an easy target. Your love for the Queen made you vulnerable to people like Yeomjong, people who were ruled by blind ambition. You can blame all of us for your downfall but in the end, you're the one who caused it."

"I must go to her, Uncle. I will explain to her how I'd been tricked. I must tell her! I must make amends," Bidam said, slipping his sword back into the scabbard. He then walked towards his uncle without seeing him, his glazed eyes focused on the far distance, looking forward to his reunion with the Queen.

Mi Saeng moved to stop Bidam from leaving but thought against it, convinced that nothing he would say now would stop the man from his chosen path. He silently stepped aside and watched his nephew rush out into the night, the black clouds of doom his only companion as he confronted his destiny.

"I wish I could wish you well, nephew. I wish things had turned out differently. But nothing can save us now. Nothing, not even your love."


	22. II - Ch 9 Beyond Salvation

**PART II**

 **Chapter 9. Beyond Salvation**

Kim Yushin stood at the main gate of the mountain fortress surveying the damage that the siege had brought. The bodies of dead rebels and loyal soldiers of the Queen's army alike were lined up side-by-side on the bloody ground just outside the fortress walls. They are awaiting the arrival of the carts that would transport them back to Seorabol for proper burial. The sad view reminded him of the harsh reality of war – no one really wins it, both sides suffer for it. Death is the great equalizer, afterall, and no one ever escapes it. And war, no matter how brief, only magnifies this truth. He shook his head at the senselessness of it all.

He'd been a soldier – a warrior – all his life and he'd seen the havoc that war brings countless times, yet it never fails to sadden him. Perhaps one never really gets used to death, no matter how many times one witnesses it. What is especially tragic about the death of these soldiers is the fact that they are all victims of the misguided ideologies of their own countrymen. They never should have died at the hands of people they shared the same blood with, people who'd probably even been neighbors at one time or another. It was just such a waste! And that's why the leaders who perpetrated this mutiny must be made to suffer the stiffest penalty – they must pay with their lives. Yushin believed that the higher an officer's rank is, the greater the responsibility, and the greater the accountability.

The last of the rebel officers have been rounded up and they are now being led outside the fortress, their hands tied behind their backs, all weapons and vestiges of their rank confiscated. Lined up in front are the former generals and captains of the Queen's army and the Royal Inspectorate, Lords Jujin, Ho Jae, Pil Tan and Seulbu, closely followed by their lieutenants, loyal foot soldiers and retainers. Yushin knew that all of them, regardless of rank, would share the same fate and it left a bitter taste in his mouth. These men would've lived productive lives, would've contributed to the growth and prosperity of their kingdom, they would've shared in the future glory of Silla but they wasted their lives chasing selfish aspirations. Yet, somehow he felt pity for them.

 _I must be getting old, to feel even a tiny flicker of compassion for these traitors!_ Yushin reprimanded himself.

Just as he was about to mount his horse to lead the march back to Seorabol, Im Jong and Deuk Chung came running out of the fortress to report to him.

"General, there is no sign of Mi Saeng, Bo Jong, and Ha Jong. We just came from the North Gate and no one had seen them there either," Im Jong said.

"Have you searched all the buildings inside?" Yushin asked.

"Yes, General. My men had just finished with their rounds and did not find them either." Deuk Chung replied.

"What about Bidam? Has anyone seen him?"

"He's also unaccounted for."

"They must have slipped out in the confusion of the rounding up. Question their men and see if they know anything. And try to search for hidden passages. They could've dug up a secret tunnel or something. If you still don't find them there, tell your men to widen the search area to include Yangsan and Muhwasan," Yushin instructed the two men.

"Yes, General," the two men replied in unison before they bowed and turned back to where they came from.

Yushin called one of his captains and put him in charge of the march to Seorabol. He could not leave just yet, not until Bidam had been caught and brought to justice. His blood turned cold as he thought of the man he once called friend.

 _Bidam, I swear to you that I will not rest until you have paid for what you've done. You must answer for your crimes against Silla and Her Majesty. But most importantly, you must answer to me! You promised never to hurt her but what you've done here is crushing her heart. If I have to kill you with my own bare hands, I will do it. And THAT is my promise to you!_

* * *

The make-shift camp that had been hastily put-up just the day before a few meters from Myeongwhal Sanseong was in a frenzy of activity since the Queen had arrived early that morning. Security was redoubled as news reached the camp that a few mutineers, including the Sandaedung Bidam himself, are still on the loose. Yushin and Al Cheon had rushed back to the camp when they were informed of the Queen's arrival and they were now just reporting the result of the siege to her.

"Your Majesty, we've taken over the fortress. The rebels have been rounded up and are on their way back to the Seorabol garrison. We are still tracking down the few that have escaped," Yushin said.

"I've always had full confidence in you, General. I knew you would be able to defeat them easily," the Queen replied, smiling weakly at Yushin. She still hasn't fully recovered from last night's bout with her affliction but she just could not stay away. She needed to be there. She needed to know, to see first-hand, the complete routing out of the rebels. And she must be there when Bidam is arrested.

"Bidam is among the missing," Yushin said, as if sensing her thoughts.

The Queen just nodded. The awkward silence that followed however, told her that her long-time friend had something more to say.

"What is it, General? I sense that there's something else you'd like to ask me," she said, smiling encouragingly at Yushin.

Yushin hesitated and glanced at Al Cheon. A silent question must have passed between them as Al Cheon nodded his agreement.

"What would happen to Bidam? What would you do with him when we arrest him?"

 _Would you let us take him or would you spare him again?_ Yushin wanted to add but could not.

The Queen was saddened by the obvious doubt that her friend harbored against her. She could not blame him, though. She had publicly declared her partiality to Bidam when she chose him to be her husband. And Yushin knew that she did not do it for political reasons so it was only natural for him to fear that when the time came she would not be able to stand by her previous decision.

"Why do you ask me that now, General? Have I not declared him an enemy of the state and ordered his arrest? Have I not stripped him of his rank and office? Have I not issued an edict for the execution of all traitors? To me, he is nothing more than a common criminal and would be treated as such." _Regardless of what I feel for him…_

Yushin nodded, suddenly embarrassed by his lack of faith. He should have known that the Queen never went back on her word, no matter how much it pained her. And he knew that what she did had been tearing at her heart from the moment she'd signed that edict. Never had he met anyone with as much integrity and sense of duty as the Queen.

After a few minutes, Yushin and Al Cheon excused themselves so they could go back to the monitoring of the search for the missing rebels and the Queen was left alone in her tent. She would've gone out with them but the sudden pain that slashed through her insides made her weak and dizzy. She knew she had to reserve whatever strength she had left so she could see this thing through. Any sign of weakness from her would only dishearten her people. The battle for the fortress may be over but she knew that the war has not been completely won yet. Not until Bidam was apprehended and brought to justice. And for that, she would not only need strength of body, but strength of mind and heart as well. For it would take all of her self-control and the unbreakable iron will that she had cultivated all these years to witness the downfall of the only man she had ever truly loved.

 _Oh, Bidam! Why did it have to come to this? Why couldn't you have just trusted me? Where has that devotion that you so flaunted to me gone to?_

As the Queen paced the scattered carpets that served as flooring of her make-shift tent, she thought of how she could've changed things. Should she have taken Bidam into confidence and told him of his plan to abdicate? Maybe she did not assure him enough. Maybe she should have been more demonstrative of her real feelings for him. Maybe…

She shook her head as the reality of their situation's futility enveloped her. It's too late to change anything now. No matter how many times she blamed herself or Bidam, nothing would ever change – they can no longer be together. And even if she chose to rescind her order of death, he still would be exiled and branded a traitor, not fit even to be consort to the Queen of Silla, much less her husband.

All that pacing and worrying soon started to take its toll. The Queen felt her knees getting weaker, her chest tightening and her vision blurring. Without anyone to assist her, the Queen slowly moved to the cushioned chair placed behind her desk. With shaking hands she poured herself a glass of water then slowly sipped the cold liquid to quench the fire that was burning her insides. She took deep, calming breaths, just as her physician had taught her. Her rapid heartbeat gradually slowed down, the constriction on her chest alleviating. She leaned back in her chair and closed her eyes.

 _Bidam, I can't do this anymore. I can't bear the pain any longer. I wish I could see you, hold you close, just one more time before I go._

As she started to drift off, a series of thunderous cheers reached her ears. Loud, crunching footsteps rushing towards her tent told her that she would soon be having company. Straightening in her chair, the Queen endeavored to present a strong mien before his men. Any sign of weakness on her part would only dampen their spirits. Just as she'd predicted, Al Cheon and Yushin came rushing into her tent.

"Your Majesty, several of the soldiers have returned. They've apprehended Mi Saeng and Ha Jong. They were found near the tomb of Lady Mishil and are now being escorted back to Myeongwal Sanseong," Yushin reported.

The Queen nodded and smiled. "Good work, General. I hope we didn't suffer any casualties during their arrest." She did not want to lose any more of her good men.

Yushin shook his head and smiled. "None, Your Majesty. They surrendered peacefully and without resistance."

"They did not even bring men with them. It seemed like they were just waiting to be apprehended," Al Cheon remarked.

The Queen nodded in acknowledgment, her thoughts turning towards a more personal concern.  
 _But what about Bidam? Where could he be?_ Strangely, the possibility that Bidam could've successfully evaded arrest and gotten away clean brought her not anger and frustration, but rather peace and relief. Was Yushin right in thinking that she really would not be able to stand by her word and have Bidam executed? The thought chilled her.

Just as the Queen wrestled with her own inner anxieties, another loud commotion was heard from outside. This time, though, it was not loud cheering that reached them, it was more the sound of terror and panic. Yushin and Al Cheon made to leave the tent but before they could do so, a breathless Im Jong came charging through.

"Your Majesty, Lord Bidam has just been sighted a short distance from here. He's broken through our first defensive line and is now slashing his way towards our camp."

"What? How many men does he have with him?" Yushin asked.

Im Jong swallowed hard before answering, "No one, sir. He's alone."

Yushin and Al Cheon glanced towards the Queen and saw the dread that they felt reflected in her eyes. Bidam did not come to do battle with them. He came to die.


	23. II - Ch 10 The Road to Destruction

**PART II**

 **Chapter 10. The Road to Destruction**

The crisp morning air brought a different kind of chill to the two men traversing the road outside Myeongwhal Sanseong. It was a coldness that permeated their skin, their hearts, and their very souls. The total defeat of their rebel forces crushed not only their dreams but their hopes as well. And as San Tak trudged behind the stooped figure of his master, he could not help but wonder at the future that lay before them.

All his life, San Tak had been subject to the whims and dictates of his betters. He was a simple man and he never nurtured any real ambition for himself. He joined the army not because he harbored any aspirations for greatness. He did it to ensure the survival of his family. Life as a peasant brought nothing but pain and misery. They lived and died without consequence. Their births and deaths recorded as a mere statistic, an aside in a noble's tally of his properties and resources. His wages as a soldier ensured that his parents and siblings would have more than enough to fend for themselves. It guaranteed independence from the usury of the less than honorable landowners who took more than was required, leaving their tenants destitute and on the verge of starvation.

A soldier's life is no walk in the park, either. They faced constant danger, especially during times of war where they lose control of their fates once they step into the battlefield. But at least it provided a steady income and even special perks and privileges at times, depending on their commander. It also brought a sense of direction and purpose, a hope for a brighter future. A lot of peasant-born soldiers have advanced through the ranks and moved up a few notches higher up the rungs of society; a few even married into nobility or the richer merchant class.

But San Tak had no such delusions. He knew he did not have the knack or the sophistication for such endeavors. Politics meant nothing to him. He was content to serve and to follow. What he lacked in skills, he made up for in unquestioning loyalty and unwavering zeal. He faced the bleak existence of a serf and when Lady Mishil recruited him with the promise of a better future for his family, he did not entertain any second thoughts. In his simple way of thinking, she was his savior and so deserved nothing but his total fidelity and servitude. When she passed away it seemed only natural for him to transfer his loyalty to her son.

That is why, even after a lot of his comrades went their own way and abandoned their leader, San Tak remained by Bidam's side. He felt the stirrings of apprehension, however, when he realized that his master was moving towards the Queen's encampment and not seeking refuge for himself.

"Forgive me, my Lord, but isn't this the way leading to the Queen's camp?" he asked as he ran towards his master's side.

Bidam slightly turned towards him, surprise written in his eyes as he looked at San Tak, apparently unaware of his presence. Then the resignation that San Tak had seen earlier in his face returned and Bidam resumed his trance-like walk towards the camp.

Panic now started creeping up San Tak and he moved to block Bidam's path.

"My Lord, please. We have to get away from here. I'm sure the other generals are waiting for you at the mines. We can still make it if we leave now," he pleaded.

Bidam stopped in front of him but his gaze was still fixed towards the direction of the Queen's camp. San Tak waited for his master to speak but he only pushed past him and started walking towards the camp again.

San Tak feared that the shock of their coup's failure had driven his master into despair and was now determined to take on the Queen's forces on his own. He knew that he was never good with words, but he had to try to break through his master's stupor so they could make their escape. Squaring his shoulders, San Tak darted in front of Bidam and grabbed his arm.

"Lord Bidam, we can still get to the mines undetected. I know a secret path through the forest that will lead us directly to it. Please, my Lord, we have to go quickly!" he cried, his desperation now seeping into his voice. Bidam remained staring far beyond him so San Tak shook his master's arm to gain his attention.

Slowly, Bidam's crazed eyes turned towards him, and San Tak reflexively stepped back, fear savagely twisting his guts. San Tak knew of Bidam's violent outbursts and seeing his master's hand instinctively going to the sword's handle sent shivers down his spine. But Bidam's sword arm relaxed as his shoulders slumped down, his eyes finally focusing on San Tak. A soft, sad smile came into his handsome face. Shaking his head, Bidam walked towards San Tak, his hand casually resting on the other man's shoulder.

"You go on ahead. I still have unfinished business here," Bidam said, his voice barely above a whisper.

San Tak was about to ask what that 'unfinished business' was when Bidam spoke again.

"I need to deliver my report to the Queen. I'm sure she's waiting for me," Bidam said in his strange, lifeless voice, his feet moving again towards the path.

San Tak's insides turned cold as he realized that his master was worse than he'd thought. He seemed oblivious to what really happened in the mountain fortress. Swallowing his fear, San Tak moved closer to his master and tried again to engage him in conversation.

"But, My Lord, you cannot go there now. You'll surely be arrested! Please, let's do this another day. We can send an emissary to the Queen later."

Bidam looked down at him and smiled his sad smile of resignation.

"No. I have to do it now. I will just speak with her."

"Then I'll go with you, my Lord."

"No. I have to do this alone."

"But, my Lord," San Tak's protestation was cut short when Bidam turned and grabbed him by the shoulder.

"No! You can't come with me. I must go alone!"

San Tak shook at the vehemence in the other man's words. Bidam's gaze softened when he apparently felt San Tak's terror. Then, his hand moved inside his tunic and took out a large, tasseled gold badge. His arm stretched towards San Tak.

"Take this with you. I'm sure this will fetch a good price wherever you go. It will be enough to get you started."

San Tak looked down at the badge and gasped as he recognized it to be the one that was given to Bidam when he became the Sangdaedung, the official emblem of his office. Shaking his head, San Tak stepped back and refused the offering.

"Please, this is the least that I can do for you. I wish I could give you more but this is all I have left. You've been a good and loyal soldier and you don't deserve to share my fate," Bidam said as he took San Tak's hand and placed the badge in his open palm.

"Go now, before they find us. Go far away from here, as far as you can go. And never, ever look back. Sell your sword and buy a plow or a spade. Start over and live your life peacefully. Don't take up a sword ever again. Unlike me, your fate hasn't been decided for you yet. You can still live your own life."

San Tak's heart clenched as he comprehended what his master intended to do. Bidam had not lost his mind; he knew exactly what he would be facing once he got to the Queen's camp. His admiration and pride for his master's courage soared inside him and he clutched the badge close to his chest. But still, he must try one last time to dissuade the Sangdaedung from his set path.

"Why don't you come with me then, my Lord? We could go far away from here. We could start over and become farmers. Take peasant wives and have dozens of children," San Tak chuckled nervously, desperately trying to inject humor into their situation.

Bidam shook his head and smiled dejectedly at him, his hand absently caressing the hilt of his sword.

"It's too late for me, San Tak. I cannot run away anymore. And I cannot undo what I've done. I've accepted my fate. I just want to see her one more time."

"Who, my Lord? Who is it that you must see?"

Bidam turned towards the direction of the camp and sighed. "Someone I've hurt and let down so terribly, someone who means the world to me. I need to ask her forgiveness."

San Tak at last understood. His master's torment did not come from their coup's failure but from his regret at losing the Queen. Rumor has it that the marriage between the Sangdaedung and the Queen was for political purposes only, but now, seeing the pain and remorse in his master's eyes, San Tak knew that it was the farthest thing from the truth. Lord Bidam really did love the Queen.

With one last nod in his direction, Bidam turned away from him and continued on towards the Queen's encampment.

San Tak wanted to follow his master but he felt compelled to respect his wishes. As he looked at the Sangdaedung's retreating form, San Tak went down on his knees and gave his last salutation to his master. He knew that it would be the last time that he would be doing such a thing. He would go far, far away, and live in obscurity; away from the nobles, away from the intrigues and politics of the capital.

After a while, San Tak got up on his feet and gave another last bow to his master. He stashed the badge inside his tunic and turned the opposite direction to start his own journey, determined to fulfill his master's final instructions.

The first arrow that hit him squarely in the chest caught him by surprise. The pain did not even register in his brain until he saw the wooden shaft protruding from his body. He looked up to see the origin of the deadly projectile and panic immediately shot through him as he saw the platoon of soldiers purposely bearing down on him.

Instinct told him to run to the trees and seek shelter for himself but his sense of duty urged him to alert his master to the imminent danger first. He twisted around to shout his warning but as three more arrows slammed into his back, effectively slicing through his rib cage and puncturing both lungs, the scream that should've issued from his lips came out as a violent yet soundless spray of blood and air.

Strangely, as he slowly fell down this lonely, dusty road that lay just beyond the shadow of Myeongwhal Sanseong, he felt no regret or grief for himself. What he felt was sorrow at the hopelessness of his master's fate.

And so when he looked up, and his rapidly blurring eyes caught sight of Bidam's trademark battle stance with his drawn sword glinting defiantly against the morning light, the dark gloom that enveloped his heart was lifted. Definitely a most beautiful sight for a fallen he

 _That's it, my Lord. Give them hell and avenge us all_ , he thought before he finally gave in to the darkness and quietly breathed his last.


	24. II - Ch 11 The Last True Bone Prince

**PART II**

 **Chapter 11. The Last True Bone Prince of Silla**

Bidam gave his last retainer, San Tak, one last nod of farewell before turning away from him and fixing his eyes on the road that would bring him to the Queen. He knew that only death awaited him at the end of this road but he would take it nonetheless. If it was the only way to atone for his sins, he would gladly face it. He just needed to speak to her first so he could ask for her forgiveness and tell her that everything he did, he did for them.

San Tak had been a dependable and loyal soldier and Bidam knew that he would've stayed with him until the very end. But Bidam had had enough of people dying for his sake and San Tak deserved a fresh start, a new beginning. He did not deserve to share in Bidam's fate. So it was with a lighter heart that he continued trudging along the lonely road that he'd chosen for himself. At least, one of them would be able to leave all these tragedy behind them intact.

Muted footsteps from behind him reached his ears and it instantly prickled his warrior's instincts. His hand intuitively went to the hilt of his sword as he slowly turned to look behind him. And there, just a few meters from him lay San Tak, his body riddled with arrows, blood gently pooling beneath him. Bidam's blood boiled at the sight of his fallen retainer.

Looking up, just behind the outcropping of bushes, he saw archers sprawled on their bellies, their deadly crossbows trained on him. Farther up, behind the line of archers, several soldiers from the Queen's army also stood.

"Bidam! Surrender now! We have instructions to kill you should you resist arrest!" a voice called out to him.

Bidam unsheathed his sword and assumed his famous battle stance. "Well then, why don't you show yourself and try to arrest me. Or are you afraid to face one man?" he replied tauntingly.

From behind the row of archers, Bak Uei strode forward, swinging his trademark halberd, a formidable weapon with an elongated pike head attached to the end of a long wooden staff. Few men knew how to handle such a heavy weapon but Bak Uei, with his thick, muscled arms and wide chest, twirled it around like it was nothing. His expertise with it was also legendary, having felled countless men with it in the battlefield.

A lesser man would have cowered at facing such an opponent, but Bidam stood before him without even blinking an eye. He knew that when it came to battle skills, he outranked the other man by more than a few notches. The fact that there were about a dozen soldiers standing behind Bak Uei did not daunt Bidam either. He could get rid of them in a heartbeat. The archers he did not even bother taking them into account; they would not risk firing at him for fear of hitting their compatriots.

"Bidam, we are instructed to place you under arrest for the crimes of sedition and high treason. Put down your sword and come with us peacefully," Bak Uei declared, his halberd pointed menacingly at Bidam.

"Then come and arrest me. The man who kills me will have his name written down in history," Bidam replied, a lopsided grin gracing his lips.

Seeing that Bidam had no intention of surrendering peaceably, Bak Uei then screamed his battle cry as he charged against Bidam, his halberd twisting ominously in his hand. The soldiers behind him followed suit and scrambled towards the Sangdaedung, their swords poised to engage their lone adversary.

Bidam grinned, his eyes glinting malevolently at his challengers, adrenalin pumping wildly inside his veins as he anticipated the scent of blood. _Let the games begin!_

The Queen had been pacing inside her tent ever since Al Cheon and Yushin had left her earlier to inspect the security measures that they've placed at the camp's entrance. Now, left on her own, the Queen could not help but worry about the fate of her former intended. She tried to put him out of her mind, but that would be like damming the flow of a river – held back but never completely suppressed.

The painful drumming inside her chest made her sit back on her chair. No use expending what little was left of her energy with her useless patrolling the insides of her tent. She needed to reserve her strength for the ordeal that would surely come. She might have ordered the arrest and execution of Bidam but it did not mean that she had already stopped loving him. When the time came for her to make good on her word, pain would be its companion and she needed to prepare for that.

Her tent flap opened and her two generals, Al Cheon and Yushin entered without preamble.

"Your Majesty, everything is in place. We've doubled the security at the entrance of the camp and have already summoned Gen. Wolya from the garrison. We will have more archers to protect your tent," Yushin reported.

"I've ordered the infantry to form ranks should Bidam successfully penetrate the outer defenses, Your Majesty," said Al Cheon.

The Queen nodded and thanked them for the information. A loud commotion from outside made them all turn towards the opening of the tent. A pale-faced Imjong rushed through and bowed before them.

"Your Majesty, Lord Bidam got past the infantry and is now moving towards your tent. We tried to arrest him but he was able to cut down anyone who tried to come before him."

Both Yushin and Al Cheon turned to Queen who immediately came to her feet at Im Jong's entrance. Yushin had to tamp down his of anger when he saw how tightly the Queen gripped the edge of her desk, her pale face etched in worry and dread. He knew that it was not fear for herself that brought on that anxiety.

 _Even now, she still worries about him. Damn you, Bidam! You will pay for this!_

"I will deal with him myself, Your Majesty," Yushin said. Then he turned and rushed out of the tent before the Queen could react to his statement. He stopped short in his tracks when he was immediately met with the carnage that Bidam had left in his wake.

The front line of the defenders was completely decimated. Bodies were strewn everywhere, and on the sidelines, a few more were sprawled as some of the uninjured tried to attend to their wounded comrades.

And just a few meters away, amidst all the chaos and bloodshed stood Bidam, his crazed eyes intensely focused on the Queen's tent, his bloody sword dripping menacingly at his side.

 _Let's finish this now, Bidam! Enough of this childish tantrum of yours. Let's do this man-to-man!_ Yushin thought as his hand instinctively went to the hilt of his sword and walked towards his life-long nemesis.

Bidam had reached the camp easily enough. The encounter with Bak Uei's men was child's play to him. Even the formidable Bak Uei was easily evaded. He purposely did not engage him in a prolonged battle, so he employed his most evasive tactics and extricated himself from the skirmish with nary a scratch.

By the time the other man realized his intentions, Bidam had already gained much ground and had actually been at spitting distance from the Queen's camp. He turned tail and rushed for the camp, with Bak Uei and what little else was left of his contingent, hot on his heels. But still, it did not deter him from pursuing his ultimate goal – to reach the camp and speak with the Queen.

The first few meters were gained with much bloodshed. He had to literally cut through the frontline and relieve the Queen's army by about a fourth of its men. Upon breaching the camp's defence line, he found himself facing at least two dozen more of the Queen's defenders. Bidam circled on his feet quickly, his now dripping sword slashing left and right, efficiently cutting their numbers in half. The remaining ones then enclosed him inside a tight circle, their drawn swords poised to strike at him at the slightest provocation. He knew that he would not be able to deal with all of them at the same time without getting injured in the process. He needed to confuse them by doing something they had never been trained for so he employed a simple technique that Munno had taught him before.

Cutting a long strip of cloth from his tunic, he tied one end to the hilt of his sword, while the other was wound around his hand. He then twirled the length of cloth above his head as the sword spun dangerously with it. The soldiers had no choice but to spread out to protect themselves from the whirling blade. This made it easy for him to pick them out one by one. He would jerk the cloth towards him then with a flick of his wrist, the sword would be launched like a missile with the blade plunging deep into his target's body. Soon enough, the soldiers around him were falling like flies.

Bidam heard Yushin's cry before he saw him. It took a while before the other man's words registered inside his brain. He was so intent on reaching the Queen's tent that he hardly noticed anything else.

Now Yushin was taking matters unto himself. He looked impressive in his armor but Bidam felt no fear. He stood his ground and waited for the Queen's general to approach him. Yushin stopped just a few feet before him, his eyes blazing with something that Bidam could not identify.

"Enough, Bidam! Stop this now. Come peaceably with me. You have been charged with rebellion and high treason. Stop this massacre now!" Yushin said, his voice trembling with barely controlled fury.

"No. I need to do this, Yushin," Bidam replied.

"Give up now, Bidam. It's time to let go of your dreams of grandiosity."

 _Grandiosity? He thinks I'm doing this for the crown?_

His mother's words came back to taunt him. 'Those who succumb to the weakness of their heart can never endeavor to rule. Only the strong, the ruthless, can ever deserve to wear the crown." He chuckled softly, the irony of Yushin's words was like an ax hitting him in his guts.

 _Oh Yushin, how foolish you are to think that I'm doing this for something as fleeting as power. But Mishil knew me better than I did my own self. You knew even then, didn't you, mother? You knew that my own heart would be my undoing._

He looked up to find Yushin eyeing him warily. His hand remained on his sword hilt and Bidam knew that his opponent could easily unsheathe it in a blink of an eye. He also knew that he could just as easily cut him down if he wanted to. Masterful as Yushin was with his sword, he was no match for Bidam's expertise. A flurry of movement beyond Yushin caught Bidam's eye. It was the Queen's emblem waving atop the farthest tent in the camp.

"Is she there? Is my Queen waiting for me?" Bidam asked, looking past Yushin, straining his neck to catch a glimpse of his beloved Queen.

Sighing deeply, Yushin shook his head and replied, his voice losing its former hostility, "Bidam, enough of this. Please, stop it now. You've done too much already."

Bidam turned back to his former ally and was taken aback by the pity and regret that he found in the eyes that were looking back at him.

 _Do not pity me, Yushin. My ordeal would soon be over, while you will continue to pine for something you will never have._

"You know, I just realized that we never really did finish that duel," he said, referring to their aborted duel during the Hwarang competition when they were younger.

Bidam had joined the competition to ensure that Yushin's victory so he could become the next Pungweoljo, but their final duel was stopped short when suspicion of their collusion was brought to light. Yushin did not know about Bidam's plan and had been furious at his audacity. And Bidam did not tell him that he did it to help the Princess Deokman.

"Yes, I believe we did not really know who would've won between us, right?" Bidam reiterated.

Yushin looked incredulous, his eyes narrowing in suspicion. He seemed to debate with himself but after a few beats, he sighed and reluctantly unsheathed his sword. Then he assumed battle stance, his gleaming sword now poised and ready for combat.

"Well, then perhaps we should find out now," he said.

Bidam smiled within, _You really are so easy to read, my friend. I knew you wouldn't be able to pass up the chance to settle an old score. I'm afraid I'd have to disappoint you, however._

He stretched the length of cloth attached to his sword then slowly wrapped it around his arm. It limited the mobility of his sword but it also ensured that it would never slip out of his hand. Assuming his famous battle stance, Bidam gave Yushin a lopsided smile.

"Let's get to it, then, my friend," he said.

Yushin lifted his sword and moved to strike Bidam. He knew Yushin had anticipated him to parry his attack. But Bidam had no plans of engaging Yushin in battle. So, instead of doing what was expected of him, Bidam swung to his left then leaped up his feet and somersaulted above Yushin, effectively landing in the middle of a group of soldiers, way beyond his opponent's reach.

And now, as he turned away from Yushin he was met by a new challenge. The next contingent of soldiers was much better protected than the first ones. They all held large, iron shields which they placed before them, forming a virtual wall of defense. A lopsided smile creased Bidam's handsome face. Fools! Did they think that would stop him? It was just a matter of leaping over their ranks and he could easily cut his way through them.

The soldiers, however, were much better prepared than he had expected. Anticipating his move, the ones in the middle lifted their shields above their heads for protection. But Bidam still was not to be deterred. In one swift move, he leapt up and ran atop the shields. The men below tried to throw him off but he was too fast for them. Seeing that they would not be able to dislodge him, they settled for stabbing him through the slim openings between their shields. He was able to avoid the first few but as the soldiers followed the example of their companions, more swords went slashing through the gaps and Bidam found it hard to avoid every one of them. The first stab caught his right shin and caused him to lose his balance. Another one grazed his knee. To avoid being impaled, Bidam jumped away and landed before another group of soldiers that immediately commenced their attack on him. He was effectively eliminating his opposition with his superior swordsmanship when he heard the voice of Wolya directing his archers to stand fast and prepare their crossbows.

Concentrating on several attackers all at once was difficult enough without the aggravation of having to divide it with another more dangerous threat. But as more than a few arrows started whizzing past him, Bidam had to take a more defensive stance if he planned on reaching the Queen before he was overcome by the deadly projectiles. It seemed like the Queen's tent was still a long ways off but he was encouraged when upon looking up he saw the Queen standing just outside the opening of her tent. Using the body of one of the dead soldiers as shield, he continued moving forward. There were three rows of archers but each archer could only fire one arrow at a time, so when he felt like the soldiers were reloading he let go of his shield and started to rush towards the Queen.

He realized his mistake just as soon as the first arrow slammed against his chest. The pain was tolerable, but it took a great deal of his strength just to remain upright. Two more arrows followed suit hitting him squarely in his abdomen. The impact sent him doubling over to his knees. Only the sword that was still tied to his arm supported his weight and prevented him from sprawling down on the dirt. The adrenaline still running through his veins made him immune to the pain but he could feel his strength seeping slowly out of him. The metallic taste in his mouth told him that he was already bleeding internally, probably from the puncture wounds made by the arrows. There was fluid flooding his mouth and it made him gag. When he spit out the vile-tasting fluid a cold sweat broke out on his brows. The thick texture and dark colouring of the blood were clear indications that a vital organ has been hit. He was dying.

 _No! No! Not yet! Not until I've spoken to her. Not until I get to tell her that I did it for us!_

His thoughts galvanized him and with the last burst of his strength he charged against the soldiers blocking his path. Bodies started falling left and right as his sword slashed again and again. He pirouetted to avoid the glistening blades hacking at him. He kicked and punched his way through the throng until he finally found himself just a few feet away from the Queen.

 _Deokman! Just a few steps more and I would be with you._

He felt cold, his limbs now heavy and numb while his breathing was ragged and shallow. Yet still, he persisted. Shaking fingers instinctively went to his throbbing side. When he lifted it his hand, it came away red and sticky with fresh blood. There were other aches now blossoming in different parts of his body but he did not bother to inspect them. He knew his lifeblood was slowly leaking out of him.

He would've collapsed at that instant had he not caught sight of the Queen. She was standing so still she could've easily been an apparition, but the tears streaking down her ashen face assured him that she was real.

 _No, my Deokman. Please, do not cry. Not for me, I don't deserve it. I just want to hold your hand one last time!_

He wanted to scream, to tell her that he was sorry for causing her so much pain, for not trusting her enough. But his throat seemed to have closed up and all he could manage was a dry, croaking sound that barely resembled his voice. The world started spinning around him and he fought to keep his eyes focused on the Queen's beautiful face. He heard voices screaming at him but his befuddled mind could not make out the words. All he could see was the Queen's grief-stricken face swimming before him. He started counting the paces left before he could reach his beloved Deokman.

A new pain on his back caused him to stumble. He looked around and found Bak Uei hovering just behind him. Was he dreaming? He'd already left him outside the camp, how could he be here now? Another slash on his right made him turn towards the source of his new pain. It was Al Cheon, but with a look of hatred that he'd never seen on him before. Then there was Yushin, standing belligerently before him. He tried to hit Yushin with his sword but his arm was nothing more than a useless appendage now.

 _Ten more steps and I would reach Deokman. Oh, my Deokman. Please stop crying, I'm here now. Everything will be alright now._

He took another step but Yushin was still blocking his path. He forced himself to push the man away but he grabbed hold of his arm, stopping him from moving forward.

"Yushin, please. Just let me speak to her. I won't harm her. Please," he whispered as he leaned against Yushin's shoulder.

"No, Bidam. This has gone long 've been charged with treason. You can't speak to her anymore."

Panic seized Bidam's heart and he struggled against Yushin's hold. He stretched out his hand towards the Queen and what he thought was a scream came out as nothing more than a ragged whisper – "No! Deokmana! Deokmana! Please!"

He felt Yushin stiffen against him, then as Yushin's sword sliced through him one final time, an excruciating pain, one he'd never experienced before, bloomed inside the pit of his stomach and radiated up his whole body. Blood rushed up his throat and dribbled down his chin. Another agonizing pain coursed through him when the sword was withdrawn and with it Yushin's supporting arms.

The air was now heavy with the stench of death, his own fear mixing with the putrid aroma of his leaking bodily fluids. He sensed the cold hands of death dragging him down but he refused to concede defeat. Not just yet. He still had one more task to finish. But his battered body no longer had any strength to give and his legs started to give way.

 _Deokmana! Deokmana! Please, forgive me. I did not mean to hurt you. I will always love you, Deokmana!_ In his mind, he was screaming these words but in truth not even one escaped his lips for his body was now shutting down – giving in to the bittersweet embrace of death.

And as his body silently crumpled down to the ground, its shaking hands outstretched in a silent plea towards the only woman he had ever loved, the last thought that pervaded his mind was of his beloved Deokman smiling up at him as she breathed in the fresh fragrance of the wildflowers he had given her for her birthday.

Then, at last, Bidam, the true sacred-bone prince of Silla, finally succumbed to the darkness and began his long walk towards eternity.


	25. II - Ch 12 A Final Farewell

**PART II**

 **Chapter 12. A Final Farewell**

The sudden hush that descended over the camp after Bidam's fall was unnerving and eerie. It was an awkward silence brought forth by uncertainty and embarrassment. The Queen knew that had it not been her betrothed lying dead on the ground, had it been any other rebel brought to heel, the crowd would now be breaking into shouts of joy and triumph.

She should be thankful, therefore, that they were conscientious enough to take her feelings into consideration. But then, their silence also told her that they saw her, first and foremost, as a woman – easily dictated and controlled by her emotions, and not as their leader – which should not be the case. She could not deny that the previous events had taken such a big toll on her, both emotionally and physically, that only by sheer willpower was she able to withstand the agony of its unfolding. Her subjects, however, should never doubt her capacity to rule as their Queen. So, instead of giving into the turbulence inside her, she mustered the last of her strength and addressed the crowd before her

"Our Heavenly Kingdom is finally at peace. Everyone involved in the rebellion had been rounded up and will be dealt with accordingly. But we must not be complacent. Let the events of the past few days be a constant reminder to us that we must not waver in our goals. We must continue to strive to uplift the standard of living of our people, root out those who are abusing their position and authority, tamp down corruption at its root, strengthen our defenses and give our all to the country that we love. Together, we will bring our Heavenly Kingdom to greater glory! Let this be the goal of every citizen of Silla!"

Her speech was met with thunderous cheers of 'Long live the Queen, Long live Silla' led by her officers, Yushin and Al Cheon.

But as she looked down at the body of her beloved, all noise was blocked out by the thundering beat of her heart. The air suddenly turned hot and oppressive. Because as she now gazed at her betrothed's lifeless form, she could not help but relive the moments before his final downfall. How she wanted to scream for them to stop, to run to his side and shield him from the vicious blows being dealt him. How she fought so hard to restrain her urge to put her own body between him and his executioners. How she bit her lips to refrain from calling out to him.

It was hell on earth for her – watching how they slowly cut him down, how the arrows savagely pierced his body, how his strength finally seeped out from his wounds. Now, it was her strength that was seeping out through her tears. And as the thunderous cheers of her men echoed inside her head, the Queen saw the world spinning around her. She fought to stay upright, but her body finally gave up and collapsed on the ground, just a few steps from her beloved's still form.

 _Oh, Bidam! Forgive me! I was not able to protect you. I'm sorry, my love, but I had no choice. I had to do my duty to the people. Please forgive me..._

They were now lying face-to-face, 6 paces apart; hot tears now flowing freely as she lifted her arm and tried to reach for Bidam's hand. Darkness was slowly enveloping her and tried as hard as she might, she could not bridge the distance between them. She could see the sun shining down on her face, yet there was no warmth, only a pervading cold that forced her body to welcome the silent bliss of oblivion.

* * *

The Queen slowly woke up to the ministrations of a tender hand. When she opened her eyes, she was greeted by the smiling face of Lady Mangmyeong, Yushin's mother. The elder woman had personally been seeing to the Queen's welfare for years now; just right after the Queen Mother had elected to be a tonsured servant in the temple where the King was buried.

Her head still ached and her limbs had as yet to recover its usual strength but the concern flickering just beneath Lady Mangmyeong's eyes was enough to make her rise from her bed. She did not want to give the gentle lady anymore cause for worry.

"Good morning, Your Majesty. I'm glad you're awake now," Lady Mangmyeong said as she helped the Queen sit up on her bed.

"How long have I been sleeping?"

"You've been asleep for three days, Your Majesty. We were really worried for you."

 _So, it's been three days since I've lost you, my love. How long must I endure?_

Her heart constricted as she thought of her lost love. _No, we must wait awhile; there are still things to take care of._

Her reverie was interrupted when Chief Al Cheon entered, his bright smile indicating that he had already been told of her miraculous recovery.

"Your Majesty! Thank the gods, you've already woken."

"Yes, Chief Al Cheon. I'm glad to see you're doing well, too. I'm sorry to have worried you all. Now, there is something I'd like you to do."

"Anything, Your Majesty. I'm your servant."

"I would like you to assume the post of Sangdaedung," the Queen said, smiling at her long-time friend and confidant. If anyone deserved the position, it was no other than Al Cheon. He has the resilience, the fortitude and the integrity the position requires.

"Your Majesty! I don't think I deserve such a position. I'm just a simple soldier," Al Cheon replied, surprised at the Queen's magnanimous offer.

"Of course you do. You are more than qualified and you do deserve it. Our country would be privileged to have you as its Sangdaedung. Please, accede to my request."

"But shouldn't this appointment go through the council first?"

The Queen could not help but smile at her friend's sense of propriety. It further strengthened her belief that Al Cheon would make a great Sangdaedung.

"The appointment had already been approved by the Council. I've made the motion right after Lord Bidam was declared an enemy of the state," the last statement brought a new ache to her heart.

Al Cheon finally nodded, seeing the pain that flickered in his Queen's eyes. He knew how that simple statement had stabbed through her heart and he did not wish to let her dwell on the matter much farther.

"Thank you, Your Majesty, for trusting me with such an endeavor. I will try my best to not disappoint you," Al Cheon said, bowing to the Queen in gratitude.

"I know you won't. And thank you for accepting. Now, can you please send someone to ask Gen. Kim Yushin if I could have a private word with him?"

"Yes, Your Majesty. I will tell him myself," Al Cheon said before turning to leave. He gave the Queen one last look, his heart going out to the woman who was now mourning a loss that she could never share with anyone.

 _Don't worry, Your Majesty. All will be well from now on_. _I will make sure that no one will hurt you again._

Little did he know that such a responsibility would soon be taken out of his hands.

* * *

Yushin had been pacing the floor when Al Cheon came to tell him of the Queen's summons. Relief immediately washed over him upon hearing of the Queen's recovery. He wasted no time in responding to the Queen's summons and immediately left for the palace.

The past three nights had been hell for him. The royal physician could not give them any conclusive diagnosis about the Queen's condition and Yushin had to restrain himself from having the old man thrashed for insolence. All he could tell them was that the Queen seemed to be locked within herself, isolated and unreachable.

That it was something very obvious to any man who would lay eyes on the Queen was the reason why Yushin wanted the impertinent physician thrown into the dungeons. What he wanted to know was the reason why she fell into such a state and what they could do to remedy it, but the old man refused to even speculate on it. He said that only the Queen could make herself come out of her coma. That is if she still had the will to live.

And now, as Yushin sat before the Queen, his old apprehensions about her condition returned. She was barely a shadow of her former self. Gone was the strong, iron-willed monarch that he had always admired. In her place was a frail-looking, woeful version of the woman she once was. Yushin's heart clenched at the thought that he was now looking at a warrior who had won the battle but lost the war. The Queen may have triumphed over her enemies, but she had lost her own heart in the process. Somehow, he knew that she summoned him not to discuss the state of the nation but for something much more personal. And it was what he had dreaded.

"Your Majesty, I am glad that you have finally recovered," Yushin said.

"Yes. I did not realize I had slept that long. I must've been much more exhausted than I thought," the Queen replied, her sad smile barely reaching her eyes.

He nodded and waited. He knew there was something else on her mind. She always fidgeted with her fingers whenever she was nervous. And now, she was fidgeting with her jade ring, the symbol of her power, the very same one that she had duplicated and given to Bidam.

"Do you still remember the time when Bidam posed as a prophet in order to trick Lady Mishil?" the Queen asked.

Yushin nodded. Yes, he remembered it very well. They had all been trying to discredit Lady Mishil by forcing her to make an incorrect prediction about a solar eclipse that was supposed to take place. It was what they would use to convince the people that Deokman was the long-lost sacred-bone twin princess that would bring, not a curse, but an age of glory to the kingdom of Silla. Bidam had posed as a prophet predicting the reappearance of the princess but Lady Mishil had him arrested and put on trial for being a charlatan.

"Yes, Your Majesty. I remember it very well."

"Did I ever tell you how Bidam was able to outwit Lady Mishil during his trial?"

"No, Your Majesty. I'm afraid I have not heard that yet."

"My father told me about it after my coronation as Princess. No one had ever been able to outwit Lady Mishil before and my father was so impressed with Bidam's quick thinking that he was glad Bidam was on our side that time.

Lady Mishil knew that Bidam was a fake, but since the King and the whole council already knew about Bidam's 'predictions' pertaining to the Royal House, she needed proof before she could have him executed. So, she thought of a question that would condemn him no matter the answer he gave her.

She told him that if he could really foresee the future then he would surely know when he would die. It was a trick question, really. If Bidam said that he would die tomorrow, then Mishil would have him executed today. If he said today, then Mishil would just have him executed tomorrow. But Bidam saw through her trick and gave Mishil an answer that would hinder her from acting out of hand," the Queen paused and smiled at Yushin, her eyes now bright, regaining just a bit of its usual spirit.

"What was his answer, Your Majesty?"

"He said that yes, indeed, he already had foreseen the day of his own demise. And it was just three days before the death of the ruler of Silla. I wonder if Bidam really did see the future," the Queen replied, the last sentence barely above a whisper.

A sudden chill crept up Yushin's spine. What was she implying? That she would now follow Bidam to the afterworld? He heard the Queen's soft sigh and he braced himself for the next question, somehow knowing that it would be the one he was dreading.

"Bidam died in your arms. I saw his lips moving as he reached out his hand towards me. What was he saying?"

A large chunk of earth seemed to have caved in on him. He'd anticipated the question but it still broadsided him when it came.

"I cannot say, Your Majesty. I'm forbidden to say it," he replied.

"I'm giving you permission to say whatever it is."

Still, he hesitated and shaking his head replied, "I really cannot, Your Majesty. Forgive me but I will be committing treason if I say it."

"Please, Yushin. Forget that I'm the Queen just this once. I really need to know. Please, as one friend to another," the pain in her voice was evident and it tugged at Yushin.

Briefly, he nodded then plunged ahead without thought for himself or the consequences. Perhaps it's time that he became a friend to her again and not just a loyal supporter.

"He called your name. He said, 'Deokmana, Deokmana, forgive me.I did not mean to hurt you. I will always love you, Deokmana!'" The words came out in a rush yet they still stirred his senses. Those words were actually what drove him over the edge and gave him the ability to deliver the death blow to Bidam's battered body. It infuriated him that in spite of everything Bidam had done he still had the audacity to call the Queen by her given name. Even up to the very end, he had no qualms in committing treason.

He'd expected the Queen to at least be taken aback by Bidam's impudence, but it was actually he who was surprised by the Queen's reaction. The smile she gave him was something he'd never seen for a long time. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes were soft and glowing with an inner light. She was happy!

Then he realized that it was that trait of Bidam that had captured the Queen's heart – his ability to look at her and see her for what she really was – a simple girl caught up in a web of lies and deceit that she always tried to escape but never could; a woman who needed to be loved for who she really was and not for what she embodied.

In Bidam's eyes, she was simply Deokman. And for him, calling her by her given name was not treason but a declaration of his devotion to her. That was what differentiated the two of them. Yushin could never put his personal feelings above his sense of duty and loyalty to his country while Bidam's duty and loyalty were first and foremost to his heart. In the end, however, his heart was what destroyed him.

"Yushin, I'd like to go outside and see the mountains. It will be spring soon and I'd like to see the budding flowers before they finally bloom."

Yushin thought the Queen's request in itself innocent enough. But when he looked at the haunted look in her eyes, the chill that had started to creep inside him suddenly took hold and froze his heart. She was going to say goodbye to her beloved Silla. He swallowed the lump clogging his throat and nodded, his smile hiding the fear that would not go away.

It was only when they were already outside, looking at the far away silhouette of the mountains bordering Silla, as the Queen sat silently on her cushioned chair, that Yushin finally gave in to the grief, frustration, and regret that had lodged inside his heart. No one would ever think that the man crumpled to his knees with tears streaking down his face, crying out the name that he had been forbidden to utter, was the mighty and fearsome General Kim Yushin, conqueror of Baekje, the most famous hero of Silla,

All they would see was a man who had at last released years of pent-up emotions, a man who was now mourning a loss that he would always regret, a man who was now shamelessly crying his heart out as he knelt beside his Queen, his one true love, clutching against his breast her cold, lifeless hand.


	26. EPILOGUE

**EPILOGUE**

The morning traffic in Seoul was just starting but the young woman plodding through the busy street was already exhausted. She hasn't had a decent sleep for three nights in a row and she was now feeling its toll.

Actually, she'd not been feeling the same ever since she'd received the ring together with an ancient music box. They were bequeathed to her by her grandmother who passed away just last month. With it was a cryptic note that said: _Find its match or you will never find peace._

The ring was obviously ancient but exquisitely hand-crafted, inlaid with gold filigree and etched with the words: _Until forever_ on the underside. She did not know if she was supposed to wear it for she never saw her grandmother wearing it at any time in her life. But the ring seemed to call out to her and when she did try it on, it fit her perfectly; like it was made especially for her. It looked so beautiful on her finger that she decided to wear it without a second thought. That was when the dreams started.

At first, they were quite pleasant - nothing distinct, just the feeling of bliss, contentment, peace. Then the dreams took a different form and the feelings became so intense they were almost frightening - a sense of deep longing, loneliness, helplessness. Then just these past three nights, images started to take shape, the feelings that accompanied them were those of pain, loss, and finality. She could hear the loud clashes of metal against metal, the whizzing of arrows, of men screaming, chanting. She felt that she was screaming, too, but not aloud, only inside her head.

And amid all that chaos was the inexplicable need to find something - someone. But she could not tell what or who. The images were always blurred, like what you would see underwater, or through an unfocused camera lens.

But last night's dream was especially different - she heard a voice. Strong and masculine; entirely new to her ears yet somehow familiar. And it was calling out to her; but not really, for the name he was uttering was not hers. Yet she knew that it was her he was calling.

The sudden rush of the pedestrians around her broke through her reverie and she was forced to cross the street with them. She really had nowhere to go this morning. Her photo shoot was not scheduled until late this afternoon but she felt the urge to stroll through the park ever since she'd opened her eyes. So after a light breakfast, she lugged her trusty camera along and made her way towards the park, which was just two blocks away from her apartment. Having woken up in good spirits, in spite of the constant recurrence of her mysterious dreams, she hadn't counted on feeling physically drained after just a few minutes' walk.

Thankfully, most of the benches were unoccupied, owing to the fact that it was a workday and most of the urbanites were locked down to their desks at this hour. She chose one that was facing a colorful field of wildflowers. Perhaps she could take a breather and capture a few shots of the refreshing scenery instead of her usual fare of snobby celebrities. She lifted her camera and peeked through the viewfinder, scanning the park for an interesting subject when she was almost taken aback by the image of a man peeking through a camera that was aimed at her. Knowing that they could see each other clearly, albeit through their cameras, the man lifted his arm and waved at her. Strangely, her arm went up of its own accord and waved back. A couple of minutes later, the man was strolling towards her.

"Hello! It seems that we were both caught on camera," he said smiling down at her. The deep timbre of his voice went through her like a shard of ice. She knew she'd never met him before, yet there was something very familiar about him.

He motioned towards the empty space on her bench, apparently asking her permission to sit with her. She nodded as she rummaged through her memory banks in search of a name that would go with the voice. But the information eluded her somehow.

"So, you're a photographer, too. Professional or hobbyist?" he asked, smiling at her. Somehow, his smile tugged at her memories, too. _Do I know him? Have we met before?_

"I'd like to think of myself as a professional, but yes, I do take photos for a living. What about you?"

His eyes seemed to bore through her soul, searching - but not unpleasantly. It seemed like he was also trying to remember something as continued to look at her. Then he smiled again, that same smile that still tugged at her, urging her to recollection.

"It's just a hobby for me, I don't do it in the actual world. What kind of pictures do you take?"

"Celebrities, mostly. I work for a magazine."

"Wow! That's interesting. Do you have a photo shoot scheduled here now?"

"No. I'm taking a breather. I usually do this often - take pictures of nature or sceneries in between shoots. Just to keep me grounded," she said smiling back at him. She noticed how handsome he was, especially with the cute, little dimples that creased his cheeks whenever he smiled.

"You like wildflowers, then?" he asked, looking around at the abundance of them around the park.

"Yes. I really don't know why, but I've always been partial to them."

"Yeah. Me, too," he said as he continued looking at the field of wildflowers before them with a certain sad air.

"So, what do you do? In the real world, that is?" she asked, trying to break through his sudden melancholy.

"I'm actually a screenwriter. But in the middle of a project when I find myself looking for a break, I indulge my hobby. "

"Well, THAT's interesting. What project are you working on now?"

"It's some sort of historical romance. It will be airing soon but I was having trouble with the female character. This will sound strange, but when I saw you, she suddenly came to life for me. In my mind, Deokman looks exactly like you."

At the mention of that name, everything clicked into place. Now she remembered where she'd heard his voice. His was the voice from her dream! And he also called her Deokman then!

"Is it you?" she quietly asked, not really knowing why she did.

"What did you say?" he asked, turning to her with eyes that searched her face, boring into the deepest recesses of her soul.

"N-Nothing. Look, I think I better go. I still have to prepare for my photo shoot later. It's been nice meeting you. I'm Deanna, by the way," she said, casually extending her right hand.

"Oh, right. I'm Brian," he said, clasping her hand into his.

She felt her jade ring click against something in his hand, and when she looked down at their clasped hands, she saw that he was wearing a ring that was identical to hers. Then, a myriad stars seemed to explode inside her head and she was finally seeing the images in her dreams in vibrant color, clear as day - the bouquet of wildflowers, the bridge by the lake, the identical rings, the arrows, the fallen bodies, his fallen body - everything that had been tormenting her these past few days. Only this time, they no longer felt like mere images in a dream, but more like dormant memories now released from eternity's stronghold.

When she looked up, she saw the same wealth of emotions churning inside her reflected in his eyes. And that's when she knew, it was him, the one that the ring was looking for.

"It is you!" she exclaimed.

"Yes, it's me," he replied, his eyes now shining with a love that had endured through time and space.

They moved at the same time, both longing to touch, to assure each other that the person before them was not an illusion. And as they finally embraced, joy and contentment descended upon them - and with it the assurance that no one, nothing, will ever come between them again.

The rings have been reunited and now they can both find peace - until forever.

****The End****


End file.
